Cookerpedia - User contributions [en-gb]

Janaya Markwell

2022-02-13T13:17:08Z

GronkSideshow:

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{CookerInfoBox
| image = [[File:JANAYA.jpg]]
| age = 19
| gender = Female Conforming
| location = Gold Coast, Australia
| occupation = Roller Derby
| height = 4'9"
| weight = 48kg
| affiliations = Innocence
| aliases = Roller Girl, Flower Child, Rollerskates-1-actual
| instagram = https://www.instagram.com/convoyrollergirl/ https://www.instagram.com/janayajanee/ https://www.instagram.com/chippynaynay/
| facebook = https://www.facebook.com/convoyrollergirl/
| telegram = idk
}}
J-a-n-a-y-a Markwell, also known as Roller Girl, is a simpleton, from the Gold Coast, Australia. She is the official beat reporter for the camp.

{{Quote
|No, I haven't heard of Jonestown, what's that?
|Roller Girl|Camp EPIC
}}
{{Quote
|I'm not too sure about Waco or what that's about.
|Roller Girl|Camp EPIC
}}

==About Janaya==
[[File:Thighs.PNG|thumb|left|rumour has it Janaya's thighs can crush the skull of an UN police]]
Poor little rich girl Janaya can be found rolling through the streets of camp EPIC on a set of rollerskates that cost more than her phone, spreading her infectious positivity wherever she can.

Her signature move is complete obliviousness and lack of awareness, which has resulted in her almost being kidnapped on several occasions, and considering her parents are too wealthy for her to qualify for welfare her signature financial position is broke, but that's okay because she has plenty of time left to be able to make bank by trading off her good looks.

It is obvious that Janaya has never met a full-on punk as proper, safety-pin wearing punks are used by rich girls to punish their daddys by getting those punks to punish their arses, so Janaya is using fascists to punish her daddy instead.

== Things Janaya knows ==
* how to batter her eyelids and get other people to pay for her.
* how to BUILD #girlsarechippiestoo
* apart from that, not much apart from her favourite [[Elder Protocols of Zion|antisemitic conspiracy theories]].

== Things Janaya doesn't know ==
* Rope and Zipties in a random car are potential red flags.
* What Chloroform smells like (but it is a familiar smell)
* What Waco was
* What Jonestown was
* Why they can't just share the space with the Canberra show

Too numerous to list

== Current Status ==
[[File:Holdtheline.PNG|thumb|left|Poor Janaya is a little retarded]]
Unfortunately, the freemason's failed to send Janaya a wikipedia article about Jonestown or Waco before it was too late. Now, with all the grifter 'leaders' gone, she has become one of the defacto leaders of the poor and disenfranchised skitzoids and idiots that have been taken advantage of.

Dunny Kirk Evacuation

2022-02-13T13:02:57Z

GronkSideshow: /* 13 Feb */

{{CookerWar
| name = Operation Dunny-And-Go
| image = [[File:Surrender.jpeg]]
| conflict = Canberra Siege
| date = 11 February 2022 – 14 February 2022 
| place = Antivaxx Refugee Camp in Canberra, ACT, Australia
| result = Cooker Retreat

Evacuation of Eleventy-billion cookers (2.2 metric [[Cooktillion|cooktillions]])

Successful discovery of multiple lost children.

Joel who was rescued from a parking lot in fyshwick.

| side1 = Cookers
Drug Paraphenalia

[[3rd_Division_Cooker_Cosplayers | 3rd Division Cooker Display]]

| side2 = AFP

EPIC Management

Lifeline Bookfair Resistance

Canberra Show bump-in team

Canberra at large

'''alleged support'''

Freemasons, ASIO, satanic cabal, Dan andrews
| commanders1 =
[[Riccardo Bosi|Bosi]]

[[David_Graham |The Guru]]

[[Graham Hood|Admiral Hood]]

[[Phil Henderson|Phil 'Hendo' Henderson]]
| commanders2 = Normal Sane People
| forces1 = 5 million (Bosi estimate)
| forces2 = 25.69 million (Population of Sane People in Australia)
| casual1 = reality
| casual2 = ACT sewerage system
}}

The '''Dunny Kirk Evacuation''', code-named '''Operation Dunny-go''' and also known as '''Cooker Rush of Dunny kirk''', or just '''Dunny kirk''', was the evacuation of the [[cooker]] protestors during the [[Canberra Siege]] from the EPIC park and surrounds in the north of Canberra between 12 February and 14 February 2022. The operation commenced after a large number of [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]] returned to the EPIC center after the decisive and devisive draw of [[Operation Sovereign Storm]] and the successful counter action of [[Operation Sovereign Stand-around]].

After the [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]] invaded Canberra in February 2022, Canberra and the AFP '''allegedly''' declared war on the cookers and imposed a general blockade of local outrage and annoyance on them. After the phoney protests earlier in the first week of February, Canberra was better prepared to handle the influx and called in a few (probably less than) of AFP units from the surrounding regions, the Parliamentary Triangle wardens, and a couple well marked stationary cameras that were clearly ignored.

Late on 10 February, a eviction order was issued by Supreme Chancellor, Commander-in-Chief and Glorious leader of Canberra Andrew Barr with a demand that they depart at 12pm on 13th February 2022. This was approved and ratified by the Territorial Assembly and delivered to EPIC showground that very day. This gave the [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]] time to prepare for their evacuation and to do so in an orderly fashion.

On the first day, 12 February, they lost 75% of their number but by the end of 13 February the Garrison at EPIC was all but vacated with a group creating an an incursion into the Cotter region and the more bold Expedition to the Caloola farm representing the first real attempt to break into the south of Canberra. This left the 'Cold Cookedhundred' a band of irregulars made up of the remaining factions in a vain attempt to hold the line, and buy time for the evacuation elements.

== Prelude ==

Without informing the greater elements of the [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]], the leadership began preparing on 12 february for Operation Dunny-go, the evacuation and re-organization of their forces across parts of Canberra. The planning was headed up by [[Riccardo_Bosi| General Riccardo Bossi]] in his five star hotel room, over a cheese platter and a bottle of Chateau-o'der-floor while watching the Married at first sight Season finale. This was interrupted as He was required by [[Graham_Hood | Admiral Hoody]] to help and lead [[Operation_Sovereign_Storm | Operation Sovereign Storm]].

== Evacuation ==

=== 12 Feb ===

=== 13 Feb ===

The day was largely devoted to the exodus of a small percentage of the camp who had been eliminated during the [[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night|Cooker Open Mic Night]] events throughout the camp. Camp officals, all of whom refused to be identified as a leader, believe that just 1% of the residents have left.

It also saw a number of semi-finals of the Cooker Open Mic Night, believed to be anywhere from 3 to a staggering 5 million semi-finals. Following these hotly-contested events, which took place in a shed rather than the usual performing arts complex, the [[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night_Grand_Final|grand final]] commenced at 8:30pm. Danni was crowned winner of this inaugural event, and was awarded the Broken Crack Pipe.

A group of veterinarians established an a campsite, near to the gate at 7th Heaven, where women and children could be protected by angry people with PTSD, and likely weapons. A group of bicycle thugs were also rumoured to have been within this group.

The festivities of the night gradually dwindled around 11:40pm AEST, where the police were seen closing the gates to EPIC, trapping around 1.4 million people inside. A few brave livestreamers continued to prowl through the huge crowds in the final minutes, recording this historic victory for the great unwashed. We anticipated that all mobile data will be cut to the site shortly.

=== 14 Feb ===

Midnight came, and, just like everything else the cookers have done during their time in Canberra, they once again disappointed the normal people of Australia when nothing actually happened. A few racists comments were made to security guards, but that was about it.

== The Operation ==

=== Evacuation Routes ===

=== Vehicles ===

{| class="wikitable"
!colspan="3" |Cooker Cars
!colspan="2" |Total Engaged
!colspan="2" |Impounded
!colspan="2" |Damaged
|-
|colspan="3" |Cookerforce 1
|colspan="2" |1
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |0
|-
|colspan="3" |fully sick civic, bruz
|colspan="2" |1
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |Probably
|-
|colspan="3" |Vaxed Bus
|colspan="2" |1
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |0
|-
|colspan="3" |VW Golf
|colspan="2" |>10
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |1
|}

=== Canberra Counter Operations ===

== Aftermath ==

=== Analysis ===

=== Casualties ===

== The Last Stand(s) ==

=== The Caloola Expedition ===

=== The Cotter Incursion ===

=== The last stand of the 'REGIONAL FAMERS MARKET' ===

Dunny Kirk Evacuation

2022-02-13T13:02:25Z

GronkSideshow: /* 13 Feb */

{{CookerWar
| name = Operation Dunny-And-Go
| image = [[File:Surrender.jpeg]]
| conflict = Canberra Siege
| date = 11 February 2022 – 14 February 2022 
| place = Antivaxx Refugee Camp in Canberra, ACT, Australia
| result = Cooker Retreat

Evacuation of Eleventy-billion cookers (2.2 metric [[Cooktillion|cooktillions]])

Successful discovery of multiple lost children.

Joel who was rescued from a parking lot in fyshwick.

| side1 = Cookers
Drug Paraphenalia

[[3rd_Division_Cooker_Cosplayers | 3rd Division Cooker Display]]

| side2 = AFP

EPIC Management

Lifeline Bookfair Resistance

Canberra Show bump-in team

Canberra at large

'''alleged support'''

Freemasons, ASIO, satanic cabal, Dan andrews
| commanders1 =
[[Riccardo Bosi|Bosi]]

[[David_Graham |The Guru]]

[[Graham Hood|Admiral Hood]]

[[Phil Henderson|Phil 'Hendo' Henderson]]
| commanders2 = Normal Sane People
| forces1 = 5 million (Bosi estimate)
| forces2 = 25.69 million (Population of Sane People in Australia)
| casual1 = reality
| casual2 = ACT sewerage system
}}

The '''Dunny Kirk Evacuation''', code-named '''Operation Dunny-go''' and also known as '''Cooker Rush of Dunny kirk''', or just '''Dunny kirk''', was the evacuation of the [[cooker]] protestors during the [[Canberra Siege]] from the EPIC park and surrounds in the north of Canberra between 12 February and 14 February 2022. The operation commenced after a large number of [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]] returned to the EPIC center after the decisive and devisive draw of [[Operation Sovereign Storm]] and the successful counter action of [[Operation Sovereign Stand-around]].

After the [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]] invaded Canberra in February 2022, Canberra and the AFP '''allegedly''' declared war on the cookers and imposed a general blockade of local outrage and annoyance on them. After the phoney protests earlier in the first week of February, Canberra was better prepared to handle the influx and called in a few (probably less than) of AFP units from the surrounding regions, the Parliamentary Triangle wardens, and a couple well marked stationary cameras that were clearly ignored.

Late on 10 February, a eviction order was issued by Supreme Chancellor, Commander-in-Chief and Glorious leader of Canberra Andrew Barr with a demand that they depart at 12pm on 13th February 2022. This was approved and ratified by the Territorial Assembly and delivered to EPIC showground that very day. This gave the [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]] time to prepare for their evacuation and to do so in an orderly fashion.

On the first day, 12 February, they lost 75% of their number but by the end of 13 February the Garrison at EPIC was all but vacated with a group creating an an incursion into the Cotter region and the more bold Expedition to the Caloola farm representing the first real attempt to break into the south of Canberra. This left the 'Cold Cookedhundred' a band of irregulars made up of the remaining factions in a vain attempt to hold the line, and buy time for the evacuation elements.

== Prelude ==

Without informing the greater elements of the [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]], the leadership began preparing on 12 february for Operation Dunny-go, the evacuation and re-organization of their forces across parts of Canberra. The planning was headed up by [[Riccardo_Bosi| General Riccardo Bossi]] in his five star hotel room, over a cheese platter and a bottle of Chateau-o'der-floor while watching the Married at first sight Season finale. This was interrupted as He was required by [[Graham_Hood | Admiral Hoody]] to help and lead [[Operation_Sovereign_Storm | Operation Sovereign Storm]].

== Evacuation ==

=== 12 Feb ===

=== 13 Feb ===

The day was largely devoted to the exodus of a small percentage of the camp who had been eliminated during the [[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night|Cooker Open Mic Night]] events throughout the camp. Camp officals, all of whom refused to be identified as a leader, believe that just 1% of the residents have left.

It also saw a number of semi-finals of the Cooker Open Mic Night, believed to be anywhere from 3 to a staggering 5 million semi-finals. Following these hotly-contested events, which took place in a shed rather than the usual performing arts complex, the [[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night_Grand_Final|grand final]] commenced at 8:30pm. Danni was crowned winner of this inaugural event, and was awarded the Broken Crack Pipe.

A group of veterinarians established an a campsite, near to the gate at 7th Heaven, where women and children could be protected by angry people with PTSD, and likely weapons. A group of bicycle thugs were also rumoured to have been within this group.

The festivities of the night gradually dwindled around 11:40pm AEST, where the police were seen closing the gates to EPIC, trapping around 1.4 million people inside. A few brave livestreamers continued to prowl through the huge crowds in the final minutes, recording this historic victory for the great unwashed. We anticipated that all mobile data will be cut to the site shortly.

Midnight came, and, just like everything else the cookers have done during their time in Canberra, they once again disappointed the normal people of Australia when nothing actually happened.

== The Operation ==

=== Evacuation Routes ===

=== Vehicles ===

{| class="wikitable"
!colspan="3" |Cooker Cars
!colspan="2" |Total Engaged
!colspan="2" |Impounded
!colspan="2" |Damaged
|-
|colspan="3" |Cookerforce 1
|colspan="2" |1
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |0
|-
|colspan="3" |fully sick civic, bruz
|colspan="2" |1
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |Probably
|-
|colspan="3" |Vaxed Bus
|colspan="2" |1
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |0
|-
|colspan="3" |VW Golf
|colspan="2" |>10
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |1
|}

=== Canberra Counter Operations ===

== Aftermath ==

=== Analysis ===

=== Casualties ===

== The Last Stand(s) ==

=== The Caloola Expedition ===

=== The Cotter Incursion ===

=== The last stand of the 'REGIONAL FAMERS MARKET' ===

Dunny Kirk Evacuation

2022-02-13T12:52:06Z

GronkSideshow: /* 13 Feb */

{{CookerWar
| name = Operation Dunny-And-Go
| image = [[File:Surrender.jpeg]]
| conflict = Canberra Siege
| date = 11 February 2022 – 14 February 2022 
| place = Antivaxx Refugee Camp in Canberra, ACT, Australia
| result = Cooker Retreat

Evacuation of Eleventy-billion cookers (2.2 metric [[Cooktillion|cooktillions]])

Successful discovery of multiple lost children.

Joel who was rescued from a parking lot in fyshwick.

| side1 = Cookers
Drug Paraphenalia

[[3rd_Division_Cooker_Cosplayers | 3rd Division Cooker Display]]

| side2 = AFP

EPIC Management

Lifeline Bookfair Resistance

Canberra Show bump-in team

Canberra at large

'''alleged support'''

Freemasons, ASIO, satanic cabal, Dan andrews
| commanders1 =
[[Riccardo Bosi|Bosi]]

[[David_%27Kanga_Guru%27_Graham |The Guru]]

[[Graham Hood|Admiral Hood]]

[[Phil 'Hendo' Henderson]]
| commanders2 = Normal Sane People
| forces1 = 5 million (Bosi estimate)
| forces2 = 25.69 million (Population of Sane People in Australia)
| casual1 = reality
| casual2 = ACT sewerage system
}}

The '''Dunny Kirk Evacuation''', code-named '''Operation Dunny-go''' and also known as '''Cooker Rush of Dunny kirk''', or just '''Dunny kirk''', was the evacuation of the [[cooker]] protestors during the [[Canberra Siege]] from the EPIC park and surrounds in the north of Canberra between 12 February and 14 February 2022. The operation commenced after a large number of [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]] returned to the EPIC center after the decisive and devisive draw of [[Operation Sovereign Storm]] and the successful counter action of [[Operation Sovereign Stand-around]].

After the [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]] invaded Canberra in February 2022, Canberra and the AFP '''allegedly''' declared war on the cookers and imposed a general blockade of local outrage and annoyance on them. After the phoney protests earlier in the first week of February, Canberra was better prepared to handle the influx and called in a few (probably less than) of AFP units from the surrounding regions, the Parliamentary Triangle wardens, and a couple well marked stationary cameras that were clearly ignored.

Late on 10 February, a eviction order was issued by Supreme Chancellor, Commander-in-Chief and Glorious leader of Canberra Andrew Barr with a demand that they depart at 12pm on 13th February 2022. This was approved and ratified by the Territorial Assembly and delivered to EPIC showground that very day. This gave the [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]] time to prepare for their evacuation and to do so in an orderly fashion.

On the first day, 12 February, they lost 75% of their number but by the end of 13 February the Garrison at EPIC was all but vacated with a group creating an an incursion into the Cotter region and the more bold Expedition to the Caloola farm representing the first real attempt to break into the south of Canberra. This left the 'Cold Cookedhundred' a band of irregulars made up of the remaining factions in a vain attempt to hold the line, and buy time for the evacuation elements.

== Prelude ==

Without informing the greater elements of the [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]], the leadership began preparing on 12 february for Operation Dunny-go, the evacuation and re-organization of their forces across parts of Canberra. The planning was headed up by [[Riccardo_Bosi| General Riccardo Bossi]] in his five star hotel room, over a cheese platter and a bottle of Chateau-o'der-floor while watching the Married at first sight Season finale. This was interrupted as He was required by [[Graham_Hood | Admiral Hoody]] to help and lead [[Operation_Sovereign_Storm | Operation Sovereign Storm]].

== Evacuation ==

=== 12 Feb ===

=== 13 Feb ===

The day was largely devoted to the exodus of a small percentage of the camp who had been eliminated during the [[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night|Cooker Open Mic Night]] events throughout the camp. Camp officals, all of whom refused to be identified as a leader, believe that just 1% of the residents have left.

It also saw a number of semi-finals of the Cooker Open Mic Night, believed to be anywhere from 3 to a staggering 5 million semi-finals. Following these hotly-contested events, which took place in a shed rather than the usual performing arts complex, the [[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night_Grand_Final|grand final]] commenced at 8:30pm. Danni was crowned winner of this inaugural event, and was awarded the Broken Crack Pipe.

A group of veterinarians established an a campsite, near to the gate at 7th Heaven, where women and children could be protected by angry people with PTSD, and likely weapons. A group of bicycle thugs were also rumoured to have been within this group.

The festivities of the night gradually dwindled around 11:40pm AEST, where the police were seen closing the gates to EPIC, trapping around 1.4 million people inside. A few brave livestreamers continued to prowl through the huge crowds in the final minutes, recording this historic victory for the great unwashed. We anticipated that all mobile data will be cut to the site shortly.

