{{CookerWar
| name = Battle of EPIC
| image = [[File:0748 epic 021.jpg]]
| conflict = Canberra Siege
| date = February 2022 – ''present'' 
| place = EPIC Campground, Canberra, ACT, Australia
| result = Bosilini victory
| side1 = Wolves 🐺
'''Alleged support:'''

Canberra's meth dealers
| side2 = Sheep 🐑
'''Alleged support:'''

Freemasons, Undercovers
| commanders1 =
[[Riccardo Bosi|Bosi]]

[[David_%27Kanga_Guru%27_Graham |The Guru]]

[[Phil 'Hendo' Henderson]]
| commanders2 = [[Graham Hood|Admiral Hood]]

[[Harrison McLean]]

[[The Rural Rebel]]

[[warboat|WarBus]]

[[Simeon_the_Russian_Operative_Boicov|Aussie Ballsack]]
| forces1 = 5 million (Bosi estimate), 2000 (ACT police)
| forces2 = 1 million (Hood estimate), 2000 (ACT police)
| casual1 = Countless
| casual2 = Capital Region Farmers Market
}}
The '''Battle of EPIC''', also known as the '''Cooker Offensive''' or '''Operation Cooked Out''', is an [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dick-measuring_contest ongoing conflict] in the battlefields of [[Camp EPIC|EPIC Campground]] in Canberra, Australia. Both sides are in a power struggle for leadership of the EPIC camp.

Drone swarms, commanded by [[Graham Hood|Admiral Hood]], have allegedly conducted flyovers of Camp Cooker during [[Riccardo Bosi|Bosi's]] morning briefings, to gather intelligence. As of yet they have failed to find any intelligence. Unmarked vehicles, equipped with radiation weapons, have also been sighted near the front of Camp Cooker. It is not known whether they are acting under the orders of Admiral Hood.

Bosilini's forces hoped to achieve a total surprise honking on the morning of 12 February 2022, due to a combination of Hoodite overconfidence, preoccupation with grifter plans, and poor aerial reconnaissance due to totally unexpected bad Canberra weather.

Bosilini's initial attack was planned to involve 5 million men, just over 1,400 utes, Toyota Hiluxes, and second-hand camo gear; 2,600 air horns; and a lot of stolen valour, as well as large numbers of other armored fighting vehicles (AFVs).

Both sides have threatened to use [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weapon_of_mass_destruction weaponised vaccinations].

On 13 February 2022, Hoody conceded the battle of EPIC out of fear for the impending AFP forces. Bosi has declared that he will never concede, and claims that Hoody is aligned with the freemasons who also control the AFP UN police force.

[[Joel Gilmour|Joel]] may be seen wandering the battlefield searching for his car.

This battle was postponed while the main incursion, [[Operation Sovereign Storm]], was underway.

[[File:Download.jpg|thumb|One of Saddam Insane's drone flyovers captured at EPIC. Taking the meaning of the General Atomics MQ-1 '''Predator''' drone to a whole new level.|none]]

==United Nations (Illuminati) intervention==
[[File:UnitedNations.jpeg|thumb|Notice from the United Nations demanding a cessation in hostilities by Sunday 13 February 2022.|none]]
On 11 February 2022, the ACT Government, under orders from the United Nations, who were under orders from the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rothschild_family World Bank], air dropped notices around EPIC demanding that both sides immediately cease hostilities and vacate the grounds by 13 February 2022. Admiral Hood refused to recognise the authority of the World Bank, or any corporation. Bosilini laughed off the Government's threats, noting that after the weekend he'd be the Government.

President Putin [https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-02-10/russia-continues-to-send-forces-to-ukraine-border-pentagon/100818492 amassed 100,000 troops] at its border with Ukraine, as Russia prepares to invade the country in order to prevent the NATO invasion of Camp EPIC.

==Initial Bosilini assault==
[[File:DigInBoys.jpg|thumb|Bosilini's forces, the 6th Absolutely Positively Cooked Army, conduct an initial assault.|none]]
On 12 February 2022 at 05:30, Bosilini's forces planned to begin an assault with a massive, 90-minute honking barrage using 1,600 cars across a 5-kilometer front on Admiral Hood's troops facing the 6th Absolutely Positively Cooked Army.

An estimated 1.4 million cars had arrived on February 11 2022 to form the Cookers Reserve, but due to a large amount of alcohol, biccies, and other illicit substances, they did not make it to the initial battle on February 12. More conservative estimates place this at around 300 cars, most of which were denied entry to EPIC when they arrived, and the drunken gronks inside the camp proceeded to interfere with police operations. Thankfully, the McDonalds truck was permitted entry to restock the EPIC gourmet dining option.

==Casualities==

[[File:Epic-portaloo.jpg|thumb|left|The Camp EPICs makeshift Sanitary equipment provided valiant attempts but ultimately failed to survive the onslaught of a campsite who had, for 8 long days, survived of a diet consisting entirely of RICE AND FUCKIN' ONIONS.]]