== The Operation ==

=== Evacuation Routes ===

=== Vehicles ===

{| class="wikitable"
!colspan="3" |Cooker Cars
!colspan="2" |Total Engaged
!colspan="2" |Impounded
!colspan="2" |Damaged
|-
|colspan="3" |Cookerforce 1
|colspan="2" |1
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |0
|-
|colspan="3" |fully sick civic, bruz
|colspan="2" |1
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |Probably
|-
|colspan="3" |Vaxed Bus
|colspan="2" |1
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |0
|-
|colspan="3" |VW Golf
|colspan="2" |>10
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |1
|}

=== Canberra Counter Operations ===

== Aftermath ==

=== Analysis ===

=== Casualties ===

== The Last Stand(s) ==

=== The Caloola Expedition ===

=== The Cotter Incursion ===

=== The last stand of the 'REGIONAL FAMERS MARKET' ===

Dunny Kirk Evacuation

2022-02-13T12:47:22Z

GronkSideshow: /* 13 Feb */

{{CookerWar
| name = Operation Dunny-And-Go
| image = [[File:Surrender.jpeg]]
| conflict = Canberra Siege
| date = 11 February 2022 – 14 February 2022 
| place = Antivaxx Refugee Camp in Canberra, ACT, Australia
| result = Cooker Retreat

Evacuation of Eleventy-billion cookers (2.2 metric [[Cooktillion|cooktillions]])

Successful discovery of multiple lost children.

Joel who was rescued from a parking lot in fyshwick.

| side1 = Cookers
Drug Paraphenalia

[[3rd_Division_Cooker_Cosplayers | 3rd Division Cooker Display]]

| side2 = AFP

EPIC Management

Lifeline Bookfair Resistance

Canberra Show bump-in team

Canberra at large

'''alleged support'''

Freemasons, ASIO, satanic cabal, Dan andrews
| commanders1 =
[[Riccardo Bosi|Bosi]]

[[David_%27Kanga_Guru%27_Graham |The Guru]]

[[Graham Hood|Admiral Hood]]

[[Phil 'Hendo' Henderson]]
| commanders2 = Normal Sane People
| forces1 = 5 million (Bosi estimate)
| forces2 = 25.69 million (Population of Sane People in Australia)
| casual1 = reality
| casual2 = ACT sewerage system
}}

The '''Dunny Kirk Evacuation''', code-named '''Operation Dunny-go''' and also known as '''Cooker Rush of Dunny kirk''', or just '''Dunny kirk''', was the evacuation of the [[cooker]] protestors during the [[Canberra Siege]] from the EPIC park and surrounds in the north of Canberra between 12 February and 14 February 2022. The operation commenced after a large number of [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]] returned to the EPIC center after the decisive and devisive draw of [[Operation Sovereign Storm]] and the successful counter action of [[Operation Sovereign Stand-around]].

After the [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]] invaded Canberra in February 2022, Canberra and the AFP '''allegedly''' declared war on the cookers and imposed a general blockade of local outrage and annoyance on them. After the phoney protests earlier in the first week of February, Canberra was better prepared to handle the influx and called in a few (probably less than) of AFP units from the surrounding regions, the Parliamentary Triangle wardens, and a couple well marked stationary cameras that were clearly ignored.

Late on 10 February, a eviction order was issued by Supreme Chancellor, Commander-in-Chief and Glorious leader of Canberra Andrew Barr with a demand that they depart at 12pm on 13th February 2022. This was approved and ratified by the Territorial Assembly and delivered to EPIC showground that very day. This gave the [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]] time to prepare for their evacuation and to do so in an orderly fashion.

On the first day, 12 February, they lost 75% of their number but by the end of 13 February the Garrison at EPIC was all but vacated with a group creating an an incursion into the Cotter region and the more bold Expedition to the Caloola farm representing the first real attempt to break into the south of Canberra. This left the 'Cold Cookedhundred' a band of irregulars made up of the remaining factions in a vain attempt to hold the line, and buy time for the evacuation elements.

== Prelude ==

Without informing the greater elements of the [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]], the leadership began preparing on 12 february for Operation Dunny-go, the evacuation and re-organization of their forces across parts of Canberra. The planning was headed up by [[Riccardo_Bosi| General Riccardo Bossi]] in his five star hotel room, over a cheese platter and a bottle of Chateau-o'der-floor while watching the Married at first sight Season finale. This was interrupted as He was required by [[Graham_Hood | Admiral Hoody]] to help and lead [[Operation_Sovereign_Storm | Operation Sovereign Storm]].

== Evacuation ==

=== 12 Feb ===

=== 13 Feb ===

The day was largely devoted to the exodus of a small percentage of the camp who had been eliminated during the [[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night|Cooker Open Mic Night]] events throughout the camp.

It also saw a number of semi-finals of the Cooker Open Mic Night, believed to be anywhere from 3 to a staggering 5 million semi-finals. Following these hotly-contested events, which took place in a shed rather than the usual performing arts complex, the [[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night_Grand_Final|grand final]] commenced at 8:30pm. Danni was crowned winner of this inaugural event, and was awarded the Broken Crack Pipe.

== The Operation ==

=== Evacuation Routes ===

=== Vehicles ===

{| class="wikitable"
!colspan="3" |Cooker Cars
!colspan="2" |Total Engaged
!colspan="2" |Impounded
!colspan="2" |Damaged
|-
|colspan="3" |Cookerforce 1
|colspan="2" |1
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |0
|-
|colspan="3" |fully sick civic, bruz
|colspan="2" |1
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |Probably
|-
|colspan="3" |Vaxed Bus
|colspan="2" |1
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |0
|-
|colspan="3" |VW Golf
|colspan="2" |>10
|colspan="2" |0
|colspan="2" |1
|}

=== Canberra Counter Operations ===

== Aftermath ==

=== Analysis ===

=== Casualties ===

== The Last Stand(s) ==

=== The Caloola Expedition ===

=== The Cotter Incursion ===

=== The last stand of the 'REGIONAL FAMERS MARKET' ===

Holy Speaking Dildo

2022-02-13T12:42:59Z

GronkSideshow:

[[File:Stick.jpg|thumb|upright=1.25|
''Cooker holding the speaking stick, and speaking ]]

The '''Holy Speaking Dildo''' also known as the '''Speaking stick''', or the '''let me speak, bitch''' is the most sacred of relic of the [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]]. It appears to be a black 18" black rubber dildo that with a alarmingly non-flared safety base.

It was used exclusively for the [[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night_Grand_Final|Cooker Open Mic Night Grand Final]], though was not seen shortly after the conclusion of the event. It is believed that Danni, the winner of the inaugural event, has taken it to prevent her from conceiving another child.

Holy Speaking Dildo

2022-02-13T12:42:41Z

GronkSideshow:

[[File:Stick.jpg|thumb|upright=1.25|
''Cooker holding the speaking stick, and speaking ]]

The '''Holy Speaking Dildo''' also known as the '''Speaking stick''', or the '''let me speak, bitch''' is the most sacred of relic of the [[:Category:Cookers|cookers]]. It appears to be a black 18" black rubber dildo that with a alarmingly non-flared safety base. It was used exclusively for the [[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night_Grand_Final|Cooker Open Mic Night Grand Final]], though was not seen shortly after the conclusion of the event. It is believed that Danni, the winner of the inaugural event, has taken it to prevent her from conceiving another child.

Cooker Open Mic Night Grand Final

2022-02-13T12:40:54Z

GronkSideshow:

[[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night|Cooker Open Mic Night]] was an an event held in the cesspit known as [[Camp_EPIC|Camp Epic]]. It followed a free-form talent show competition, which ran most of the time through the campsite.

After a hotly contested event, the inaugural Broken Crack Pipe was awarded to Danni from Sydney, for her unwavering commitment to utter nonsense and gibberish about vaccines, viruses and goodness knows what else.

= Heats and Semi-Finals =

A large percentage of the cookers had been eliminated throughout the event during the week, with three hotly contested semi-finals during the day of Sunday, February 13 2022. These semi-finals had taken place inside a shed, rather than the usual venue, which thwarted most mobile phone reception, and at least one streamer had to wash his phone repeatedly to continue the stream. At one time, several microphones were used in an unorthodox demonstration of basic microphone use.

At the completion of these semi-finals, many more cookers returned home. The timing of the final was announced by a cooker on a bicycle, using a megaphone to inform the few remaining audience members of the time and place.

== Highlights ==

''This section is incomplete -- you can add your own favourite nonsense bytes from the heats and semi-finals''

= Grand Final =
The grand final took place from 8:30pm on Friday 13, 2022, at the main meeting area and dance floor (adjacent to the communal kitchen for the sheeple). A new introduction to the grand final was the use of a [[Holy_Speaking_Dildo|talking stick]], rumoured to be a dildo belonging to Cindy. The lineup was fierce, as was the competition.

== Master of Ceremonies ==
Guru took up the microphone first, clearly having not heard his voice enough for the day. He started with the formal opening of the event: telling everybody what to do but denying being responsible for what anybody does, and informing the audience that if they are female or a child, it would have been best for them to leave hours ago.

== Acts ==

* We started with a Grandpa Simpson story from a gronk whose name I missed. Apparently he told the cops to move a car last night, AND THEY DID! He cried. We all cried.
* 2 women had a communal cry because all their “brave men”, and everybody else in their camp, just ran away tonight. Apparently God is her oxygen, time for an optional prayer!

Intermission: lots of waving at the drones keeping an eye on them. Apparently waving at then is a good idea.

* Tom’s turn next, a pom in a Broncos jersey. Advertising the vet’s security offer for the vulnerable (though perhaps looking after animals would be a better choice for a veterinarian?). He can’t count either, estimating 1,000 people on the library lawn, growing quickly to 3,000 over a few days to 100,000 at least yesterday. His speech was interrupted by a request for a puffer, before he was booed off for taking too long. But he trusts the vets to get us through this.

* Shane told a heart-felt story about making god proud yesterday. He was a little nervous though.

* Nimbin man, from the Australian capital for protesting, has announced that many stoners are driving back home to bring even more stoners back soon. Perhaps they’ve run out of pot?

''A public service announcement:''They lost the talking stick, and also still haven’t found a Ventolin puffer for the boomer dying.

* Danni comes from Sydney. She’s had 6 children, one “got a virus, that wasn’t covid, but he almost died”. Doctors couldn’t work it out, but the infectious diseases doctors '''DIDN’T WEAR MASKS!!''' Why? Because '''YOU CAN’T CATCH A VIRUS'''!!!! They have to be injected. We then disappeared into a fully cooked religious nonsense for 10 minutes.

* High-Viz Rodney similarly believes the religious cooker nonsense, and has organised a prayer group after the open mic night.

* Shannon has had a LOT of drugs lately. So much so, he tried to talk into the Talking Stick instead of the microphone. Shoes off please to connect with the land! Apparently he got into a standoff with the police at Government House. End bitumen mandates!

* Another bucket hat recounting his time interrupting kids playing games. His family, including a brother who is a priest, told him that if he started spouting his cooker nonsense at Christmas Day, he’d be kicked out. God touched him? And I think he got kicked out of the entire family, not just a single meal.

''A public service announcement:'' turn your phone from 5G to 4G, to stop the tracker. Guru suggested 3G instead. Funnily, the mobile phone networks will still know at least which mobile phone tower you're connected too in order to route the calls...

* A woman from Mackay rocks up (apparently the entire population of Mackay came down to Kambrah?), who has been holding the line. She lived in Melbourne before fleeing to Queensland like all the other cowards and influencers did. “The power of the people is stronger than the people in power”. It has a nice ring to it, and I think she'll do well next year.

* Ralph from Coogee next. He’s quite rugged up! He can’t think of a single place he’d rather be than in front of the gronks.

''A public service announcement:'' Tomorrow they’re going to the high court (the pizza court?). “They reckon they can judge us?” He then proceeded to give us an address at Tharwa, “the property we are going to represent in the high court”. Rumours about attending the magistrate's court tomorrow instead were not discussed.

* Mandy doesn’t know what to say, but she has the stick, and she apparently does like to ramble -- so look out gronks! For those with mental health issues, “just hang in there” with the rest of your family. Apparently South Australia is north of Canberra? $11 in the pocket, half a tank of petrol, and she thought she’d “just wing it” to Kambrah. Dumb luck can only get you so far, I guess.

* Janine is from regional Victoria, but now renamed to Victoryland. I think this is the relief teacher from one of the semi-finals, who insisted on utter silence before her rant, though she learned that the judges did not look favourable upon this. “This is an opportunity from divine intervention”, but I think that will come from AFP rather than the sky person she believes in. She left a conference she was running to come to Kambra. Apparently everybody is already free, so I don’t know what the point of the protest was. She supported somebody called “Soul Millihen” through a High Court case, but a police prosecutor told her they didn’t have a case after watching a video. Jabs cause us to turn into robots. Then her fire-up song: “When god set us free from captivity, we were like <something>” and then everybody’s ears bled as she kept going. Hopefully there’s a soundproof cell for her at the jail…

''A public service announcement:'' A David and Goliath renactment is happening tomorrow morning, though it is unsure which cave.

* Daniel from the Gold Coast – 4 foot tall, jockey voice. Camped at the library. Police scare him, because probably because he’s short. And angry. “Police are going to do stupid shit to us”, which I guess is one of the stupid prizes on offer for the stupid games they're about to play. Short speech, just like him.

* James from Melbourne delivers some unpublished information about 5G. Turning off the 5G still gives him a headache – even faster than 4G. One of the frequencies in 5G is weaponised, but lower powered. Wifi has a similar effect. No ground-breaking research like we'd bee promised though by the hypeman Guru.

''A public service announcement:'' They’re going to kill us with music next. “Let the fearful flee”

* Steve is from regional Victoria. He looks a bit like an AFP plant, with his Canberra-issue puffer jacket (in summer?), but then jumped STRAIGHT into the scriptures. He scored points for memorising his lines, but aside from yelling the last bit, he didn't really go anywhere.

''A public service announcement:'' Lost property interruption – a lady’s bag. Looks cheap, but probably full of drugs.

* Rubyvale is a little town near Emerald, Steve lives underground there digging up rocks. He drove 2,400km to get here, but can’t be fucked to drive back home tomorrow. His wife says there’s nothing on the TV about him, so he has to stay here until there is. He doesn’t give up (except he gives up on driving home). Go to Longreach, but don’t visit the Qantas museum because they caused all this.

* Mitchel from western Victoria was interrupted before he started by a short woman from the kitchen to announce that they’re not cooking breakfast tomorrow. But how good are the recyclers, and the MSM!

* Dylan brought a guitar. 3 people danced, though it started a night of terrible music and dancing with whatever drugs people had left at this stage.

= Winner =

Danni was crowned 2022's Cooker Open Mic Night champion, after her rousing pile of word salad. She will defend her crown at the next protest, at this stage scheduled for Saturday, 19 February 2022.

Battle of EPIC

2022-02-13T12:33:05Z

GronkSideshow:

{{CookerWar
| name = Battle of EPIC
| image = [[File:0748 epic 021.jpg]]
| conflict = Canberra Siege
| date = February 2022 – ''present'' 
| place = EPIC Campground, Canberra, ACT, Australia
| result = Bosilini victory
| side1 = Wolves 🐺
'''Alleged support:'''

Canberra's meth dealers
| side2 = Sheep 🐑
'''Alleged support:'''

Freemasons, Undercovers
| commanders1 =
[[Riccardo Bosi|Bosi]]

[[David_%27Kanga_Guru%27_Graham |The Guru]]

[[Phil 'Hendo' Henderson]]
| commanders2 = [[Graham Hood|Admiral Hood]]

[[Harrison McLean]]

[[The Rural Rebel]]

[[warboat|WarBus]]

[[Simeon_the_Russian_Operative_Boicov|Aussie Ballsack]]
| forces1 = 5 million (Bosi estimate), 2000 (ACT police)
| forces2 = 1 million (Hood estimate), 2000 (ACT police)
| casual1 = Countless
| casual2 = Capital Region Farmers Market
}}
The '''Battle of EPIC''', also known as the '''Cooker Offensive''' or '''Operation Cooked Out''', is an [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dick-measuring_contest ongoing conflict] in the battlefields of [[Camp EPIC|EPIC Campground]] in Canberra, Australia. Both sides are in a power struggle for leadership of the EPIC camp.

Drone swarms, commanded by [[Graham Hood|Admiral Hood]], have allegedly conducted flyovers of Camp Cooker during [[Riccardo Bosi|Bosi's]] morning briefings, to gather intelligence. As of yet they have failed to find any intelligence. Unmarked vehicles, equipped with radiation weapons, have also been sighted near the front of Camp Cooker. It is not known whether they are acting under the orders of Admiral Hood.

Bosilini's forces hoped to achieve a total surprise honking on the morning of 12 February 2022, due to a combination of Hoodite overconfidence, preoccupation with grifter plans, and poor aerial reconnaissance due to totally unexpected bad Canberra weather.

Bosilini's initial attack was planned to involve 5 million men, just over 1,400 utes, Toyota Hiluxes, and second-hand camo gear; 2,600 air horns; and a lot of stolen valour, as well as large numbers of other armored fighting vehicles (AFVs).

Both sides have threatened to use [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weapon_of_mass_destruction weaponised vaccinations].

[[Joel Gilmour|Joel]] may be seen wandering the battlefield searching for his car.

This battle was postponed while the main incursion, [[Operation Sovereign Storm]], was underway.

On 13 February 2022, Hoody conceded the battle of EPIC out of fear for the impending World Economic Forum sponsored UN invasion - declaring he would go home and [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography_addiction catch a bream]. Addressing the remaining protestors from his Luxury Presidental suite at the local Hyatt Regency, Bosi has declared that he will never concede, and claims that Hoody is aligned with the freemasons who also control the AFP UN police force.

[[File:Download.jpg|thumb|One of Saddam Insane's drone flyovers captured at EPIC. Taking the meaning of the General Atomics MQ-1 '''Predator''' drone to a whole new level.|none]]

==United Nations (Illuminati) intervention==
[[File:UnitedNations.jpeg|thumb|Notice from the United Nations demanding a cessation in hostilities by Sunday 13 February 2022.|none]]
On 11 February 2022, the ACT Government, under orders from the United Nations, who were under orders from the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rothschild_family World Bank], air dropped notices around EPIC demanding that both sides immediately cease hostilities and vacate the grounds by 13 February 2022. Admiral Hood refused to recognise the authority of the World Bank, or any corporation. Bosilini laughed off the Government's threats, noting that after the weekend he'd be the Government.

President Putin [https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-02-10/russia-continues-to-send-forces-to-ukraine-border-pentagon/100818492 amassed 100,000 troops] at its border with Ukraine, as Russia prepares to invade the country in order to prevent the NATO invasion of Camp EPIC.

==Initial Bosilini assault==
[[File:DigInBoys.jpg|thumb|Bosilini's forces, the 6th Absolutely Positively Cooked Army, conduct an initial assault.|none]]
On 12 February 2022 at 05:30, Bosilini's forces planned to begin an assault with a massive, 90-minute honking barrage using 1,600 cars across a 5-kilometer front on Admiral Hood's troops facing the 6th Absolutely Positively Cooked Army.

An estimated 1.4 million cars had arrived on February 11 2022 to form the Cookers Reserve, but due to a large amount of alcohol, biccies, and other illicit substances, they did not make it to the initial battle on February 12. More conservative estimates place this at around 300 cars, most of which were denied entry to EPIC when they arrived, and the drunken gronks inside the camp proceeded to interfere with police operations. Thankfully, the McDonalds truck was permitted entry to restock the EPIC gourmet dining option.

==Entertainment==
Despite the horrors of war, the Cooker Service Organisation (CSO) arranged for a range of light-hearted entertainment events, which were formalised into the [[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night|Cooker Open Mic Night]] competition. It gripped not only the residents, but also those live-streaming the festivities from the comfort of their home.

==Casualities==

[[File:Epic-portaloo.jpg|thumb|left|The Camp EPICs makeshift Sanitary equipment provided valiant attempts but ultimately failed to survive the onslaught of a campsite who had, for 8 long days, survived of a diet consisting entirely of RICE AND FUCKIN' ONIONS.]]

Battle of EPIC

2022-02-13T12:32:17Z

GronkSideshow:

{{CookerWar
| name = Battle of EPIC
| image = [[File:0748 epic 021.jpg]]
| conflict = Canberra Siege
| date = February 2022 – ''present'' 
| place = EPIC Campground, Canberra, ACT, Australia
| result = Bosilini victory
| side1 = Wolves 🐺
'''Alleged support:'''

Canberra's meth dealers
| side2 = Sheep 🐑
'''Alleged support:'''

Freemasons, Undercovers
| commanders1 =
[[Riccardo Bosi|Bosi]]

[[David_%27Kanga_Guru%27_Graham |The Guru]]

[[Phil 'Hendo' Henderson]]
| commanders2 = [[Graham Hood|Admiral Hood]]

[[Harrison McLean]]

[[The Rural Rebel]]

[[warboat|WarBus]]

[[Simeon_the_Russian_Operative_Boicov|Aussie Ballsack]]
| forces1 = 5 million (Bosi estimate), 2000 (ACT police)
| forces2 = 1 million (Hood estimate), 2000 (ACT police)
| casual1 = Countless
| casual2 = Capital Region Farmers Market
}}
The '''Battle of EPIC''', also known as the '''Cooker Offensive''' or '''Operation Cooked Out''', is an [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dick-measuring_contest ongoing conflict] in the battlefields of [[Camp EPIC|EPIC Campground]] in Canberra, Australia. Both sides are in a power struggle for leadership of the EPIC camp.

Drone swarms, commanded by [[Graham Hood|Admiral Hood]], have allegedly conducted flyovers of Camp Cooker during [[Riccardo Bosi|Bosi's]] morning briefings, to gather intelligence. As of yet they have failed to find any intelligence. Unmarked vehicles, equipped with radiation weapons, have also been sighted near the front of Camp Cooker. It is not known whether they are acting under the orders of Admiral Hood.

Bosilini's forces hoped to achieve a total surprise honking on the morning of 12 February 2022, due to a combination of Hoodite overconfidence, preoccupation with grifter plans, and poor aerial reconnaissance due to totally unexpected bad Canberra weather.

Bosilini's initial attack was planned to involve 5 million men, just over 1,400 utes, Toyota Hiluxes, and second-hand camo gear; 2,600 air horns; and a lot of stolen valour, as well as large numbers of other armored fighting vehicles (AFVs).

Both sides have threatened to use [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weapon_of_mass_destruction weaponised vaccinations].

[[Joel Gilmour|Joel]] may be seen wandering the battlefield searching for his car.

This battle was postponed while the main incursion, [[Operation Sovereign Storm]], was underway.

On 13 February 2022, Hoody conceded the battle of EPIC out of fear for the impending World Economic Forum sponsored UN invasion - declaring he would go home and [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography_addiction catch a bream]. Addressing the remaining protestors from his Luxury Presidental suite at the local Hyatt Regency, Bosi has declared that he will never concede, and claims that Hoody is aligned with the freemasons who also control the AFP UN police force.

[[File:Download.jpg|thumb|One of Saddam Insane's drone flyovers captured at EPIC. Taking the meaning of the General Atomics MQ-1 '''Predator''' drone to a whole new level.|none]]

==United Nations (Illuminati) intervention==
[[File:UnitedNations.jpeg|thumb|Notice from the United Nations demanding a cessation in hostilities by Sunday 13 February 2022.|none]]
On 11 February 2022, the ACT Government, under orders from the United Nations, who were under orders from the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rothschild_family World Bank], air dropped notices around EPIC demanding that both sides immediately cease hostilities and vacate the grounds by 13 February 2022. Admiral Hood refused to recognise the authority of the World Bank, or any corporation. Bosilini laughed off the Government's threats, noting that after the weekend he'd be the Government.

President Putin [https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-02-10/russia-continues-to-send-forces-to-ukraine-border-pentagon/100818492 amassed 100,000 troops] at its border with Ukraine, as Russia prepares to invade the country in order to prevent the NATO invasion of Camp EPIC.

==Initial Bosilini assault==
[[File:DigInBoys.jpg|thumb|Bosilini's forces, the 6th Absolutely Positively Cooked Army, conduct an initial assault.|none]]
On 12 February 2022 at 05:30, Bosilini's forces planned to begin an assault with a massive, 90-minute honking barrage using 1,600 cars across a 5-kilometer front on Admiral Hood's troops facing the 6th Absolutely Positively Cooked Army.

An estimated 1.4 million cars had arrived on February 11 2022 to form the Cookers Reserve, but due to a large amount of alcohol, biccies, and other illicit substances, they did not make it to the initial battle on February 12. More conservative estimates place this at around 300 cars, most of which were denied entry to EPIC when they arrived, and the drunken gronks inside the camp proceeded to interfere with police operations. Thankfully, the McDonalds truck was permitted entry to restock the EPIC gourmet dining option.

==Casualities==

[[File:Epic-portaloo.jpg|thumb|left|The Camp EPICs makeshift Sanitary equipment provided valiant attempts but ultimately failed to survive the onslaught of a campsite who had, for 8 long days, survived of a diet consisting entirely of RICE AND FUCKIN' ONIONS.]]

==Entertainment==
Despite the horrors of war, the Cooker Service Organisation (CSO) arranged for a range of light-hearted entertainment events, which were formalised into the [[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night|Cooker Open Mic Night]] competition. It gripped not only the residents, but also those live-streaming the festivities from the comfort of their home.

Cooker Open Mic Night Grand Final

2022-02-13T12:30:46Z

GronkSideshow:

[[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night|Cooker Open Mic Night]] was an an event held in the cesspit known as [[Camp_EPIC|Camp Epic]]. It followed a free-form talent show competition, which ran most of the time through the campsite.

After a hotly contested event, the inaugural Broken Crack Pipe was awarded to Danni from Sydney, for her unwavering commitment to utter nonsense and gibberish about vaccines, viruses and goodness knows what else.

= Heats and Semi-Finals =

A large percentage of the cookers had been eliminated throughout the event during the week, with three hotly contested semi-finals during the day of Sunday, February 13 2022. These semi-finals had taken place inside a shed, rather than the usual venue, which thwarted most mobile phone reception, and at least one streamer had to wash his phone repeatedly to continue the stream. At one time, several microphones were used in an unorthodox demonstration of basic microphone use.

At the completion of these semi-finals, many more cookers returned home. The timing of the final was announced by a cooker on a bicycle, using a megaphone to inform the few remaining audience members of the time and place.

== Highlights ==

''This section is incomplete -- you can add your own favourite nonsense bytes from the heats and semi-finals''

= Grand Final =
The grand final took place from 8:30pm on Friday 13, 2022, at the main meeting area and dance floor (adjacent to the communal kitchen for the sheeple). A new introduction to the grand final was the use of a talking stick, rumoured to be a vibrator belonging to Cindy. The lineup was fierce, as was the competition.

== Master of Ceremonies ==
Guru took up the microphone first, clearly having not heard his voice enough for the day. He started with the formal opening of the event: telling everybody what to do but denying being responsible for what anybody does, and informing the audience that if they are female or a child, it would have been best for them to leave hours ago.

== Acts ==

* We started with a Grandpa Simpson story from a gronk whose name I missed. Apparently he told the cops to move a car last night, AND THEY DID! He cried. We all cried.
* 2 women had a communal cry because all their “brave men”, and everybody else in their camp, just ran away tonight. Apparently God is her oxygen, time for an optional prayer!

Intermission: lots of waving at the drones keeping an eye on them. Apparently waving at then is a good idea.

* Tom’s turn next, a pom in a Broncos jersey. Advertising the vet’s security offer for the vulnerable (though perhaps looking after animals would be a better choice for a veterinarian?). He can’t count either, estimating 1,000 people on the library lawn, growing quickly to 3,000 over a few days to 100,000 at least yesterday. His speech was interrupted by a request for a puffer, before he was booed off for taking too long. But he trusts the vets to get us through this.

* Shane told a heart-felt story about making god proud yesterday. He was a little nervous though.

* Nimbin man, from the Australian capital for protesting, has announced that many stoners are driving back home to bring even more stoners back soon. Perhaps they’ve run out of pot?

''A public service announcement:''They lost the talking stick, and also still haven’t found a Ventolin puffer for the boomer dying.

* Danni comes from Sydney. She’s had 6 children, one “got a virus, that wasn’t covid, but he almost died”. Doctors couldn’t work it out, but the infectious diseases doctors '''DIDN’T WEAR MASKS!!''' Why? Because '''YOU CAN’T CATCH A VIRUS'''!!!! They have to be injected. We then disappeared into a fully cooked religious nonsense for 10 minutes.

* High-Viz Rodney similarly believes the religious cooker nonsense, and has organised a prayer group after the open mic night.

* Shannon has had a LOT of drugs lately. So much so, he tried to talk into the Talking Stick instead of the microphone. Shoes off please to connect with the land! Apparently he got into a standoff with the police at Government House. End bitumen mandates!

* Another bucket hat recounting his time interrupting kids playing games. His family, including a brother who is a priest, told him that if he started spouting his cooker nonsense at Christmas Day, he’d be kicked out. God touched him? And I think he got kicked out of the entire family, not just a single meal.

''A public service announcement:'' turn your phone from 5G to 4G, to stop the tracker. Guru suggested 3G instead. Funnily, the mobile phone networks will still know at least which mobile phone tower you're connected too in order to route the calls...

* A woman from Mackay rocks up (apparently the entire population of Mackay came down to Kambrah?), who has been holding the line. She lived in Melbourne before fleeing to Queensland like all the other cowards and influencers did. “The power of the people is stronger than the people in power”. It has a nice ring to it, and I think she'll do well next year.

* Ralph from Coogee next. He’s quite rugged up! He can’t think of a single place he’d rather be than in front of the gronks.

''A public service announcement:'' Tomorrow they’re going to the high court (the pizza court?). “They reckon they can judge us?” He then proceeded to give us an address at Tharwa, “the property we are going to represent in the high court”. Rumours about attending the magistrate's court tomorrow instead were not discussed.

* Mandy doesn’t know what to say, but she has the stick, and she apparently does like to ramble -- so look out gronks! For those with mental health issues, “just hang in there” with the rest of your family. Apparently South Australia is north of Canberra? $11 in the pocket, half a tank of petrol, and she thought she’d “just wing it” to Kambrah. Dumb luck can only get you so far, I guess.

* Janine is from regional Victoria, but now renamed to Victoryland. I think this is the relief teacher from one of the semi-finals, who insisted on utter silence before her rant, though she learned that the judges did not look favourable upon this. “This is an opportunity from divine intervention”, but I think that will come from AFP rather than the sky person she believes in. She left a conference she was running to come to Kambra. Apparently everybody is already free, so I don’t know what the point of the protest was. She supported somebody called “Soul Millihen” through a High Court case, but a police prosecutor told her they didn’t have a case after watching a video. Jabs cause us to turn into robots. Then her fire-up song: “When god set us free from captivity, we were like <something>” and then everybody’s ears bled as she kept going. Hopefully there’s a soundproof cell for her at the jail…

''A public service announcement:'' A David and Goliath renactment is happening tomorrow morning, though it is unsure which cave.

* Daniel from the Gold Coast – 4 foot tall, jockey voice. Camped at the library. Police scare him, because probably because he’s short. And angry. “Police are going to do stupid shit to us”, which I guess is one of the stupid prizes on offer for the stupid games they're about to play. Short speech, just like him.

* James from Melbourne delivers some unpublished information about 5G. Turning off the 5G still gives him a headache – even faster than 4G. One of the frequencies in 5G is weaponised, but lower powered. Wifi has a similar effect. No ground-breaking research like we'd bee promised though by the hypeman Guru.

''A public service announcement:'' They’re going to kill us with music next. “Let the fearful flee”

* Steve is from regional Victoria. He looks a bit like an AFP plant, with his Canberra-issue puffer jacket (in summer?), but then jumped STRAIGHT into the scriptures. He scored points for memorising his lines, but aside from yelling the last bit, he didn't really go anywhere.

''A public service announcement:'' Lost property interruption – a lady’s bag. Looks cheap, but probably full of drugs.

* Rubyvale is a little town near Emerald, Steve lives underground there digging up rocks. He drove 2,400km to get here, but can’t be fucked to drive back home tomorrow. His wife says there’s nothing on the TV about him, so he has to stay here until there is. He doesn’t give up (except he gives up on driving home). Go to Longreach, but don’t visit the Qantas museum because they caused all this.

* Mitchel from western Victoria was interrupted before he started by a short woman from the kitchen to announce that they’re not cooking breakfast tomorrow. But how good are the recyclers, and the MSM!

* Dylan brought a guitar. 3 people danced, though it started a night of terrible music and dancing with whatever drugs people had left at this stage.

= Winner =

Danni was crowned 2022's Cooker Open Mic Night champion, after her rousing pile of word salad. She will defend her crown at the next protest, at this stage scheduled for Saturday, 19 February 2022.

Cooker Open Mic Night

2022-02-13T12:28:10Z

GronkSideshow: Created page with "Cooker Open Mic Night was a series of impromptu events which occurred during the limp occupation of EPIC site during the great Gronkening of February 2022. = Format = This demonstration of a lack of talent occurred in the main performance precinct in the campgrounds, behind the stadium, and conveniently positioned adjacent to the sheep troughs, where the destitute cookers would line up for their daily meals. This allowed them to dance whilst waiting in..."

Cooker Open Mic Night was a series of impromptu events which occurred during the limp occupation of [[Camp_EPIC|EPIC site]] during the great Gronkening of February 2022.

= Format =

This demonstration of a lack of talent occurred in the main performance precinct in the campgrounds, behind the stadium, and conveniently positioned adjacent to the sheep troughs, where the destitute cookers would line up for their daily meals. This allowed them to dance whilst waiting in line, and whilst they wait for their friend to bring back another beer from the neighbour's esky.

Heats would occur at random times during the day, though generally would occur in the morning around 8-9am, depending on how much gear the competitors had consumed the night before. There was generally another heat at 6pm, and a third after dark, though many random rants occurred throughout their stay.

A megaphone was used for amplification of the early rounds to the congregation, though gradually, the PA equipment was upgraded through the event.

Each episode consisted of a random assortment of messages, impassioned speeches, and musical acts. Most acts lasted until the audience started to become agitated or upset.

All speeches must focus on one of the core issues, though unique to this competition, they must then divert along one of the many secondary ideas floating around the camp. Popular amongst these was preaching about god, pedophiles, overthrowing the government, 5G, and the constitution.

= Special Events =

Several special events occurred throughout the festival of filth.

== Celebrity Cooker Open Mic Night ==

Historians agree that the events of both Tuesday 8 February, and Saturday February 12, 2022, were special Celebrity Editions of the Cooker Open Mic Night series, having attracted many of the big-name cookers to the stage. These included: [[Riccardo_Bosi|Riccardo Bosi]], [[Graham_Hood|Captain Dementia]], [[David_Graham|Guru]] and many, many more. Regular contestants were forbidden from participating in these events, for obvious reasons.

Sadly, without any mainstream media coverage, these Celebrity Cooker Open Mic Night episodes did not rate well with the people of Australia.

== Grand Final ==

The grand final was hotly contested, immediately before the UN "black people" and Blue-shirt police moved in to evict them. The winner of this inaugural event was Danni from Sydney.

It is covered in [[Cooker_Open_Mic_Night_Grand_Final|a seperate article]].

Cooker Open Mic Night Grand Final

2022-02-13T12:16:35Z

GronkSideshow: /* Acts */

Cooker Open Mic Night was an an event held in the cesspit known as [[Camp_EPIC|Camp Epic]]. It followed a free-form talent show competition, which ran most of the time through the campsite.

After a hotly contested event, the inaugural Broken Crack Pipe was awarded to Danni from Sydney, for her unwavering commitment to utter nonsense and gibberish about vaccines, viruses and goodness knows what else.

= Heats and Semi-Finals =

A large percentage of the cookers had been eliminated throughout the event during the week, with three hotly contested semi-finals during the day of Sunday, February 13 2022. These semi-finals had taken place inside a shed, rather than the usual venue, which thwarted most mobile phone reception, and at least one streamer had to wash his phone repeatedly to continue the stream. At one time, several microphones were used in an unorthodox demonstration of basic microphone use.

At the completion of these semi-finals, many more cookers returned home. The timing of the final was announced by a cooker on a bicycle, using a megaphone to inform the few remaining audience members of the time and place.

== Highlights ==

''This section is incomplete -- you can add your own favourite nonsense bytes from the heats and semi-finals''

= Grand Final =
The grand final took place from 8:30pm on Friday 13, 2022, at the main meeting area and dance floor (adjacent to the communal kitchen for the sheeple). A new introduction to the grand final was the use of a talking stick, rumoured to be a vibrator belonging to Cindy. The lineup was fierce, as was the competition.

== Master of Ceremonies ==
Guru took up the microphone first, clearly having not heard his voice enough for the day. He started with the formal opening of the event: telling everybody what to do but denying being responsible for what anybody does, and informing the audience that if they are female or a child, it would have been best for them to leave hours ago.

== Acts ==

* We started with a Grandpa Simpson story from a gronk whose name I missed. Apparently he told the cops to move a car last night, AND THEY DID! He cried. We all cried.
* 2 women had a communal cry because all their “brave men”, and everybody else in their camp, just ran away tonight. Apparently God is her oxygen, time for an optional prayer!