Graham Hood

2022-02-13T00:40:39Z

RICCARDO-BUSSI:

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{CookerInfoBox
| image = [[File:Maskedhoody.jpg]]
| age = 72
| gender = Male Conforming
| location = Sydney, Australia
| occupation = Admiral (ret)
| height = 5'4"
| weight = 55kg
| affiliations = Freemasons, Hillsong
| aliases = Hoody, the Admiral
| instagram = idk
| facebook = https://facebook.com/grahamhoodformerpilot
| telegram = https://t.me/grahamhood
}}
Admiral (ret) Graham Archibald Theodore Hood, also known as the Admiral, is a former self confessed porn addict and freelance author, from Sydney, Australia. He has been accused of being controlled opposition and threatened to quit the protests on several occasions. Despite these continued setbacks, he is the reluctant leader of [[Camp EPIC|Camp Cooker]] (despite staying in his own private accommodation). His archnemisis is noted insurrectionist General (ret) [[Riccardo Bosi|Riccardo Bosilini]].

Never far away from a mention of God, Hoody expressed his interest in baptising people in a speech to the motley crew at Camp Cooker.

{{Quote
|“My name is Graham [...] and my struggle is pornography.”
|Graham Hood|The Hidden Battle: Breaking Free 
}}

==[[Battle of EPIC]]==
Admiral Hood is currently involved in a leadership struggle against his archnemesis and Camp Cooker Insurrectionist-in-Chief, [[Riccardo Bosi|Riccardo Bosilini]], and his sidekick 'the Guru'. Drone swarms, under the command of Admiral Hood, have allegedly conducted flyovers of Camp Cooker during Bosi's morning briefings, in order to gather intelligence. They have not been successful.

Unmarked vehicles, equipped with radiation weapons, have also been sighted near the front of Camp Cooker. It is not known whether they are acting under the orders of Admiral Hood.

==Double agent allegations==
Rumours have been heard throughout the EPIC camp that Hoody is in fact, a Hillsong plant, actively working for Scott Morrison to sow discord amongst the movement.

==Mini-mental state examination (MMSE)==
Due to incoherent rambling, this [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mini%E2%80%93Mental_State_Examination Mini Mental State Examination] has been performed during his Karnaval of Kourage tour as part of the Conn-voy to Kambrah, 2022.
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Category
! Possible points
! Score
|-
| Orientation to time
| 5
| 2
|-
| Orientation to place
| 5
| 1
|-
| Registration
| 3
| 2
|-
| Attention and calculation
| 5
| 1
|-
| Recall
| 3
| 2
|-
| Language
| 2
| 2
|-
| Repetition
| 1
| 4*
|-
| Complex commands
| 6
| 2
|}

Several independent assessors have given him an average score of 4/1 (range 2-7) for repetition. Despite this, he has scored 16/30, which makes the diagnosis of dementia highly likely.

== Personal Life ==
[[File:HoodyBeatsPornAndWife.jpg|500px|Hoody and his wife Michelle]]

Michelle Hood saved Hoody from a crippling pornography addiction. Together, they help others to turn around their addiction. It is believed that the former pilot developed this addiction whilst a pilot for Qantas, which allowed him to travel around the world to find the most depraved and horrific pornography. Thanks to Michelle, he no longer watches pornography, but has been seen to leave multiple fire emojis (🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥) on posts by instagram thots, and leave lewd messages in their inboxes.

It's unknown what sort of sick and twisted porn Hoody was addicted to, but it must have been pretty bad for him to need to turn to jesus. We're not talking vanilla stuff like incest porn, we're talking deep and dark stuff. Hoody may be one of the original coomers.

Rumour has it that it was during a no-fap November that he realised the Government is all a zionist conspiracy and the vaccines are going to turn the frogs gay.

== Story Time with Hoody ==
Story time with Hoody is a frequent occurrence when Admiral Hood gets really fired up. He recounts stories he has read in various Peter FitzSimmons 'history' books about World War One and World War Two and unfortunately, due to his dementia, has mixed up details, events and even plot points between the two wars. Story Time with Hoody usually ends with a prayer to the ANZACS to watch over them, not realising that if any ANZAC was around to see this, he would clip Hoody over the ear and tell him to man up and get vaccinated.

Riccardo Bosi

2022-02-13T00:31:44Z

RICCARDO-BUSSI: /* Definitely not a government plant */

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{CookerInfoBox
| image = [[File:BOSI.png]]
| age = 69
| gender = Male Conforming
| location = Sydney, Australia
| occupation = Little Dictator, Soldier of fortune
| height = 6'9"
| weight = 69kg
| affiliations = unknown
| aliases = Il Douche, Riccardo Bosilini
| instagram = idk
| facebook = idk
| telegram = idk
}}
Riccardo Bosi, also known as Il Douche/Wish.Com Saddam/Reject Shop Gaddaffi and Craptain Cooker; is a prolific author, used car salesman and motivational speaker, from Sydney, Australia. He spent 24 years in the army 'protecting sickos'. He is frequently seen around [[Camp EPIC|Camp Cooker]] with his usher and offsider, [[David 'Kanga Guru' Graham|David 'Kanga Guru' Graham]].