Intermission: lots of waving at the drones keeping an eye on them. Apparently waving at then is a good idea.

* Tom’s turn next, a pom in a Broncos jersey. Advertising the vet’s security offer for the vulnerable (though perhaps looking after animals would be a better choice for a veterinarian?). He can’t count either, estimating 1,000 people on the library lawn, growing quickly to 3,000 over a few days to 100,000 at least yesterday. His speech was interrupted by a request for a puffer, before he was booed off for taking too long. But he trusts the vets to get us through this.

* Shane told a heart-felt story about making god proud yesterday. He was a little nervous though.

* Nimbin man, from the Australian capital for protesting, has announced that many stoners are driving back home to bring even more stoners back soon. Perhaps they’ve run out of pot?

''A public service announcement:''They lost the talking stick, and also still haven’t found a Ventolin puffer for the boomer dying.

* Danni comes from Sydney. She’s had 6 children, one “got a virus, that wasn’t covid, but he almost died”. Doctors couldn’t work it out, but the infectious diseases doctors '''DIDN’T WEAR MASKS!!''' Why? Because '''YOU CAN’T CATCH A VIRUS'''!!!! They have to be injected. We then disappeared into a fully cooked religious nonsense for 10 minutes.

* High-Viz Rodney similarly believes the religious cooker nonsense, and has organised a prayer group after the open mic night.

* Shannon has had a LOT of drugs lately. So much so, he tried to talk into the Talking Stick instead of the microphone. Shoes off please to connect with the land! Apparently he got into a standoff with the police at Government House. End bitumen mandates!

* Another bucket hat recounting his time interrupting kids playing games. His family, including a brother who is a priest, told him that if he started spouting his cooker nonsense at Christmas Day, he’d be kicked out. God touched him? And I think he got kicked out of the entire family, not just a single meal.

''A public service announcement:'' turn your phone from 5G to 4G, to stop the tracker. Guru suggested 3G instead. Funnily, the mobile phone networks will still know at least which mobile phone tower you're connected too in order to route the calls...

* A woman from Mackay rocks up (apparently the entire population of Mackay came down to Kambrah?), who has been holding the line. She lived in Melbourne before fleeing to Queensland like all the other cowards and influencers did. “The power of the people is stronger than the people in power”. It has a nice ring to it, and I think she'll do well next year.

* Ralph from Coogee next. He’s quite rugged up! He can’t think of a single place he’d rather be than in front of the gronks.

''A public service announcement:'' Tomorrow they’re going to the high court (the pizza court?). “They reckon they can judge us?” He then proceeded to give us an address at Tharwa, “the property we are going to represent in the high court”. Rumours about attending the magistrate's court tomorrow instead were not discussed.

* Mandy doesn’t know what to say, but she has the stick, and she apparently does like to ramble -- so look out gronks! For those with mental health issues, “just hang in there” with the rest of your family. Apparently South Australia is north of Canberra? $11 in the pocket, half a tank of petrol, and she thought she’d “just wing it” to Kambrah. Dumb luck can only get you so far, I guess.

* Janine is from regional Victoria, but now renamed to Victoryland. I think this is the relief teacher from one of the semi-finals, who insisted on utter silence before her rant, though she learned that the judges did not look favourable upon this. “This is an opportunity from divine intervention”, but I think that will come from AFP rather than the sky person she believes in. She left a conference she was running to come to Kambra. Apparently everybody is already free, so I don’t know what the point of the protest was. She supported somebody called “Soul Millihen” through a High Court case, but a police prosecutor told her they didn’t have a case after watching a video. Jabs cause us to turn into robots. Then her fire-up song: “When god set us free from captivity, we were like <something>” and then everybody’s ears bled as she kept going. Hopefully there’s a soundproof cell for her at the jail…

''A public service announcement:'' A David and Goliath renactment is happening tomorrow morning, though it is unsure which cave.

* Daniel from the Gold Coast – 4 foot tall, jockey voice. Camped at the library. Police scare him, because probably because he’s short. And angry. “Police are going to do stupid shit to us”, which I guess is one of the stupid prizes on offer for the stupid games they're about to play. Short speech, just like him.

* James from Melbourne delivers some unpublished information about 5G. Turning off the 5G still gives him a headache – even faster than 4G. One of the frequencies in 5G is weaponised, but lower powered. Wifi has a similar effect. No ground-breaking research like we'd bee promised though by the hypeman Guru.

''A public service announcement:'' They’re going to kill us with music next. “Let the fearful flee”

* Steve is from regional Victoria. He looks a bit like an AFP plant, with his Canberra-issue puffer jacket (in summer?), but then jumped STRAIGHT into the scriptures. He scored points for memorising his lines, but aside from yelling the last bit, he didn't really go anywhere.

''A public service announcement:'' Lost property interruption – a lady’s bag. Looks cheap, but probably full of drugs.

* Rubyvale is a little town near Emerald, Steve lives underground there digging up rocks. He drove 2,400km to get here, but can’t be fucked to drive back home tomorrow. His wife says there’s nothing on the TV about him, so he has to stay here until there is. He doesn’t give up (except he gives up on driving home). Go to Longreach, but don’t visit the Qantas museum because they caused all this.

* Mitchel from western Victoria was interrupted before he started by a short woman from the kitchen to announce that they’re not cooking breakfast tomorrow. But how good are the recyclers, and the MSM!

* Dylan brought a guitar. 3 people danced, though it started a night of terrible music and dancing with whatever drugs people had left at this stage.

= Winner =

Danni was crowned 2022's Cooker Open Mic Night champion, after her rousing pile of word salad. She will defend her crown at the next protest, at this stage scheduled for Saturday, 19 February 2022.

Cooker Open Mic Night Grand Final

2022-02-13T12:02:47Z

GronkSideshow:

Cooker Open Mic Night was an an event held in the cesspit known as [[Camp_EPIC|Camp Epic]]. It followed a free-form talent show competition, which ran most of the time through the campsite.

After a hotly contested event, the inaugural Broken Crack Pipe was awarded to Danni from Sydney, for her unwavering commitment to utter nonsense and gibberish about vaccines, viruses and goodness knows what else.

= Heats and Semi-Finals =

A large percentage of the cookers had been eliminated throughout the event during the week, with three hotly contested semi-finals during the day of Sunday, February 13 2022. These semi-finals had taken place inside a shed, rather than the usual venue, which thwarted most mobile phone reception, and at least one streamer had to wash his phone repeatedly to continue the stream. At one time, several microphones were used in an unorthodox demonstration of basic microphone use.

At the completion of these semi-finals, many more cookers returned home. The timing of the final was announced by a cooker on a bicycle, using a megaphone to inform the few remaining audience members of the time and place.

== Highlights ==

''This section is incomplete -- you can add your own favourite nonsense bytes from the heats and semi-finals''

= Grand Final =
The grand final took place from 8:30pm on Friday 13, 2022, at the main meeting area and dance floor (adjacent to the communal kitchen for the sheeple). A new introduction to the grand final was the use of a talking stick, rumoured to be a vibrator belonging to Cindy. The lineup was fierce, as was the competition.

== Master of Ceremonies ==
Guru took up the microphone first, clearly having not heard his voice enough for the day. He started with the formal opening of the event: telling everybody what to do but denying being responsible for what anybody does, and informing the audience that if they are female or a child, it would have been best for them to leave hours ago.

== Acts ==

* We started with a Grandpa Simpson story from a gronk whose name I missed. Apparently he told the cops to move a car last night, AND THEY DID! He cried. We all cried.
* 2 women had a communal cry because all their “brave men”, and everybody else in their camp, just ran away tonight. Apparently God is her oxygen, time for an optional prayer!

Intermission: lots of waving at the drones keeping an eye on them. Apparently waving at then is a good idea.

* Tom’s turn next, a pom in a Broncos jersey. Advertising the vet’s security offer for the vulnerable (though perhaps looking after animals would be a better choice for a veterinarian?). He can’t count either, estimating 1,000 people on the library lawn, growing quickly to 3,000 over a few days to 100,000 at least yesterday. His speech was interrupted by a request for a puffer, before he was booed off for taking too long. But he trusts the vets to get us through this.

* Shane told a heart-felt story about making god proud yesterday. He was a little nervous though.

* Nimbin man, from the Australian capital for protesting, has announced that many stoners are driving back home to bring even more stoners back soon. Perhaps they’ve run out of pot?

''A public service announcement:''They lost the talking stick, and also still haven’t found a Ventolin puffer for the boomer dying.

* Danni comes from Sydney. She’s had 6 children, one “got a virus, that wasn’t covid, but he almost died”. Doctors couldn’t work it out, but the infectious diseases doctors '''DIDN’T WEAR MASKS!!''' Why? Because '''YOU CAN’T CATCH A VIRUS'''!!!! They have to be injected. We then disappeared into a fully cooked religious nonsense for 10 minutes.

* High-Viz Rodney similarly believes the religious cooker nonsense, and has organised a prayer group after the open mic night.

* Shannon has had a LOT of drugs lately. So much so, he tried to talk into the Talking Stick instead of the microphone. Shoes off please to connect with the land! Apparently he got into a standoff with the police at Government House. End bitumen mandates!

* Another bucket hat recounting his time interrupting kids playing games. His family, including a brother who is a priest, told him that if he started spouting his cooker nonsense at Christmas Day, he’d be kicked out. God touched him? And I think he got kicked out of the entire family, not just a single meal.

''A public service announcement:'' turn your phone from 5G to 4G, to stop the tracker. Guru suggested 3G instead. Funnily, the mobile phone networks will still know at least which mobile phone tower you're connected too in order to route the calls...

* A woman from Mackay rocks up (apparently the entire population of Mackay came down to Kambrah?), who has been holding the line. “The power of the people is stronger than the people in power”. It has a nice ring to it, and I think she'll do well next year.

* Ralph from Coogee next. He’s quite rugged up! He can’t think of a single place he’d rather be than in front of the gronks.

''A public service announcement:'' Tomorrow they’re going to the high court (the pizza court?). “They reckon they can judge us?” He then proceeded to give us an address at Tharwa, “the property we are going to represent in the high court”. Rumours about attending the magistrate's court tomorrow instead were not discussed.

* Mandy doesn’t know what to say, but she has the stick, and she apparently does like to ramble -- so look out gronks! For those with mental health issues, “just hang in there” with the rest of your family. Apparently South Australia is north of Canberra? $11 in the pocket, half a tank of petrol, and she thought she’d “just wing it” to Kambrah. Dumb luck can only get you so far, I guess.

* Janine is from regional Victoria, but now renamed to Victoryland. I think this is the relief teacher from one of the semi-finals, who insisted on utter silence before her rant, though she learned that the judges did not look favourable upon this. “This is an opportunity from divine intervention”, but I think that will come from AFP rather than the sky person she believes in. She left a conference she was running to come to Kambra. Apparently everybody is already free, so I don’t know what the point of the protest was. She supported somebody called “Soul Millihen” through a High Court case, but a police prosecutor told her they didn’t have a case after watching a video. Jabs cause us to turn into robots. Then her fire-up song: “When god set us free from captivity, we were like <something>” and then everybody’s ears bled as she kept going. Hopefully there’s a soundproof cell for her at the jail…

''A public service announcement:'' A David and Goliath renactment is happening tomorrow morning, though it is unsure which cave.

* Daniel from the Gold Coast – 4 foot tall, jockey voice. Camped at the library. Police scare him, because probably because he’s short. And angry. “Police are going to do stupid shit to us”, which I guess is one of the stupid prizes on offer for the stupid games they're about to play. Short speech, just like him.

* James from Melbourne delivers some unpublished information about 5G. Turning off the 5G still gives him a headache – even faster than 4G. One of the frequencies in 5G is weaponised, but lower powered. Wifi has a similar effect. No ground-breaking research like we'd bee promised though by the hypeman Guru.

''A public service announcement:'' They’re going to kill us with music next. “Let the fearful flee”

* Steve is from regional Victoria. He looks a bit like an AFP plant, with his Canberra-issue puffer jacket (in summer?), but then jumped STRAIGHT into the scriptures. He scored points for memorising his lines, but aside from yelling the last bit, he didn't really go anywhere.

''A public service announcement:'' Lost property interruption – a lady’s bag. Looks cheap, but probably full of drugs.

* Rubyvale is a little town near Emerald, Steve lives underground there digging up rocks. He drove 2,400km to get here, but can’t be fucked to drive back home tomorrow. His wife says there’s nothing on the TV about him, so he has to stay here until there is. He doesn’t give up (except he gives up on driving home). Go to Longreach, but don’t visit the Qantas museum because they caused all this.

* Mitchel from western Victoria was interrupted before he started by a short woman from the kitchen to announce that they’re not cooking breakfast tomorrow. But how good are the recyclers, and the MSM!

* Dylan brought a guitar. 3 people danced, though it started a night of terrible music and dancing with whatever drugs people had left at this stage.

= Winner =

Danni was crowned 2022's Cooker Open Mic Night champion, after her rousing pile of word salad. She will defend her crown at the next protest, at this stage scheduled for Saturday, 19 February 2022.

Cooker Open Mic Night Grand Final

2022-02-13T11:59:49Z

GronkSideshow: Created page with "Cooker Open Mic Night was an an event held in the cesspit known as Camp Epic. It followed a free-form talent show competition, which ran most of the time through the campsite. = Heats and Semi-Finals = A large percentage of the cookers had been eliminated throughout the event during the week, with three hotly contested semi-finals during the day of Sunday, February 13 2022. These semi-finals had taken place inside a shed, rather than the usual venue, whi..."

Cooker Open Mic Night was an an event held in the cesspit known as [[Camp_EPIC|Camp Epic]]. It followed a free-form talent show competition, which ran most of the time through the campsite.

= Heats and Semi-Finals =

A large percentage of the cookers had been eliminated throughout the event during the week, with three hotly contested semi-finals during the day of Sunday, February 13 2022. These semi-finals had taken place inside a shed, rather than the usual venue, which thwarted most mobile phone reception, and at least one streamer had to wash his phone repeatedly to continue the stream. At one time, several microphones were used in an unorthodox demonstration of basic microphone use.

At the completion of these semi-finals, many more cookers returned home. The timing of the final was announced by a cooker on a bicycle, using a megaphone to inform the few remaining audience members of the time and place.

= Grand Final =
The grand final took place from 8:30pm on Friday 13, 2022, at the main meeting area and dance floor (adjacent to the communal kitchen for the sheeple). A new introduction to the grand final was the use of a talking stick, rumoured to be a vibrator belonging to Cindy. The lineup was fierce, as was the competition.

== Master of Ceremonies ==
Guru took up the microphone first, clearly having not heard his voice enough for the day. He started with the formal opening of the event: telling everybody what to do but denying being responsible for what anybody does, and informing the audience that if they are female or a child, it would have been best for them to leave hours ago.

== Acts ==

* We started with a Grandpa Simpson story from a gronk whose name I missed. Apparently he told the cops to move a car last night, AND THEY DID! He cried. We all cried.
* 2 women had a communal cry because all their “brave men”, and everybody else in their camp, just ran away tonight. Apparently God is her oxygen, time for an optional prayer!

Intermission: lots of waving at the drones keeping an eye on them. Apparently waving at then is a good idea.

* Tom’s turn next, a pom in a Broncos jersey. Advertising the vet’s security offer for the vulnerable (though perhaps looking after animals would be a better choice for a veterinarian?). He can’t count either, estimating 1,000 people on the library lawn, growing quickly to 3,000 over a few days to 100,000 at least yesterday. His speech was interrupted by a request for a puffer, before he was booed off for taking too long. But he trusts the vets to get us through this.

* Shane told a heart-felt story about making god proud yesterday. He was a little nervous though.

* Nimbin man, from the Australian capital for protesting, has announced that many stoners are driving back home to bring even more stoners back soon. Perhaps they’ve run out of pot?

''A public service announcement:''They lost the talking stick, and also still haven’t found a Ventolin puffer for the boomer dying.

* Danni comes from Sydney. She’s had 6 children, one “got a virus, that wasn’t covid, but he almost died”. Doctors couldn’t work it out, but the infectious diseases doctors '''DIDN’T WEAR MASKS!!''' Why? Because '''YOU CAN’T CATCH A VIRUS'''!!!! They have to be injected. We then disappeared into a fully cooked religious nonsense for 10 minutes.

* High-Viz Rodney similarly believes the religious cooker nonsense, and has organised a prayer group after the open mic night.

* Shannon has had a LOT of drugs lately. So much so, he tried to talk into the Talking Stick instead of the microphone. Shoes off please to connect with the land! Apparently he got into a standoff with the police at Government House. End bitumen mandates!

* Another bucket hat recounting his time interrupting kids playing games. His family, including a brother who is a priest, told him that if he started spouting his cooker nonsense at Christmas Day, he’d be kicked out. God touched him? And I think he got kicked out of the entire family, not just a single meal.

''A public service announcement:'' turn your phone from 5G to 4G, to stop the tracker. Guru suggested 3G instead. Funnily, the mobile phone networks will still know at least which mobile phone tower you're connected too in order to route the calls...

* A woman from Mackay rocks up (apparently the entire population of Mackay came down to Kambrah?), who has been holding the line. “The power of the people is stronger than the people in power”. It has a nice ring to it, and I think she'll do well next year.

* Ralph from Coogee next. He’s quite rugged up! He can’t think of a single place he’d rather be than in front of the gronks.

''A public service announcement:'' Tomorrow they’re going to the high court (the pizza court?). “They reckon they can judge us?” He then proceeded to give us an address at Tharwa, “the property we are going to represent in the high court”. Rumours about attending the magistrate's court tomorrow instead were not discussed.

* Mandy doesn’t know what to say, but she has the stick, and she apparently does like to ramble -- so look out gronks! For those with mental health issues, “just hang in there” with the rest of your family. Apparently South Australia is north of Canberra? $11 in the pocket, half a tank of petrol, and she thought she’d “just wing it” to Kambrah. Dumb luck can only get you so far, I guess.

* Janine is from regional Victoria, but now renamed to Victoryland. I think this is the relief teacher from one of the semi-finals, who insisted on utter silence before her rant, though she learned that the judges did not look favourable upon this. “This is an opportunity from divine intervention”, but I think that will come from AFP rather than the sky person she believes in. She left a conference she was running to come to Kambra. Apparently everybody is already free, so I don’t know what the point of the protest was. She supported somebody called “Soul Millihen” through a High Court case, but a police prosecutor told her they didn’t have a case after watching a video. Jabs cause us to turn into robots. Then her fire-up song: “When god set us free from captivity, we were like <something>” and then everybody’s ears bled as she kept going. Hopefully there’s a soundproof cell for her at the jail…

''A public service announcement:'' A David and Goliath renactment is happening tomorrow morning, though it is unsure which cave.

* Daniel from the Gold Coast – 4 foot tall, jockey voice. Camped at the library. Police scare him, because probably because he’s short. And angry. “Police are going to do stupid shit to us”, which I guess is one of the stupid prizes on offer for the stupid games they're about to play. Short speech, just like him.

* James from Melbourne delivers some unpublished information about 5G. Turning off the 5G still gives him a headache – even faster than 4G. One of the frequencies in 5G is weaponised, but lower powered. Wifi has a similar effect. No ground-breaking research like we'd bee promised though by the hypeman Guru.

''A public service announcement:'' They’re going to kill us with music next. “Let the fearful flee”

* Steve is from regional Victoria. He looks a bit like an AFP plant, with his Canberra-issue puffer jacket (in summer?), but then jumped STRAIGHT into the scriptures. He scored points for memorising his lines, but aside from yelling the last bit, he didn't really go anywhere.

''A public service announcement:'' Lost property interruption – a lady’s bag. Looks cheap, but probably full of drugs.

* Rubyvale is a little town near Emerald, Steve lives underground there digging up rocks. He drove 2,400km to get here, but can’t be fucked to drive back home tomorrow. His wife says there’s nothing on the TV about him, so he has to stay here until there is. He doesn’t give up (except he gives up on driving home). Go to Longreach, but don’t visit the Qantas museum because they caused all this.

* Mitchel from western Victoria was interrupted before he started by a short woman from the kitchen to announce that they’re not cooking breakfast tomorrow. But how good are the recyclers, and the MSM!

* Dylan brought a guitar. 3 people danced, though it started a night of terrible music and dancing with whatever drugs people had left at this stage.

= Winner =

Danni was crowned 2022's Cooker Open Mic Night champion, after her rousing pile of word salad. She will defend her crown at the next protest, at this stage scheduled for Saturday, 19 February 2022.

Cooker

2022-02-12T05:57:24Z

GronkSideshow: /* Chanting */

Cookers consist of people who believe a wide range of conspiracy theories, whether mainstream or fringe.

Multiple definitions of the term Cooker can be found on [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cooker Urban Dictionary], though none really capture the true nature of the Cooker as demonstrated during the Conn-voy to Kambra 2022.

''We welcome further edits to this topic to expand the various aspects of this definition.''

== Background ==

Most cookers appear to have been formerly employed in low- to middle-income careers, and of at least below-average intelligence and of limited education. There are several outliers, of people who are of average intelligence, though importantly, '''this list does not include''':
* [[Bruce_Paix|Dr Bruce Paix]], a cooker anaesthetist who drank the online kool-aid, having not looked after a single person with COVID, nor read a single journal article about COVID, and certainly having not a single clue about medical statistics.
* [[John_Larter|The LARPing Ambo]], who lost his court case against the NSW Ambulance Service for his cooker ideas (yet still lives in government-funded accomodation at the Tumut ambulance station).
* [[Graham_Hood|Captain Dementia]], the porn addict-turned pilot-turned king of the cookers, who left school at 13 and yet is was allowed to fly people around the world. It is unclear what percentage of his flights he spent buzzed from rumbos in the pilot's lounge before the flight.

== Dunning-Kreuger Effect ==

The Dunning–Kruger effect is the cognitive bias whereby people with low ability at a task overestimate their ability. Some researchers also include in their definition the opposite effect for high performers: their tendency to underestimate their skills [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect]. This phenomenon is universally shared with these cookers, especially those who have worked in health fields. Those who work in quack-associated "health" fields are even more susceptible to this, and it is suspected that this may be a universal feature in this demographic.

However, even "everyday mums and dads" these days are experts in virology, epidemiology, vaccine development, and developmental psychology, thanks to their use of Facebook. Most of their information has been distributed using the "share" function, and at least 30% of their misinformation comes in the forms of Minions memes.

== Livestreaming ==

The February 12 "insurrection" has demonstrated that most cookers will live-stream their presence throughout the various social media networks which many cookers are protesting against. So much so that the larger live-streamers have had difficulty streaming the events themselves, which has in turn made laughing at the cookers from online quite difficult.

This use of the technology (which tracks their every movement and their online habits) is deeply entwined with their catch-cry "If it's not live-streamed, it didn't happen".

== Interacting with the Cookers ==

Interestingly, unlike the the remainder of the population, who generally can conduct a civil debate, the vast majority of cookers have fixed thinking about all issues they feel strongly about. Even in the face of clear, concise and un-refutable evidence, they find the mere possibility of changing their mind about something abhorrent, and will quickly turn any discussion or debate into petty name-calling, or as recently demonstrated by the cooker [[1andonlyree]] (who is currently in hospital, presumably from buthurt?), rhetoric and other nonsense.

It is recommended that, upon encountering a cooker, that one simply ignore them. This will not only deflate their Main Character Syndrome, but will also protect your brain from becoming cooked.

== Treatment ==

Unfortunately, it appears that becoming a cooker is a terminal condition. No research has been conducted to support any therapy or medications, though it is believed that getting vaccinated may help prevent worsening of the condition.

Complementary or alternative therapies have been shown to worsen the cooker.

== Chanting ==

Cookers like to gather in groups of 100,000 at a time and chant together.
{{Cite tweet |user=OzraeliAvi |number=1492327260183199751 |title=Sack Them All}} These chants often last only a few recitals before another chant is started.

In one particularly ironic episode on 10 February 2022, when the cookers attempted to support The Youth Advocate's [http://www8.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/HCASL//2022/4.html application for leave to appeal] (which was dismissed as "''frivolous and vexatious''" by [https://www.hcourt.gov.au/justices/current/patrick-keane Justice Patrick Keane AC]), they chanted two separate chants outside the High Court of Australia, after they had all slept in and missed their opportunity to yell at a building:
* Together, United, we will never be ''divided''
* Together, United, we will never be ''defeated''

Sheep Herding

2022-02-12T05:46:03Z

GronkSideshow: /* Around the Block */ Added route

The [[Cooker|Cookers]] have been the subject to a number of sheep herding exhibitions, where they themselves have been the sheep.

''This list is incomplete - you can help to expand it''

= Around the Block =

The [[Cooker|Cookers]] planned a march from Glebe Park to Australian Parliament House on Friday, February 2022 as part of their general gronkery in and around Canberra. A small number, estimated to be between 50 and 5 million, gathered in the park shortly before the march. The police guided the cookers down Cooyong St, turned them left down Petrie St, and directed them left towards Bunda St. By this time, a number of the livestreamers, such as [[Joel_Gilmore]] became disoriented through the complex city streets of Canberra, and by the time the police turned the group left again down Akuna St and back into the park, most of the cookers became dizzy as they once again entered Glebe Park. A brief stroll through the natural beauty of the park was clearly too much for the assembled cookers, and after a few poignantly cooked speeches, the great unwashed dispersed.

[[File:SheepHerding.png|700px]]
 '''Image''': The route taken by the cookers on February 11, 2022

This kind of sheep herding is usually only seen during the [https://nationalsheepdogtrials.org.au/ National Sheep Dog Trials], held every year in the Hall showgrounds.

The cookers claimed this march as a win, on the grounds that 4 people in civic cheered, including one older gentleman who they convinced to take his mask off. Another elderly gentleman was regarded as a hero, despite wearing both a mask and face shield. It was widely regarded by the non-cookers of Australia who did witness this event to have been an abject failure to achieve anything other than perhaps spreading COVID to a few vulnerable people in Garema Place.

File:SheepHerding.png

2022-02-12T05:44:23Z

GronkSideshow: The sheep herding around Civic on February 11, 2022

== Summary ==
The sheep herding around Civic on February 11, 2022

Bruce Paix

2022-02-12T05:34:26Z

GronkSideshow: /* Personal life */

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{CookerInfoBox
| image = [[File:Brucepaix.jpg]]
| age = Boomer
| gender = Male
| occupation = None now; former anaesthetist and air force gronk
| location = Adelaide
| height = manlet
| weight = 80kg, from carnivore diet
| affiliations = FRANZCA, who likely will cancel his fellowship now; AHPRA registration MED0000972407
}}
Would you let him put you to sleep?

Bruce Richard Paix is a former anaesthetist who drank the Koolaid instead of the usual anaethetist occupations of doing soduko or day trading whilst their patient is asleep. At no time has he cared for a patient with COVID, though he claims to have been to "many houses full of COVID patients" without being affected. He attributes this to the use of high-dose vitamins and a carnavore diet.

He was also a former Air Force stooge. He claims to be a "war veteran", having chosen an office job in the most cushy of armed forces. It is unclear whether he actually has even fired a weapon, or can fly a plane.

He resigned from his hospital position after he believed in the [[Cooker]] nonsense surrounding COVID, since he cannot practice outside a hospital. He was escorted out of the hospital on this day by security guards, and on that same day, he resigned his airforce position as well.

= The Airport Incident =

Bruce drove his clapped-out truck from Adelaide to join the protests in Canberra. He claims that he was simply lost in Canberra, and arrived at the airport with no clear idea where he was trying to go, despite quite adequate signage. He claims that he saw somebody in high-visibility clothing blocking the road, and immediately his "trauma" experience kicked in, and rather than follow the instructions of the traffic controller, assumed that they were asking him to assist in an accident. He was unaware that this person was a traffic controller, since "we don't have those in South Australia", and continued to drive slowly towards the traffic controller as they moved to block him from proceeding any further. He then struck the traffic controller with his car, and was arrested on site for dangerous driving, a claim he weakly denies.

He was transferred to the Alexander Maconochie Centre (AMC, though incorrectly reported by his daughter [Heather_Paix|Heather] during a livestream with one of the gronks as the "ACM"), where he was placed in quarantine due to his likelihood of having contracted COVID from his exposure in camp. He appeared in the ACT Magistrates Court the next day, pleaded not guilty to the charges, but refused the bail conditions which required him to leave the ACT and not participate in the gronkfest. He felt this condition was too draconian, and decided to return to AMC until his next hearing on 11 February 2022. He went on a personal hunger strike whilst in prison, though the mainstream media did not even mention his name during this time, making his martyrdom somewhat irrelevant.

He appeared by video link to a second hearing on 11 February 2022. At that time, the bail conditions were reduced to him not being able to drive within the ACT unless it is to the court house, a condition which he accepted.

He returned to [Kamp Krusty|Camp_EPIC] standing unrestrained on the back of the truck used by [Tami_Jane|Tami] during her recent tour of the Mainstream Media centres of the ACT, and received a hero's welcome. Several live-streaming gronks then interviewed him, where he recited the usual Cooker mantra regarding vaccines, ivermectin and other similar nonsense.

= Education =

Bruce somehow earned a Bachelor of Medicine/Bachelor of Surgery (MBBS) from the University of Adelaide in 1988. Following several years as a hospital resident, he chose to devote his life to putting people to sleep, and was admitted as a fellow of the Australian and New Zealand College of Anaesthetists (ANZCA) in 2000.

It is important to note that, it has taken him 12 years to achieve what most other doctors can achieve in 8 years.

= Personal life =

He is married to his wife Susan, and has a daughter [[Heather_Paix|Heather Paix]]. His wife and daughter run the [https://www.patchworkparkequestriancentre.com/ Patchwork Park Equestiran Centre], and a very interesting interview with them can be [https://www.thetrots.com.au/hero/retrainers/susan-and-heather-paix/ found online]. Paternity has not been confirmed.

He wears a hat from the Sydney 2000 Olympics, covered in pins he has collected from his adventures around the world. It is believed that this hat smells bad.

[[Riccardo_Bosi|Ricardo Bosi]] stated during one of his classic rants (delivered after the bulk of the gronks had gone home late on Saturday 12 February 2022) that he will be hunting all people with white hats. Bruce is believed to be quite scared by this claim.

User:GronkSideshow

2022-02-12T05:31:51Z

GronkSideshow: Created page with "Just here for the gronks"

Just here for the gronks

Talk:Main Page

2022-02-12T05:19:58Z

GronkSideshow:

Can we please add that this page is for satire in the footer, just in case one of the gronks don't get upset by their new-found fame?

Talk:Main Page

2022-02-12T05:18:35Z

GronkSideshow: Blanked the page

Cookerforce 1

2022-02-12T05:17:48Z

GronkSideshow:

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{Vehicle
| Type = Big Block Gronkmobile
| Place of Origin = Cookerstan
| In Service = Unknown - 'present'
| Used By = Cookers
| Wars = [[Canberra Siege]]
| Mass = 3.2tonnes Dry weight
30tonnes in Ego
| length = 4.6m
| width = 2.2m (approx)
| Crew = 5 cookers (Internal)
5 Cookers (boot) 
20 cookers (hanging on for dear life)
| Armor = none
| Main Armament = Empty Emu Export Cans 
Empty Monster energy drink Cans 
Body odour 
Cringe 
Weaponised Stolen Valor
| Engine = Fully-sick v6 bruz
| Power/Weight =
| Transmission = clapped out
| Suspension = Raised beyond logic
| Ground clearance = 3 cooker kids high
| Fuel capacity = 80litres
| Operational range = 150m before full oil change
| Maximum speed = 250kph (down a hill)

}}
Cookerforce 1 is an airbrushed Holden Camaro Commodore with a stinking great big chevy donk that served as a pace car during Operation Sovereign Storm's assault on Parliament house, piloted by retired digger and veteran Air Commando Brigadier Johnny Nobody. Johny has taken a wide range of experimental vaccinations in order to travel overseas to committing war crimes, having never questioned the ingredients or safety of these vaccines.

Cookerforce 1 formed the head for a number of [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=LARP LARPing] [[Cooker|Cookers]] who flocked to Parliament House like [[Sheep_Herding|sheep]]. Despite the visibility of the gronk machine, they were not the first sheep on the journey to yell at the empty building on January 12, 2022, and did not feature in any of the few live-streams which weren't disrupted by the mass mobile phone disruption by the UN.

[[file:Cookerforce-1.png|600px]]
 '''Image''': A member of the Gravy Seals looks on over Cookerforce 1

Despite their hatred for the Australian government, and having blindly followed the government into a number of questionable conflicts, they remain "Proudly Australian".

A roadworthy certificate was unable to be produced when it was requested.

''More to come as files are declassified.''

Cookerforce 1

2022-02-12T05:15:05Z

GronkSideshow:

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{Vehicle
| Type = Big Block Gronkmobile
| Place of Origin = Cookerstan
| In Service = Unknown - 'present'
| Used By = Cookers
| Wars = [[Canberra Siege]]
| Mass = 3.2tonnes Dry weight
30tonnes in Ego
| length = 4.6m
| width = 2.2m (approx)
| Crew = 5 cookers (Internal)
5 Cookers (boot) 
20 cookers (hanging on for dear life)
| Armor = none
| Main Armament = Empty Emu Export Cans 
Empty Monster energy drink Cans 
Body odour 
Cringe 
Weaponised Stolen Valor
| Engine = Fully-sick v6 bruz
| Power/Weight =
| Transmission = clapped out
| Suspension = Raised beyond logic
| Ground clearance = 3 cooker kids high
| Fuel capacity = 80litres
| Operational range = 150m before full oil change
| Maximum speed = 250kph (down a hill)

}}
Cookerforce 1 is an airbrushed Holden Camaro Commodore with a stinking great big chevy donk that served as a pace car during Operation Sovereign Storm's assault on Parliament house, piloted by retired digger and veteran Air Commando Brigadier Johnny Nobody. Johny has taken a wide range of experimental vaccinations in order to travel overseas to committing war crimes, having never questioned the ingredients or safety of these vaccines.

Cookerforce 1 formed the head for a number of [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=LARP LARPing] [[Cooker|Cookers]] who flocked to Parliament House like [[Sheep_Herding|sheep]]. Despite the visibility of the gronk machine, they were not the first sheep on the journey to yell at the empty building on January 12, 2022, and did not feature in any of the few live-streams which weren't disrupted by the mass mobile phone disruption by the UN.

[[file:Cookerforce-1.png|600px]]

Despite their hatred for the Australian government, and having blindly followed the government into a number of questionable conflicts, they remain "Proudly Australian".

A roadworthy certificate was unable to be produced when it was requested.

''More to come as files are declassified.''

Sheep Herding

2022-02-12T04:59:11Z

GronkSideshow: Created page with "The Cookers have been the subject to a number of sheep herding exhibitions, where they themselves have been the sheep. ''This list is incomplete - you can help to expand it'' = Around the Block = The Cookers planned a march from Glebe Park to Australian Parliament House on Friday, February 2022 as part of their general gronkery in and around Canberra. A small number, estimated to be between 50 and 5 million, gathered in the park shortly before t..."

The [[Cooker|Cookers]] have been the subject to a number of sheep herding exhibitions, where they themselves have been the sheep.

''This list is incomplete - you can help to expand it''

= Around the Block =

The [[Cooker|Cookers]] planned a march from Glebe Park to Australian Parliament House on Friday, February 2022 as part of their general gronkery in and around Canberra. A small number, estimated to be between 50 and 5 million, gathered in the park shortly before the march. The police guided the cookers down Cooyong St, turned them left down Batman St, and directed them left towards Bunda St. By this time, a number of the livestreamers, such as [[Joel_Gilmore]] became disoriented through the complex city streets of Canberra, and by the time the police turned the group left again down Akuna St and back into the park, most of the cookers became dizzy as they once again entered Glebe Park. A brief stroll through the natural beauty of the park was clearly too much for the assembled cookers, and after a few poignantly cooked speeches, the great unwashed dispersed.

This kind of sheep herding is usually only seen during the [https://nationalsheepdogtrials.org.au/ National Sheep Dog Trials], held every year in the Hall showgrounds.

The cookers claimed this march as a win, on the grounds that 4 people in civic cheered, including one older gentleman who they convinced to take his mask off. Another elderly gentleman was regarded as a hero, despite wearing both a mask and face shield. It was widely regarded by the non-cookers of Australia who did witness this event to have been an abject failure to achieve anything other than perhaps spreading COVID to a few vulnerable people in Garema Place.

Cookerforce 1

2022-02-12T04:46:07Z

GronkSideshow:

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{Vehicle
| Type = Big Block Gronkmobile
| Place of Origin = Cookerstan
| In Service = Unknown - 'present'
| Used By = Cookers
| Wars = [[Canberra Siege]]
| Mass = 3.2tonnes Dry weight
30tonnes in Ego
| length = 4.6m
| width = 2.2m (approx)
| Crew = 5 cookers (Internal)
5 Cookers (boot) 
20 cookers (hanging on for dear life)
| Armor = none
| Main Armament = Empty Emu Export Cans 
Empty Monster energy drink Cans 
Body odour 
Cringe 
Weaponised Stolen Valor
| Engine = Fully-sick v6 bruz
| Power/Weight =
| Transmission = clapped out
| Suspension = Raised beyond logic
| Ground clearance = 3 cooker kids high
| Fuel capacity = 80litres
| Operational range = 150m before full oil change
| Maximum speed = 250kph (down a hill)

}}
Cookerforce 1 is an airbrushed Holden Camaro Commodore with a stinking great big chevy donk that served as a pace car during Operation Sovereign Storm's assault on Parliament house, piloted by retired digger and veteran Air Commando Brigadier Johnny Nobody. It formed the head for a number of [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=LARP LARPing] [[Cooker|Cookers]] who flocked to Parliament House like sheep.