He is well known as the archnemesis of Lord Admiral [[Graham Hood]].
[[File:Greatness-awaits-you.jpg|thumb|left|The tome of infinite wisdom]]
==Quotes==
{{Quote
|GET THAT NUMBER TATTED ON YOUR FORRID! 5 MILLION PEOPLE! Sydney, Melbourne, get off your tails and do some work. Get down here! 5 Million people... This is a moment in history. If we FUCK THIS, WE LOSE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND??! THIS IS OUR TIME, WE EITHER WIN OR LOSE. THOSE BASTARDS UP THERE ARE ALREADY KILLING OUR KIDS! WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE IN STORE FOR US NEXT?
|Riccardo Bosi|Outside Parliament House [[Blood Libel|relevant conspiracy - blood libel]]
}}
{{Quote
|They wanna make - a baby does not get personhood until they are two years old. Up until that point you can fuck em, you can kill em, you can take body parts out. Ask your mates Kelly and Palmer what the FUCK they're gonna do about that.
|Riccardo Bosi|[https://twitter.com/i/status/1490933388605153283 Video] [[Blood Libel|relevant conspiracy - blood libel]]
}}
==[[Battle of EPIC]]==
Bosi is currently involved in a leadership struggle against Camp Cooker LARPer-in-Chief, Admiral (ret) [[Graham Hood]]. Drone swarms, under the command of Admiral Hood, have allegedly conducted flyovers of Camp Cooker during Bosi's morning briefings, in order to gather intelligence. They have not been successful.

Unmarked vehicles, equipped with radiation weapons, have also been sighted near the front of Camp Cooker. It is not known whether they are acting under the orders of Admiral Hood.

==Diet==
[[File:RICEANDONIONS.png|thumb|left|The breakfast of champions]]
Bosi's diet consists entirely of RICE AND FUCKIN' ONIONS.

==Antics==
* [https://twitter.com/AltMediaWatch/status/1491631866734333953 Video of Bosi advocating to hang ASIO employees.]
* [https://www.facebook.com/100004261664438/videos/1159934668109107/ Video of Bosi advocating for violence against Federal Politicians.]
* [https://twitter.com/LizardHumanoid/status/1490543322133590019 Video of Bosi's frequent offsider and sidekick, Dave 'Guru', advocating for the bombing of Parliament]

==Political influence==
* Inspired by former Italian Prime Minister [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benito_Mussolini Benito Mussolini] and former American General [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Flynn|Michael Flynn].
* Despite being the darling of the FreeDumb movement, Bosi's A1 party remains unable to gather the requisite 1,500 qualified party members to support the party's registration with [https://www.aec.gov.au/parties_and_representatives/party_registration/ AEC], allegedly due to the party members failing to pass the standard [https://www.workingwithchildren.vic.gov.au/#:~:text=The%20Working%20with%20Children%20Check,from%20sexual%20or%20physical%20harm. "Working with Children"] checks.
* Bosi is running on the "Save the Children" platform popular among the FreeDumb movement. One of Bosi's election promise is to ban neo-natal abortion, an aggressive proposal that his key political rival [https://uap-craigkelly.com.au/ UAP Craig Kelly] is too chicken shit to support.
* Bosi was narrowly defeated in the 2020 Eden-Monaro By-election, where he accumulated 0% of the votes. [https://www.ourcampaigns.com/RaceDetail.html?RaceID=906484]
* Bosi is an Islamophobe who was seen giving an unsuspecting Muslim women the [https://twitter.com/adingo8temybaby/status/1492273513784569857?s=21 classic Bosi treatment] in public.

==Fashion Choices==
* Bosi wears his unmarked camo as his preferred fashion choice. He is definitely not LARPing.
* Bosi refuses to attach any badges or insignia on his camo (including the Australian flag one), because he regularly wears these camos as PJs and the pins hurt him when he sleeps.

==War Injury and replacement nipples==
[[File:Diamond_nipples.png|thumb|left|Bosi's diamond nipples on full display]]
* Bosi was leading a raid on innocent afghani farmers when he tripped over and grazed his chest on the ground, ripping off his nipples.
* As part of an experimental program, the SAS replaced his nipples with extremely sharp diamonds.
* Rumour has it his nipples are capable of detaching and being thrown as ninja stars if Bosi is ever disarmed.

==Definitely not a government plant==
* There are rumours that Bosi, as an ex-SAS lieutenant colonel could be a part of a Government plot to delegitimise and control growing right-wing extremist movements in Australia.
* These rumours are definitely INCORRECT. Bosi is a proven freedom fighter who made visits occasionally to CAMP EPIC before he went back to his 5 star hotel. He needed the hotel to stay refreshed and prepared to fight off the globalists.