[[file:Cookerforce-1.png|600px]]

Despite their hatred for the Australian government, and having blindly followed the government into a number of questionable conflicts, they remain "Proudly Australian".

A roadworthy certificate was unable to be produced when it was requested.

''More to come as files are declassified.''

Cookerforce 1

2022-02-12T04:44:38Z

GronkSideshow:

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{Vehicle
| Type = Big Block Gronkmobile
| Place of Origin = Cookerstan
| In Service = Unknown - 'present'
| Used By = Cookers
| Wars = [[Canberra Siege]]
| Mass = 3.2tonnes Dry weight
30tonnes in Ego
| length = 4.6m
| width = 2.2m (approx)
| Crew = 5 cookers (Internal)
5 Cookers (boot) 
20 cookers (hanging on for dear life)
| Armor = none
| Main Armament = Empty Emu Export Cans 
Empty Monster energy drink Cans 
Body odour 
Cringe 
Weaponised Stolen Valor
| Engine = Fully-sick v6 bruz
| Power/Weight =
| Transmission = clapped out
| Suspension = Raised beyond logic
| Ground clearance = 3 cooker kids high
| Fuel capacity = 80litres
| Operational range = 150m before full oil change
| Maximum speed = 250kph (down a hill)

}}
Cookerforce 1 is an airbrushed Holden Camaro Commodore with a stinking great big chevy donk that served as a pace car during Operation Sovereign Storm's assault on Parliament house, piloted by retired digger and veteran Air Commando Brigadier Johnny Nobody. It formed the head for a number of [[https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=LARP|LARPing cookers] who flocked to Parliament House like sheep.

[[file:Cookerforce-1.png|600px]]

Despite their hatred for the Australian government, and having blindly followed the government into a number of questionable conflicts, they remain "Proudly Australian".

A roadworthy certificate was unable to be produced when it was requested.

''More to come as files are declassified.''

Graham Hood

2022-02-12T04:40:42Z

GronkSideshow: /* Personal Life */

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{CookerInfoBox
| image = [[File:Maskedhoody.jpg]]
| age = 72
| gender = Male Conforming
| location = Sydney, Australia
| occupation = Admiral (ret)
| height = 5'4"
| weight = 55kg
| affiliations = Freemasons, Hillsong
| aliases = Hoody, the Admiral
| instagram = idk
| facebook = https://facebook.com/grahamhoodformerpilot
| telegram = https://t.me/grahamhood
}}
Admiral (ret) Graham Archibald Theodore Hood, also known as the Admiral, is a former self confessed porn addict and freelance author, from Sydney, Australia. He has been accused of being controlled opposition and threatened to quit the protests on several occasions. Despite these continued setbacks, he is the reluctant leader of Camp Cooker (despite staying in his own private accommodation).

Never far away from a mention of God, Hoody expressed his interest in baptising people in a speech to the motley crew at Camp Cooker.

{{Quote
|“My name is Graham [...] and my struggle is pornography.”
|Graham Hood|The Hidden Battle: Breaking Free 
}}

==[[Battle of EPIC]]==
Admiral Hood is currently involved in a leadership struggle against his archnemesis and Camp Cooker Insurrectionist-in-Chief, [[Riccardo Bosi|Riccardo Bosilini]], and his sidekick 'the Guru'. Drone swarms, under the command of Admiral Hood, have allegedly conducted flyovers of Camp Cooker during Bosi's morning briefings, in order to gather intelligence. They have not been successful.

Unmarked vehicles, equipped with radiation weapons, have also been sighted near the front of Camp Cooker. It is not known whether they are acting under the orders of Admiral Hood.

==Double agent allegations==
Rumours have been heard throughout the EPIC camp that Hoody is in fact, a Hillsong plant, actively working for Scott Morrison to sow discord amongst the movement.

==Mini-mental state examination (MMSE)==
Due to incoherent rambling, this [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mini%E2%80%93Mental_State_Examination Mini Mental State Examination] has been performed during his Karnaval of Kourage tour as part of the Conn-voy to Kambrah, 2022.
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Category
! Possible points
! Score
|-
| Orientation to time
| 5
| 2
|-
| Orientation to place
| 5
| 1
|-
| Registration
| 3
| 2
|-
| Attention and calculation
| 5
| 1
|-
| Recall
| 3
| 2
|-
| Language
| 2
| 2
|-
| Repetition
| 1
| 4*
|-
| Complex commands
| 6
| 2
|}

Several independent assessors have given him an average score of 4/1 (range 2-7) for repetition. Despite this, he has scored 16/30, which makes the diagnosis of dementia highly likely.

== Personal Life ==
[[File:HoodyBeatsPornAndWife.jpg|500px|Hoody and his wife Michelle]]

Michelle Hood saved Hoody from a crippling pornography addiction. Together, they help others to turn around their addiction. It is believed that the former pilot developed this addiction whilst a pilot for Qantas, which allowed him to travel around the world to find the most depraved and horrific pornography. Thanks to Michelle, he no longer watches pornography, but has been seen to leave multiple fire emojis (🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥) on posts by instagram thots, and leave lewd messages in their inboxes.

Graham Hood

2022-02-12T04:40:30Z

GronkSideshow: /* Personal Life */

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{CookerInfoBox
| image = [[File:Maskedhoody.jpg]]
| age = 72
| gender = Male Conforming
| location = Sydney, Australia
| occupation = Admiral (ret)
| height = 5'4"
| weight = 55kg
| affiliations = Freemasons, Hillsong
| aliases = Hoody, the Admiral
| instagram = idk
| facebook = https://facebook.com/grahamhoodformerpilot
| telegram = https://t.me/grahamhood
}}
Admiral (ret) Graham Archibald Theodore Hood, also known as the Admiral, is a former self confessed porn addict and freelance author, from Sydney, Australia. He has been accused of being controlled opposition and threatened to quit the protests on several occasions. Despite these continued setbacks, he is the reluctant leader of Camp Cooker (despite staying in his own private accommodation).

Never far away from a mention of God, Hoody expressed his interest in baptising people in a speech to the motley crew at Camp Cooker.

{{Quote
|“My name is Graham [...] and my struggle is pornography.”
|Graham Hood|The Hidden Battle: Breaking Free 
}}

==[[Battle of EPIC]]==
Admiral Hood is currently involved in a leadership struggle against his archnemesis and Camp Cooker Insurrectionist-in-Chief, [[Riccardo Bosi|Riccardo Bosilini]], and his sidekick 'the Guru'. Drone swarms, under the command of Admiral Hood, have allegedly conducted flyovers of Camp Cooker during Bosi's morning briefings, in order to gather intelligence. They have not been successful.

Unmarked vehicles, equipped with radiation weapons, have also been sighted near the front of Camp Cooker. It is not known whether they are acting under the orders of Admiral Hood.

==Double agent allegations==
Rumours have been heard throughout the EPIC camp that Hoody is in fact, a Hillsong plant, actively working for Scott Morrison to sow discord amongst the movement.

==Mini-mental state examination (MMSE)==
Due to incoherent rambling, this [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mini%E2%80%93Mental_State_Examination Mini Mental State Examination] has been performed during his Karnaval of Kourage tour as part of the Conn-voy to Kambrah, 2022.
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Category
! Possible points
! Score
|-
| Orientation to time
| 5
| 2
|-
| Orientation to place
| 5
| 1
|-
| Registration
| 3
| 2
|-
| Attention and calculation
| 5
| 1
|-
| Recall
| 3
| 2
|-
| Language
| 2
| 2
|-
| Repetition
| 1
| 4*
|-
| Complex commands
| 6
| 2
|}

Several independent assessors have given him an average score of 4/1 (range 2-7) for repetition. Despite this, he has scored 16/30, which makes the diagnosis of dementia highly likely.

== Personal Life ==
[[File:HoodyBeatsPornAndWife.jpg|frame|300px|Hoody and his wife Michelle]]

Michelle Hood saved Hoody from a crippling pornography addiction. Together, they help others to turn around their addiction. It is believed that the former pilot developed this addiction whilst a pilot for Qantas, which allowed him to travel around the world to find the most depraved and horrific pornography. Thanks to Michelle, he no longer watches pornography, but has been seen to leave multiple fire emojis (🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥) on posts by instagram thots, and leave lewd messages in their inboxes.

Graham Hood

2022-02-12T04:36:45Z

GronkSideshow: /* Personal Life */

File:HoodyBeatsPornAndWife.jpg

2022-02-12T04:32:04Z

GronkSideshow: This is a photo of hoody and his wife. He beat porn because of her.

== Summary ==
This is a photo of hoody and his wife. He beat porn because of her.

Battle of EPIC

2022-02-12T04:21:21Z

GronkSideshow: /* Initial Bosilini assault */ typo

{{CookerWar
| name = Battle of EPIC
| image = [[File:0748 epic 021.jpg]]
| conflict = Canberra Siege
| date = February 2022 – ''present'' 
| place = EPIC Campground, Canberra, ACT, Australia
| result = Ongoing
| side1 = Wolves 🐺
'''Alleged support:'''

Canberra's meth dealers
| side2 = Sheep 🐑
'''Alleged support:'''

Freemasons, Undercovers
| commanders1 =
[[Riccardo Bosi|Bosi]]

[[David_%27Kanga_Guru%27_Graham |The Guru]]

[[Phil 'Hendo' Henderson]]
| commanders2 = [[Graham Hood|Admiral Hood]]

[[Harrison McLean]]

[[The Rural Rebel]]

[[warboat|WarBus]]

[[Simeon_the_Russian_Operative_Boicov|Aussie Ballsack]]
| forces1 = 5 million (Bosi estimate), 2000 (ACT police)
| forces2 = 1 million (Hood estimate), 2000 (ACT police)
| casual1 = Countless
| casual2 = Capital Region Farmers Market
}}
The '''Battle of EPIC''', also known as the '''Cooker Offensive''', is an [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dick-measuring_contest ongoing conflict] in the battlefields of [[Camp EPIC|EPIC Campground]] in Canberra, Australia. Both sides are in a power struggle for leadership of the EPIC camp.

Drone swarms, commanded by [[Graham Hood|Admiral Hood]], have allegedly conducted flyovers of Camp Cooker during [[Riccardo Bosi|Bosi's]] morning briefings, to gather intelligence. As of yet they have failed to find any intelligence. Unmarked vehicles, equipped with radiation weapons, have also been sighted near the front of Camp Cooker. It is not known whether they are acting under the orders of Admiral Hood.

Bosilini's forces hope to achieve a total surprise honking on the morning of 12 February 2022, due to a combination of Hoodite overconfidence, preoccupation with grifter plans, and poor aerial reconnaissance due to totally unexpected bad Canberra weather.

Bosilini's initial attack may involve 5 million men, just over 1,400 utes, Toyota Hiluxes, and second-hand camo gear; 2,600 air horns; and a lot of stolen valour, as well as large numbers of other armored fighting vehicles (AFVs).

Both sides have threatened to use [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weapon_of_mass_destruction weaponised vaccinations].

[[Joel Gilmour|Joel]] may be seen wandering the battlefield searching for his car.

The battle may be postponed while the main incursion [[Operation Sovereign Storm]] is underway.

[[File:Download.jpg|thumb|One of Saddam Insane's drone flyovers captured at EPIC. Taking the meaning of the General Atomics MQ-1 '''Predator''' drone to a whole new level.|none]]

==United Nations (Illuminati) intervention==
[[File:UnitedNations.jpeg|thumb|Notice from the United Nations demanding a cessation in hostilities by Sunday 13 February 2022.|none]]
On 11 February 2022, the ACT Government, under orders from the United Nations, who were under orders from the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rothschild_family World Bank], air dropped notices around EPIC demanding that both sides immediately cease hostilities and vacate the grounds by 13 February 2022. Admiral Hood refused to recognise the authority of the World Bank, or any corporation. Bosilini laughed off the Government's threats, noting that after the weekend he'd be the Government.

President Putin [https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-02-10/russia-continues-to-send-forces-to-ukraine-border-pentagon/100818492 amassed 100,000 troops] at its border with Ukraine, as Russia prepares to invade the country in order to prevent the NATO invasion of Camp EPIC.

==Initial Bosilini assault==
[[File:DigInBoys.jpg|thumb|Bosilini's forces, the 6th Absolutely Positively Cooked Army, conduct an initial assault.|none]]
On 12 February 2022 at 05:30, Bosilini's forces plan to begin an assault with a massive, 90-minute honking barrage using 1,600 cars across a 5-kilometer front on Admiral Hood's troops facing the 6th Absolutely Positively Cooked Army.

An estimated 1.4 million cars had arrived on February 11 2022 to form the Cookers Reserve, but due to a large amount of alcohol, biccies, and other illicit substances, they did not make it to the initial battle on February 12. More conservative estimates place this at around 300 cars, most of which were denied entry to EPIC when they arrived, and the drunken gronks inside the camp proceeded to interfere with police operations. Thankfully, the McDonalds truck was permitted entry to restock the EPIC gourmet dining option.

Battle of EPIC

2022-02-12T04:20:22Z

GronkSideshow: /* Initial Bosilini assault */

{{CookerWar
| name = Battle of EPIC
| image = [[File:0748 epic 021.jpg]]
| conflict = Canberra Siege
| date = February 2022 – ''present'' 
| place = EPIC Campground, Canberra, ACT, Australia
| result = Ongoing
| side1 = Wolves 🐺
'''Alleged support:'''

Canberra's meth dealers
| side2 = Sheep 🐑
'''Alleged support:'''

Freemasons, Undercovers
| commanders1 =
[[Riccardo Bosi|Bosi]]

[[David_%27Kanga_Guru%27_Graham |The Guru]]

[[Phil 'Hendo' Henderson]]
| commanders2 = [[Graham Hood|Admiral Hood]]

[[Harrison McLean]]

[[The Rural Rebel]]

[[warboat|WarBus]]

[[Simeon_the_Russian_Operative_Boicov|Aussie Ballsack]]
| forces1 = 5 million (Bosi estimate), 2000 (ACT police)
| forces2 = 1 million (Hood estimate), 2000 (ACT police)
| casual1 = Countless
| casual2 = Capital Region Farmers Market
}}
The '''Battle of EPIC''', also known as the '''Cooker Offensive''', is an [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dick-measuring_contest ongoing conflict] in the battlefields of [[Camp EPIC|EPIC Campground]] in Canberra, Australia. Both sides are in a power struggle for leadership of the EPIC camp.

Drone swarms, commanded by [[Graham Hood|Admiral Hood]], have allegedly conducted flyovers of Camp Cooker during [[Riccardo Bosi|Bosi's]] morning briefings, to gather intelligence. As of yet they have failed to find any intelligence. Unmarked vehicles, equipped with radiation weapons, have also been sighted near the front of Camp Cooker. It is not known whether they are acting under the orders of Admiral Hood.

Bosilini's forces hope to achieve a total surprise honking on the morning of 12 February 2022, due to a combination of Hoodite overconfidence, preoccupation with grifter plans, and poor aerial reconnaissance due to totally unexpected bad Canberra weather.

Bosilini's initial attack may involve 5 million men, just over 1,400 utes, Toyota Hiluxes, and second-hand camo gear; 2,600 air horns; and a lot of stolen valour, as well as large numbers of other armored fighting vehicles (AFVs).

Both sides have threatened to use [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weapon_of_mass_destruction weaponised vaccinations].

[[Joel Gilmour|Joel]] may be seen wandering the battlefield searching for his car.

The battle may be postponed while the main incursion [[Operation Sovereign Storm]] is underway.

[[File:Download.jpg|thumb|One of Saddam Insane's drone flyovers captured at EPIC. Taking the meaning of the General Atomics MQ-1 '''Predator''' drone to a whole new level.|none]]

==United Nations (Illuminati) intervention==
[[File:UnitedNations.jpeg|thumb|Notice from the United Nations demanding a cessation in hostilities by Sunday 13 February 2022.|none]]
On 11 February 2022, the ACT Government, under orders from the United Nations, who were under orders from the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rothschild_family World Bank], air dropped notices around EPIC demanding that both sides immediately cease hostilities and vacate the grounds by 13 February 2022. Admiral Hood refused to recognise the authority of the World Bank, or any corporation. Bosilini laughed off the Government's threats, noting that after the weekend he'd be the Government.

President Putin [https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-02-10/russia-continues-to-send-forces-to-ukraine-border-pentagon/100818492 amassed 100,000 troops] at its border with Ukraine, as Russia prepares to invade the country in order to prevent the NATO invasion of Camp EPIC.

==Initial Bosilini assault==
[[File:DigInBoys.jpg|thumb|Bosilini's forces, the 6th Absolutely Positively Cooked Army, conduct an initial assault.|none]]
On 12 February 2022 at 05:30, Bosilini's forces plan to begin an assault with a massive, 90-minute honking barrage using 1,600 cars across a 5-kilometer front on Admiral Hood's troops facing the 6th Absolutely Positively Cooked Army.

An estimated 1.4 million cars had arrived on February 11 2022 to form the Cookers Reserve, but due to a large amount of alcohol, biccies, and other illicit substances, they did not make it to the initial battle on February 12. More conservative estimates place this at around 300 cars, most of which were denied entry to EPIC when the arrived, and the drunken gronks inside the camp proceeded to interfere with police operations. Thankfully, the McDonalds truck was permitted entry to restock the EPIC gourmet dining option.

Bruce Paix

2022-02-12T04:10:39Z

GronkSideshow: /* Personal life */

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{CookerInfoBox
| image = [[File:Brucepaix.jpg]]
| age = Boomer
| gender = Male
| occupation = None now; former anaesthetist and air force gronk
| location = Adelaide
| height = manlet
| weight = 80kg, from carnivore diet
| affiliations = FRANZCA, who likely will cancel his fellowship now; AHPRA registration MED0000972407
}}
Would you let him put you to sleep?

Bruce Richard Paix is a former anaesthetist who drank the Koolaid instead of the usual anaethetist occupations of doing soduko or day trading whilst their patient is asleep. At no time has he cared for a patient with COVID, though he claims to have been to "many houses full of COVID patients" without being affected. He attributes this to the use of high-dose vitamins and a carnavore diet.

He was also a former Air Force stooge. He claims to be a "war veteran", having chosen an office job in the most cushy of armed forces. It is unclear whether he actually has even fired a weapon, or can fly a plane.

He resigned from his hospital position after he believed in the [[Cooker]] nonsense surrounding COVID, since he cannot practice outside a hospital. He was escorted out of the hospital on this day by security guards, and on that same day, he resigned his airforce position as well.

= The Airport Incident =

Bruce drove his clapped-out truck from Adelaide to join the protests in Canberra. He claims that he was simply lost in Canberra, and arrived at the airport with no clear idea where he was trying to go, despite quite adequate signage. He claims that he saw somebody in high-visibility clothing blocking the road, and immediately his "trauma" experience kicked in, and rather than follow the instructions of the traffic controller, assumed that they were asking him to assist in an accident. He was unaware that this person was a traffic controller, since "we don't have those in South Australia", and continued to drive slowly towards the traffic controller as they moved to block him from proceeding any further. He then struck the traffic controller with his car, and was arrested on site for dangerous driving, a claim he weakly denies.

He was transferred to the Alexander Maconochie Centre (AMC, though incorrectly reported by his daughter [Heather_Paix|Heather] during a livestream with one of the gronks as the "ACM"), where he was placed in quarantine due to his likelihood of having contracted COVID from his exposure in camp. He appeared in the ACT Magistrates Court the next day, pleaded not guilty to the charges, but refused the bail conditions which required him to leave the ACT and not participate in the gronkfest. He felt this condition was too draconian, and decided to return to AMC until his next hearing on 11 February 2022. He went on a personal hunger strike whilst in prison, though the mainstream media did not even mention his name during this time, making his martyrdom somewhat irrelevant.

He appeared by video link to a second hearing on 11 February 2022. At that time, the bail conditions were reduced to him not being able to drive within the ACT unless it is to the court house, a condition which he accepted.

He returned to [Kamp Krusty|Camp_EPIC] standing unrestrained on the back of the truck used by [Tami_Jane|Tami] during her recent tour of the Mainstream Media centres of the ACT, and received a hero's welcome. Several live-streaming gronks then interviewed him, where he recited the usual Cooker mantra regarding vaccines, ivermectin and other similar nonsense.

= Education =

Bruce somehow earned a Bachelor of Medicine/Bachelor of Surgery (MBBS) from the University of Adelaide in 1988. Following several years as a hospital resident, he chose to devote his life to putting people to sleep, and was admitted as a fellow of the Australian and New Zealand College of Anaesthetists (ANZCA) in 2000.

It is important to note that, it has taken him 12 years to achieve what most other doctors can achieve in 8 years.

= Personal life =

He is married to his wife Susan, and has a daughter [[Heather_Paix|Heather Paix]]. His wife and daughter run the [https://www.patchworkparkequestriancentre.com/ Patchwork Park Equestiran Centre], and a very interesting interview with them can be [https://www.thetrots.com.au/hero/retrainers/susan-and-heather-paix/ found online]. Paternity has not been confirmed.

He wears a hat from the Sydney 2000 Olympics, covered in pins he has collected from his adventures around the world. It is believed that this hat smells bad.

[[Riccardo_Bosi|Ricardo Bosi]] stated during one of his classic rants (after everybody had gone home lat on Saturday 12 February 2022) that he will be hunting all people with white hats. Bruce is believed to be quite scared by this claim.

Bruce Paix

2022-02-12T04:09:32Z

GronkSideshow:

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{CookerInfoBox
| image = [[File:Brucepaix.jpg]]
| age = Boomer
| gender = Male
| occupation = None now; former anaesthetist and air force gronk
| location = Adelaide
| height = manlet
| weight = 80kg, from carnivore diet
| affiliations = FRANZCA, who likely will cancel his fellowship now; AHPRA registration MED0000972407
}}
Would you let him put you to sleep?

Bruce Richard Paix is a former anaesthetist who drank the Koolaid instead of the usual anaethetist occupations of doing soduko or day trading whilst their patient is asleep. At no time has he cared for a patient with COVID, though he claims to have been to "many houses full of COVID patients" without being affected. He attributes this to the use of high-dose vitamins and a carnavore diet.

He was also a former Air Force stooge. He claims to be a "war veteran", having chosen an office job in the most cushy of armed forces. It is unclear whether he actually has even fired a weapon, or can fly a plane.

He resigned from his hospital position after he believed in the [[Cooker]] nonsense surrounding COVID, since he cannot practice outside a hospital. He was escorted out of the hospital on this day by security guards, and on that same day, he resigned his airforce position as well.

= The Airport Incident =

Bruce drove his clapped-out truck from Adelaide to join the protests in Canberra. He claims that he was simply lost in Canberra, and arrived at the airport with no clear idea where he was trying to go, despite quite adequate signage. He claims that he saw somebody in high-visibility clothing blocking the road, and immediately his "trauma" experience kicked in, and rather than follow the instructions of the traffic controller, assumed that they were asking him to assist in an accident. He was unaware that this person was a traffic controller, since "we don't have those in South Australia", and continued to drive slowly towards the traffic controller as they moved to block him from proceeding any further. He then struck the traffic controller with his car, and was arrested on site for dangerous driving, a claim he weakly denies.

He was transferred to the Alexander Maconochie Centre (AMC, though incorrectly reported by his daughter [Heather_Paix|Heather] during a livestream with one of the gronks as the "ACM"), where he was placed in quarantine due to his likelihood of having contracted COVID from his exposure in camp. He appeared in the ACT Magistrates Court the next day, pleaded not guilty to the charges, but refused the bail conditions which required him to leave the ACT and not participate in the gronkfest. He felt this condition was too draconian, and decided to return to AMC until his next hearing on 11 February 2022. He went on a personal hunger strike whilst in prison, though the mainstream media did not even mention his name during this time, making his martyrdom somewhat irrelevant.

He appeared by video link to a second hearing on 11 February 2022. At that time, the bail conditions were reduced to him not being able to drive within the ACT unless it is to the court house, a condition which he accepted.

He returned to [Kamp Krusty|Camp_EPIC] standing unrestrained on the back of the truck used by [Tami_Jane|Tami] during her recent tour of the Mainstream Media centres of the ACT, and received a hero's welcome. Several live-streaming gronks then interviewed him, where he recited the usual Cooker mantra regarding vaccines, ivermectin and other similar nonsense.

= Education =

Bruce somehow earned a Bachelor of Medicine/Bachelor of Surgery (MBBS) from the University of Adelaide in 1988. Following several years as a hospital resident, he chose to devote his life to putting people to sleep, and was admitted as a fellow of the Australian and New Zealand College of Anaesthetists (ANZCA) in 2000.

It is important to note that, it has taken him 12 years to achieve what most other doctors can achieve in 8 years.

= Personal life =

He is married to his wife Susan, and has a daughter [[Heather_Paix|Heather Paix]]. His wife and daughter run the [https://www.patchworkparkequestriancentre.com/ Patchwork Park Equestiran Centre], and a very interesting interview with them can be [https://www.thetrots.com.au/hero/retrainers/susan-and-heather-paix/ found online]. Paternity has not been confirmed.

He wears a hat from the Sydney 2000 Olympics, covered in pins he has collected from his adventures around the world. It is believed that this hat smells bad. [[Ricardo_Bosi Ricardo Bosi]] stated that he will be hunting all people with white hats. Bruce is believed to be quite scared by this claim.

Bruce Paix

2022-02-12T03:42:12Z

GronkSideshow:

File:Brucepaix.jpg

2022-02-12T03:41:30Z

GronkSideshow: Look at that mo!

== Summary ==
Look at that mo!

Bruce Paix

2022-02-12T03:38:39Z

GronkSideshow: Added cooker info box

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{CookerInfoBox
| image =
| age = Boomer
| gender = Male
| occupation = None now; former anaesthetist and air force gronk
| location = Adelaide
| height = manlet
| weight = 80kg, from carnivore diet
| affiliations = FRANZCA, who likely will cancel his fellowship now; AHPRA registration MED0000972407
}}
Would you let him put you to sleep?

Bruce Richard Paix is a former anaesthetist who drank the Koolaid instead of the usual anaethetist occupations of doing soduko or day trading whilst their patient is asleep. At no time has he cared for a patient with COVID, though he claims to have been to "many houses full of COVID patients" without being affected. He attributes this to the use of high-dose vitamins and a carnavore diet.

He was also a former Air Force stooge. He claims to be a "war veteran", having chosen an office job in the most cushy of armed forces. It is unclear whether he actually has even fired a weapon, or can fly a plane.

He resigned from his hospital position after he believed in the [[Cooker]] nonsense surrounding COVID, since he cannot practice outside a hospital. He was escorted out of the hospital on this day by security guards, and on that same day, he resigned his airforce position as well.

= The Airport Incident =

Bruce drove his clapped-out truck from Adelaide to join the protests in Canberra. He claims that he was simply lost in Canberra, and arrived at the airport with no clear idea where he was trying to go, despite quite adequate signage. He claims that he saw somebody in high-visibility clothing blocking the road, and immediately his "trauma" experience kicked in, and rather than follow the instructions of the traffic controller, assumed that they were asking him to assist in an accident. He was unaware that this person was a traffic controller, since "we don't have those in South Australia", and continued to drive slowly towards the traffic controller as they moved to block him from proceeding any further. He then struck the traffic controller with his car, and was arrested on site for dangerous driving, a claim he weakly denies.

He was transferred to the Alexander Maconochie Centre (AMC, though incorrectly reported by his daughter [Heather_Paix|Heather] during a livestream with one of the gronks as the "ACM"), where he was placed in quarantine due to his likelihood of having contracted COVID from his exposure in camp. He appeared in the ACT Magistrates Court the next day, pleaded not guilty to the charges, but refused the bail conditions which required him to leave the ACT and not participate in the gronkfest. He felt this condition was too draconian, and decided to return to AMC until his next hearing on 11 February 2022. He went on a personal hunger strike whilst in prison, though the mainstream media did not even mention his name during this time, making his martyrdom somewhat irrelevant.

He appeared by video link to a second hearing on 11 February 2022. At that time, the bail conditions were reduced to him not being able to drive within the ACT unless it is to the court house, a condition which he accepted.

He returned to [Kamp Krusty|Camp_EPIC] standing unrestrained on the back of the truck used by [Tami_Jane|Tami] during her recent tour of the Mainstream Media centres of the ACT, and received a hero's welcome. Several live-streaming gronks then interviewed him, where he recited the usual Cooker mantra regarding vaccines, ivermectin and other similar nonsense.

= Education =

Bruce somehow earned a Bachelor of Medicine/Bachelor of Surgery (MBBS) from the University of Adelaide in 1988. Following several years as a hospital resident, he chose to devote his life to putting people to sleep, and was admitted as a fellow of the Australian and New Zealand College of Anaesthetists (ANZCA) in 2000.

It is important to note that, it has taken him 12 years to achieve what most other doctors can achieve in 8 years.

= Personal life =

He is married to his wife Susan, and has a daughter [[Heather_Paix|Heather Paix]]. His wife and daughter run the [https://www.patchworkparkequestriancentre.com/ Patchwork Park Equestiran Centre], and a very interesting interview with them can be [https://www.thetrots.com.au/hero/retrainers/susan-and-heather-paix/ found online]. Paternity has not been confirmed.

He wears a hat from the Sydney 2000 Olympics, covered in pins he has collected from his adventures around the world. It is believed that this hat smells bad.

Bruce Paix

2022-02-12T03:34:07Z

GronkSideshow: Created page with "Bruce Richard Paix is a former anaesthetist who drank the Koolaid instead of the usual anaethetist occupations of doing soduko or day trading whilst their patient is asleep. At no time has he cared for a patient with COVID, though he claims to have been to "many houses full of COVID patients" without being affected. He attributes this to the use of high-dose vitamins and a carnavore diet. He was also a former Air Force stooge. He claims to be a "war veteran", having ch..."

Bruce Richard Paix is a former anaesthetist who drank the Koolaid instead of the usual anaethetist occupations of doing soduko or day trading whilst their patient is asleep. At no time has he cared for a patient with COVID, though he claims to have been to "many houses full of COVID patients" without being affected. He attributes this to the use of high-dose vitamins and a carnavore diet.

He was also a former Air Force stooge. He claims to be a "war veteran", having chosen an office job in the most cushy of armed forces. It is unclear whether he actually has even fired a weapon, or can fly a plane.

He resigned from his hospital position after he believed in the [[Cooker]] nonsense surrounding COVID, since he cannot practice outside a hospital. He was escorted out of the hospital on this day by security guards, and on that same day, he resigned his airforce position as well.

= The Airport Incident =

Bruce drove his clapped-out truck from Adelaide to join the protests in Canberra. He claims that he was simply lost in Canberra, and arrived at the airport with no clear idea where he was trying to go, despite quite adequate signage. He claims that he saw somebody in high-visibility clothing blocking the road, and immediately his "trauma" experience kicked in, and rather than follow the instructions of the traffic controller, assumed that they were asking him to assist in an accident. He was unaware that this person was a traffic controller, since "we don't have those in South Australia", and continued to drive slowly towards the traffic controller as they moved to block him from proceeding any further. He then struck the traffic controller with his car, and was arrested on site for dangerous driving, a claim he weakly denies.

He was transferred to the Alexander Maconochie Centre (AMC, though incorrectly reported by his daughter [Heather_Paix|Heather] during a livestream with one of the gronks as the "ACM"), where he was placed in quarantine due to his likelihood of having contracted COVID from his exposure in camp. He appeared in the ACT Magistrates Court the next day, pleaded not guilty to the charges, but refused the bail conditions which required him to leave the ACT and not participate in the gronkfest. He felt this condition was too draconian, and decided to return to AMC until his next hearing on 11 February 2022. He went on a personal hunger strike whilst in prison, though the mainstream media did not even mention his name during this time, making his martyrdom somewhat irrelevant.

He appeared by video link to a second hearing on 11 February 2022. At that time, the bail conditions were reduced to him not being able to drive within the ACT unless it is to the court house, a condition which he accepted.

He returned to [Kamp Krusty|Camp_EPIC] standing unrestrained on the back of the truck used by [Tami_Jane|Tami] during her recent tour of the Mainstream Media centres of the ACT, and received a hero's welcome. Several live-streaming gronks then interviewed him, where he recited the usual Cooker mantra regarding vaccines, ivermectin and other similar nonsense.

= Education =

Bruce somehow earned a Bachelor of Medicine/Bachelor of Surgery (MBBS) from the University of Adelaide in 1988. Following several years as a hospital resident, he chose to devote his life to putting people to sleep, and was admitted as a fellow of the Australian and New Zealand College of Anaesthetists (ANZCA) in 2000.

It is important to note that, it has taken him 12 years to achieve what most other doctors can achieve in 8 years.

= Personal life =

He is married to his wife Susan, and has a daughter [[Heather_Paix|Heather Paix]]. His wife and daughter run the [https://www.patchworkparkequestriancentre.com/ Patchwork Park Equestiran Centre], and a very interesting interview with them can be [https://www.thetrots.com.au/hero/retrainers/susan-and-heather-paix/ found online]. Paternity has not been confirmed.

He wears a hat from the Sydney 2000 Olympics, covered in pins he has collected from his adventures around the world. It is believed that this hat smells bad.

Cooker

2022-02-12T03:03:29Z

GronkSideshow: /* Dunning-Kreuger Effect */

Cookers consist of people who believe a wide range of conspiracy theories, whether mainstream or fringe.

Multiple definitions of the term Cooker can be found on [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cooker Urban Dictionary], though none really capture the true nature of the Cooker as demonstrated during the Conn-voy to Kambra 2022.

''We welcome further edits to this topic to expand the various aspects of this definition.''

== Background ==

Most cookers appear to have been formerly employed in low- to middle-income careers, and of at least below-average intelligence and of limited education. There are several outliers, of people who are of average intelligence, though importantly, '''this list does not include''':
* [[Bruce_Paix|Dr Bruce Paix]], a cooker anaesthetist who drank the online kool-aid, having not looked after a single person with COVID, nor read a single journal article about COVID, and certainly having not a single clue about medical statistics.
* [[John_Larter|The LARPing Ambo]], who lost his court case against the NSW Ambulance Service for his cooker ideas (yet still lives in government-funded accomodation at the Tumut ambulance station).
* [[Graham_Hood|Captain Dementia]], the porn addict-turned pilot-turned king of the cookers, who left school at 13 and yet is was allowed to fly people around the world. It is unclear what percentage of his flights he spent buzzed from rumbos in the pilot's lounge before the flight.

== Dunning-Kreuger Effect ==

The Dunning–Kruger effect is the cognitive bias whereby people with low ability at a task overestimate their ability. Some researchers also include in their definition the opposite effect for high performers: their tendency to underestimate their skills [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect]. This phenomenon is universally shared with these cookers, especially those who have worked in health fields. Those who work in quack-associated "health" fields are even more susceptible to this, and it is suspected that this may be a universal feature in this demographic.

However, even "everyday mums and dads" these days are experts in virology, epidemiology, vaccine development, and developmental psychology, thanks to their use of Facebook. Most of their information has been distributed using the "share" function, and at least 30% of their misinformation comes in the forms of Minions memes.

== Livestreaming ==

The February 12 "insurrection" has demonstrated that most cookers will live-stream their presence throughout the various social media networks which many cookers are protesting against. So much so that the larger live-streamers have had difficulty streaming the events themselves, which has in turn made laughing at the cookers from online quite difficult.

This use of the technology (which tracks their every movement and their online habits) is deeply entwined with their catch-cry "If it's not live-streamed, it didn't happen".

== Interacting with the Cookers ==

Interestingly, unlike the the remainder of the population, who generally can conduct a civil debate, the vast majority of cookers have fixed thinking about all issues they feel strongly about. Even in the face of clear, concise and un-refutable evidence, they find the mere possibility of changing their mind about something abhorrent, and will quickly turn any discussion or debate into petty name-calling, or as recently demonstrated by the cooker [1andonlyree] (who is currently in hospital, presumably from buthurt?), rhetoric and other nonsense.

It is recommended that, upon encountering a cooker, that one simply ignore them. This will not only deflate their Main Character Syndrome, but will also protect your brain from becoming cooked.

== Treatment ==

Unfortunately, it appears that becoming a cooker is a terminal condition. No research has been conducted to support any therapy or medications, though it is believed that getting vaccinated may help prevent worsening of the condition.

Complementary or alternative therapies have been shown to worsen the cooker.

Cooker

2022-02-12T02:59:08Z

GronkSideshow:

Cookers consist of people who believe a wide range of conspiracy theories, whether mainstream or fringe.

Multiple definitions of the term Cooker can be found on [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cooker Urban Dictionary], though none really capture the true nature of the Cooker as demonstrated during the Conn-voy to Kambra 2022.

''We welcome further edits to this topic to expand the various aspects of this definition.''

== Background ==

Most cookers appear to have been formerly employed in low- to middle-income careers, and of at least below-average intelligence and of limited education. There are several outliers, of people who are of average intelligence, though importantly, '''this list does not include''':
* [[Bruce_Paix|Dr Bruce Paix]], a cooker anaesthetist who drank the online kool-aid, having not looked after a single person with COVID, nor read a single journal article about COVID, and certainly having not a single clue about medical statistics.
* [[John_Larter|The LARPing Ambo]], who lost his court case against the NSW Ambulance Service for his cooker ideas (yet still lives in government-funded accomodation at the Tumut ambulance station).
* [[Graham_Hood|Captain Dementia]], the porn addict-turned pilot-turned king of the cookers, who left school at 13 and yet is was allowed to fly people around the world. It is unclear what percentage of his flights he spent buzzed from rumbos in the pilot's lounge before the flight.

== Dunning-Kreuger Effect ==

The Dunning–Kruger effect is the cognitive bias whereby people with low ability at a task overestimate their ability. Some researchers also include in their definition the opposite effect for high performers: their tendency to underestimate their skills [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect]. This phenomenon is universally shared with these cookers, especially those who have worked in health fields. Those who work in quack-associated medical-associated "health" fields are even more susceptible to this.

However, even "everyday mums and dads" these days are experts in virology, epidemiology, vaccine development, and developmental psychology, thanks to their use of Facebook. Most of their information has been distributed using the "share" function, and at least 30% of their misinformation comes in the forms of Minions memes.

== Livestreaming ==

The February 12 "insurrection" has demonstrated that most cookers will live-stream their presence throughout the various social media networks which many cookers are protesting against. So much so that the larger live-streamers have had difficulty streaming the events themselves, which has in turn made laughing at the cookers from online quite difficult.

This use of the technology (which tracks their every movement and their online habits) is deeply entwined with their catch-cry "If it's not live-streamed, it didn't happen".

== Interacting with the Cookers ==

Interestingly, unlike the the remainder of the population, who generally can conduct a civil debate, the vast majority of cookers have fixed thinking about all issues they feel strongly about. Even in the face of clear, concise and un-refutable evidence, they find the mere possibility of changing their mind about something abhorrent, and will quickly turn any discussion or debate into petty name-calling, or as recently demonstrated by the cooker [1andonlyree] (who is currently in hospital, presumably from buthurt?), rhetoric and other nonsense.

It is recommended that, upon encountering a cooker, that one simply ignore them. This will not only deflate their Main Character Syndrome, but will also protect your brain from becoming cooked.

== Treatment ==

Unfortunately, it appears that becoming a cooker is a terminal condition. No research has been conducted to support any therapy or medications, though it is believed that getting vaccinated may help prevent worsening of the condition.

Complementary or alternative therapies have been shown to worsen the cooker.

Cooker

2022-02-12T02:58:08Z

GronkSideshow: Created page with "Multiple definitions of the term Cooker can be found on [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cooker Urban Dictionary], though none really capture the true nature of the Cooker as demonstrated during the Conn-voy to Kambra 2022. ''We welcome further edits to this topic to expand the various aspects of this definition.'' == Background == Most cookers appear to have been formerly employed in low- to middle-income careers, and of at least below-average intel..."

Multiple definitions of the term Cooker can be found on [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cooker Urban Dictionary], though none really capture the true nature of the Cooker as demonstrated during the Conn-voy to Kambra 2022.

''We welcome further edits to this topic to expand the various aspects of this definition.''

== Background ==

Most cookers appear to have been formerly employed in low- to middle-income careers, and of at least below-average intelligence and of limited education. There are several outliers, of people who are of average intelligence, though importantly, '''this list does not include''':
* [[Bruce_Paix|Dr Bruce Paix]], a cooker anaesthetist who drank the online kool-aid, having not looked after a single person with COVID, nor read a single journal article about COVID, and certainly having not a single clue about medical statistics.
* [[John_Larter|The LARPing Ambo]], who lost his court case against the NSW Ambulance Service for his cooker ideas (yet still lives in government-funded accomodation at the Tumut ambulance station).
* [[Graham_Hood|Captain Dementia]], the porn addict-turned pilot-turned king of the cookers, who left school at 13 and yet is was allowed to fly people around the world. It is unclear what percentage of his flights he spent buzzed from rumbos in the pilot's lounge before the flight.

== Dunning-Kreuger Effect ==

The Dunning–Kruger effect is the cognitive bias whereby people with low ability at a task overestimate their ability. Some researchers also include in their definition the opposite effect for high performers: their tendency to underestimate their skills [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect]. This phenomenon is universally shared with these cookers, especially those who have worked in health fields. Those who work in quack-associated medical-associated "health" fields are even more susceptible to this.

However, even "everyday mums and dads" these days are experts in virology, epidemiology, vaccine development, and developmental psychology, thanks to their use of Facebook. Most of their information has been distributed using the "share" function, and at least 30% of their misinformation comes in the forms of Minions memes.

== Livestreaming ==

The February 12 "insurrection" has demonstrated that most cookers will live-stream their presence throughout the various social media networks which many cookers are protesting against. So much so that the larger live-streamers have had difficulty streaming the events themselves, which has in turn made laughing at the cookers from online quite difficult.

This use of the technology (which tracks their every movement and their online habits) is deeply entwined with their catch-cry "If it's not live-streamed, it didn't happen".

== Interacting with the Cookers ==

Interestingly, unlike the the remainder of the population, who generally can conduct a civil debate, the vast majority of cookers have fixed thinking about all issues they feel strongly about. Even in the face of clear, concise and un-refutable evidence, they find the mere possibility of changing their mind about something abhorrent, and will quickly turn any discussion or debate into petty name-calling, or as recently demonstrated by the cooker [1andonlyree] (who is currently in hospital, presumably from buthurt?), rhetoric and other nonsense.

It is recommended that, upon encountering a cooker, that one simply ignore them. This will not only deflate their Main Character Syndrome, but will also protect your brain from becoming cooked.

== Treatment ==

Unfortunately, it appears that becoming a cooker is a terminal condition. No research has been conducted to support any therapy or medications, though it is believed that getting vaccinated may help prevent worsening of the condition.

Complementary or alternative therapies have been shown to worsen the cooker.

Folding chairs

2022-02-12T02:06:08Z

GronkSideshow: /* Other Camping Equipment */

Folding chairs weapon of freedom for the elderly boomer gronk. Due to years of oppression (despite a free education), causing osteoarthritis of the hips or knees, they have underwent free surgery for joint replacement, paid for by hard-working taxpayers. Now, as their Panadol Osteo supply runs short in [[Camp_EPIC|Kamp Krusty]], they are unable to stand and protest for more than a few minutes at a time. Thus, a folding chair allows them to voice their concerns against the whichever argument they believe in, whilst remaining comfortable and at a distance from the more angry gronks up front.

= Acquiring the folding chair =
Depending on their income, they will purchase a chair from their preferred bogan store of choice. BCF sell a wide range of cheaper and premium folding chairs, Bunnings have a smaller range but more budget options, and the Reject Shop (or similar stores) sell those which, due to their low cost and poor quality, can additionally be used as physical weapons, or simply left behind for somebody else to clean up after them.

= Use of a folding chair =
Early in the [[We_shall_fight_them_with_our_speeches|speech war]] against an empty building in the parliamentary triangle, the elderly gronks established themselves close to the stage (in case their government-funded hearing aids were to run out of batteries after listening to their videos earlier in the morning). They also established small campsites along the Federall Mall, out of harms way. As the crowds gradually streamed in after a big night of boozing at [[Camp_EPIC|Kamp Krusty]], they were forced out and, due to their infamously weak bladders and type 2 diabetes mellitus, were seen wandering back towards public toilets shortly after the [[We_shall_fight_them_with_our_speeches|rambling speeches]] started mentioning the First Nation's people.

Although the events of February 12 have not concluded, it is anticipated that there will be a significant number of disposable folding chairs left on the grounds, if they have not already been used as battering rams to break through the front doors of the Australian Parliament House.

= Other Camping Equipment =
A variety of other camping equipment has been sighted throughout the insurrection. These include:
* Beach umbrellas (preferrably showing the Australia flag)
* Beach shelters
* Trolleys for carrying your poor dog or brainwashed children
* Umbrellas from Bunnings™

Folding chairs

2022-02-12T01:56:31Z

GronkSideshow: Created page with "Folding chairs weapon of freedom for the elderly boomer gronk. Due to years of oppression (despite a free education), causing osteoarthritis of the hips or knees, they have underwent free surgery for joint replacement, paid for by hard-working taxpayers. Now, as their Panadol Osteo supply runs short in Kamp Krusty, they are unable to stand and protest for more than a few minutes at a time. Thus, a folding chair allows them to voice their concerns against th..."

Camp EPIC

2022-02-11T23:28:42Z

GronkSideshow: /* System of Government */

{{Camp EPIC
| image = [File:478182b6b9c708b4034560eee65123abc05d0fd0.jpg]
| location = Canberra, ACT
| founded = February 2022
| population = 5 Billion (50,000 MCGs)
| Leader/s = Contested
}}

Camp EPIC (AKA Camp Cooker, EPIC) was established in early February 2022 to house antivax refugees from all over Australia. Outside of its current occupation, Exhibition Park in Canberra’s camping facilities are set on 70 hectares of unique country surroundings only 8 minutes north of the city centre and offer:

- Full amenities including showers, toilets and laundry
- Powered and un-powered sites with access to water
- Quiet location
- Pet friendly
- Public transport services
- Farmers market every Saturday morning
- Large drive through grass sites for caravans and motor-homes
- Grey water and black water dump points
- Exhibition Park in Canberra is home to many local and national events all year round including exhibitions, fairs and festivals.

==History==

===Early Occupation===
EPIC was picked as the Cooker Chosen Land due to it's close proximity to Parliament House, Canberra's SBS Studio and the Lifeline Book Fair. In the early days of occupation, plans for the cookers to move into EPIC were almost foiled by a traffic controller with suspected links to the Illuminati and NWO blocking off the turning lane. It was later discovered that this was part of scheduled roadworks (ordered by the Illuminati NWO Agenda 21).

The EPIC greeting party is comprised of six bogans, a girl on roller skates and a pig. All of whom clap and cheer as cars enter the settlement.

===Attempted coup d'état===
* The occupation of Camp EPIC was necessitated following a failed coup attempt led by Melbourne based Antivaxx Influencer [[Harrison McLean| Harrison "Dumb Cunt" McLean]].

* Prior to the occupation of Camp Epic, the cookers established a makeshift camp on the lawns of the Pattrick White Terrace [citation needed], adjacent to the National Library of Australia. The Dumb Cunt was an ambitious asshole. After taking over the movement's virtual infrastructure on telegram, zello and online posters, the Dumb Cunt made his moved to oust the sovcit leadership at the camp. The attempted coup was discovered and foiled by the sovcits. the Dumb Cunt and his crew were ousted from the Pattrick White Terrace camp in the evening of 3 February 2022.

* The Dumb Cunt retreated and established a secondary camp in Camp EPIC. Following the retreat, the Dumb Cunt retaliated against the sovcits by reporting to the police that the [[James Greer|Sovcit leader]] was carrying an unlicensed gun in his mobile home. This led to the police to launch an assault on the Patrick White camp and the arrest of the sovcit leader in the morning of 4 February 2022.

* After the eviction from the Patrick White Terrace by the Police forces, the sovcits had nowhere to go and drove around the ACT seeking refuge. The normies refused to take them in, while the Dumb Cunt closed the boom gates to Camp EPIC. Following the threat of another invasion by the Police Force, the Dumb Cunt finally conceded and opened the gates for the sovcits to join them at Camp EPIC.

* The Sovcits established command and control of Camp EPIC thanks to the size of its convoy and the $180,000 GFM account (which was later returned to sender). the Dumb Cunt fled Camp EPIC back to Victoria, fearing for his life. Unproven reports have indicated that the Dumb Cunt had slipped back into Camp EPIC in the evening of 11 February 2022 via an unmarked vehicle. Members of public are advised to be on a lookout for a dumb cunt looking person wearing an ugly pair of sunnies and holding a giant flagpole.

===Battle of EPIC===
''Main Page: [[Battle_of_EPIC]]''

The Battle of EPIC, also known as the Cooker Offensive, is an ongoing conflict in the battlefields of EPIC Campground in Canberra, Australia; between [[Graham Hood|Admiral 'Captain Hoody' Hood]] , and [[Riccardo Bosi|General Riccardo 'Il Douche' Bosi]]. The struggle is primarily centered on whether Camp EPIC should execute politicians, or baptise them.

==System of Government==
At time of writing, the current leader/s of EPIC are unclear, as they change on a daily basis. Whoever holds the microphone during their nightly meeting is able to command the residents, or read bad poetry. The nightly meeting has been affectionately referred to as 'Open Mic Night'. However, it is mandatory for the speaker to claim to not be the leader, despite clearly telling people what to do. [[Graham_Hood|Captain Dementia]] popularised this during his time leading the cookers, but most of the Hall of Fame have employed this as well.

==Crime==
EPIC is rife with crime with reports of syringes being found in public toilets, stolen trailers and exposed rib cages being frequent.

Although not illegal, it is thought that many unvaxxed sperms were deposited into the pure blood freedom fighters using traditional methods on a nightly basis. Thus ensuring the legacy of these idiots will continue, at least for another generation.

== Dog cage Glory Holes==

It is unsure when they resorted too base methods to fund this ongoing conflict. Some sources indicate fairly early on in their occupation of EPIC citing 'in the epic economy $20 dollars is literally a million dollars'. First out break of CRD's (convoy related diseases) were spotted easily on journalist faces.

Graham Hood

2022-02-11T03:59:12Z

GronkSideshow: /* Mini-mental state examination (MMSE) */

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{CookerInfoBox
| image = [[File:AdmiralHood.jpg]]
| age = 72
| gender = Male Conforming
| location = Sydney, Australia
| occupation = Admiral (ret)
| height = 5'4"
| weight = 55kg
| affiliations = Freemasons, Hillsong
| aliases = Hoody, the Admiral
| instagram = idk
| facebook = idk
| telegram = idk
}}
Admiral (ret) Graham Archibald Theodore Hood, also known as the Admiral, is a former self confessed porn addict and freelance author, from Sydney, Australia. He has been accused of being controlled opposition and threatened to quit the protests on several occasions. Despite these continued setbacks, he is the reluctant leader of Camp Cooker (despite staying in his own private accommodation).

Never far away from a mention of God, Hoody expressed his interest in baptising people in a speech to the motley crew at Camp Cooker.

{{Quote
|“My name is Graham [...] and my struggle is pornography.”
|Graham Hood|The Hidden Battle: Breaking Free 
}}
==[[Battle of EPIC]]==
Admiral Hood is currently involved in a leadership struggle against his archnemesis and Camp Cooker Insurrectionist-in-Chief, [[Riccardo Bosi|Riccardo Bosilini]], and his sidekick 'the Guru'. Drone swarms, under the command of Admiral Hood, have allegedly conducted flyovers of Camp Cooker during Bosi's morning briefings, in order to gather intelligence. They have not been successful.

Unmarked vehicles, equipped with radiation weapons, have also been sighted near the front of Camp Cooker. It is not known whether they are acting under the orders of Admiral Hood.

==Double agent allegations==
Rumours have been heard throughout the EPIC camp that Hoody is in fact, a Hillsong plant, actively working for Scott Morrison to sew discord amongst the movement.

==Mini-mental state examination (MMSE)==
Due to incoherent rambling, this [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mini%E2%80%93Mental_State_Examination Mini Mental State Examination] has been performed during his Karnaval of Kourage tour as part of the Conn-voy to Kambrah, 2022.
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Category
! Possible points
! Score
|-
| Orientation to time
| 5
| 2
|-
| Orientation to place
| 5
| 1
|-
| Registration
| 3
| 2
|-
| Attention and calculation
| 5
| 1
|-
| Recall
| 3
| 2
|-
| Language
| 2
| 2
|-
| Repetition
| 1
| 4*
|-
| Complex commands
| 6
| 2
|}

Several independent assessors have given him an average score of 4/1 (range 2-7) for repetition. Despite this, he has scored 16/30, which makes the diagnosis of dementia highly likely.

Graham Hood

2022-02-11T03:57:34Z

GronkSideshow: Added MMSE assessment

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{CookerInfoBox
| image = [[File:AdmiralHood.jpg]]
| age = 72
| gender = Male Conforming
| location = Sydney, Australia
| occupation = Admiral (ret)
| height = 5'4"
| weight = 55kg
| affiliations = Freemasons, Hillsong
| aliases = Hoody, the Admiral
| instagram = idk
| facebook = idk
| telegram = idk
}}
Admiral (ret) Graham Archibald Theodore Hood, also known as the Admiral, is a former self confessed porn addict and freelance author, from Sydney, Australia. He has been accused of being controlled opposition and threatened to quit the protests on several occasions. Despite these continued setbacks, he is the reluctant leader of Camp Cooker (despite staying in his own private accommodation).

Never far away from a mention of God, Hoody expressed his interest in baptising people in a speech to the motley crew at Camp Cooker.

{{Quote
|“My name is Graham [...] and my struggle is pornography.”
|Graham Hood|The Hidden Battle: Breaking Free 
}}
==[[Battle of EPIC]]==
Admiral Hood is currently involved in a leadership struggle against his archnemesis and Camp Cooker Insurrectionist-in-Chief, [[Riccardo Bosi|Riccardo Bosilini]], and his sidekick 'the Guru'. Drone swarms, under the command of Admiral Hood, have allegedly conducted flyovers of Camp Cooker during Bosi's morning briefings, in order to gather intelligence. They have not been successful.

Unmarked vehicles, equipped with radiation weapons, have also been sighted near the front of Camp Cooker. It is not known whether they are acting under the orders of Admiral Hood.

==Double agent allegations==
Rumours have been heard throughout the EPIC camp that Hoody is in fact, a Hillsong plant, actively working for Scott Morrison to sew discord amongst the movement.

==Mini-mental state examination (MMSE)==
Due to incoherent rambling, this assessment has been performed during his Karnaval of Kourage tour as part of the Conn-voy to Kambrah, 2022.
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Category
! Possible points
! Score
|-
| Orientation to time
| 5
| 2
|-
| Orientation to place
| 5
| 1
|-
| Registration
| 3
| 2
|-
| Attention and calculation
| 5
| 1
|-
| Recall
| 3
| 2
|-
| Language
| 2
| 2
|-
| Repetition
| 1
| 4*
|-
| Complex commands
| 6
| 2
|}

Several independent assessors have given him an average score of 4/1 (range 2-7) for repetition. Despite this, he has scored 16/30, which makes the diagnosis of dementia highly likely.

Talk:Main Page

2022-02-11T03:36:17Z

GronkSideshow: Created page with "A stub for the peter little page has been added: https://cookerpedia.org/index.php?title=Peter_Little"

A stub for the peter little page has been added:
https://cookerpedia.org/index.php?title=Peter_Little