Cookerpedia - User contributions [en-gb]

Zeus

2022-02-13T10:35:28Z

RayDio: added picture without cookers in the way

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{Vehicle
| image = [[File:Zeus.PNG]]
| Type = Main Battle Wank
| Place of Origin = Cookerstan
| In Service = Unknown - 'present'
| Used By = Cookers
| Wars = [[Canberra Siege]]
| Mass = 6540kg Tare weight
16 tonnes GVM

30 tonnes of Ego
| length = 6m
| width = 2.2m (approx)
| Crew = 5 cookers (Internal)
20 cookers (hanging on for dear life)
| Armor = Matte black paint
| Main Armament = Empty Emu Export Cans

Empty Monster energy drink Cans

Body odour

A spicy cough

Cringe

Any cookers who fall off
| Engine = Fully-sick straight-6 bruz
| Power/Weight =
| Transmission = clapped out
| Suspension = Raised beyond logic
| Ground clearance = 3 cooker kids high
| Fuel capacity = 300 litres
| Operational range = 150m before breaking down
| Maximum speed = 250km/h (down a hill)

}}

The ''B1 Zeus'' Main battle wank (a.k.a. Impound Force 1) is a first generation Cooker battle vehicle designed by cookers and built off a 1998 Freightliner FL80. It was heavily modified into a cookercab pickup (because a regular ute just isn't big enough to compensate for the owners.. shortcomings), with a lift-kit and the load tub off a Ford F350/450 dually pickup truck, painted matte black with large air horns and plastered with Tactical flags and cooker slogans in fluoro colours.

It was developed as a prototype for the soon to be created micro-nation of Cooktopia as their primary method of combating the fascist pedophile mason satanic cabal and replacing it with their own fascist pedophile mason satanic cabal.

[[file:Zeus-side-1.png|600px]]
 '''Image''': Built off a 1998 Freightliner FL80 (likely originally a fire truck), Zeus employs a number of standard field-approved modifications, such as twin "Look at me, I'm an idiot and I'm about to do something stupid" train horns, twin-overhead grease nipples, chrome plated foxtail on the antenna, a dash mounted flower vase and an up-cycled F-truck tub from a local buy-nothing group.
 
 
[[file:Zeus3.jpg|600px]]
 '''Image''': Zeus on its way to assault police and deafen the neighbours.
 
 
[[file:Zeus-refuelling-drogue.png|600px]]
 '''Image''': recently declassified imagery of the in-flight refueling system drogue in action.
 
 
[[file:Firetruck.jpg|600px]]
 '''Image''': what this vehicle looked like before the cookers ruined it.

File:Zeus3.jpg

2022-02-13T10:32:42Z

RayDio:

Zeus

2022-02-13T10:04:14Z

RayDio: added some real details of the truck to go with the jokes

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{Vehicle
| image = [[File:Zeus.PNG]]
| Type = Main Battle Wank
| Place of Origin = Cookerstan
| In Service = Unknown - 'present'
| Used By = Cookers
| Wars = [[Canberra Siege]]
| Mass = 6540kg Tare weight
16 tonnes GVM

30 tonnes of Ego
| length = 6m
| width = 2.2m (approx)
| Crew = 5 cookers (Internal)
20 cookers (hanging on for dear life)
| Armor = Matte black paint
| Main Armament = Empty Emu Export Cans

Empty Monster energy drink Cans

Body odour

A spicy cough

Cringe

Any cookers who fall off
| Engine = Fully-sick straight-6 bruz
| Power/Weight =
| Transmission = clapped out
| Suspension = Raised beyond logic
| Ground clearance = 3 cooker kids high
| Fuel capacity = 300 litres
| Operational range = 150m before breaking down
| Maximum speed = 250km/h (down a hill)

}}

The ''B1 Zeus'' Main battle wank (a.k.a. Impound Force 1) is a first generation Cooker battle vehicle designed by cookers and built off a 1998 Freightliner FL80. It was heavily modified into a cookercab pickup (because a regular ute just isn't big enough to compensate for the owners.. shortcomings), with a lift-kit and the load tub off a Ford F350/450 dually pickup truck, painted matte black with large air horns and plastered with Tactical flags and cooker slogans in fluoro colours.

It was developed as a prototype for the soon to be created micro-nation of Cooktopia as their primary method of combating the fascist pedophile mason satanic cabal and replacing it with their own fascist pedophile mason satanic cabal.

[[file:Zeus-side-1.png|600px]]
 '''Image''': Built off a 1998 Freightliner FL80 (likely originally a fire truck), Zeus employs a number of standard field-approved modifications, such as twin "Look at me, I'm an idiot and I'm about to do something stupid" train horns, twin-overhead grease nipples, chrome plated foxtail on the antenna, a dash mounted flower vase and an up-cycled F-truck tub from a local buy-nothing group.
 
 
[[file:Zeus-refuelling-drogue.png|600px]]
 '''Image''': recently declassified imagery of the in-flight refueling system drogue in action.
 
 
[[file:Firetruck.jpg|600px]]
 '''Image''': what this vehicle looked like before the cookers ruined it.

File:Firetruck.jpg

2022-02-13T10:01:08Z

RayDio: original zeus base

== Summary ==
original zeus base

Joel Gilmour

2022-02-12T14:22:58Z

RayDio:

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{CookerInfoBox
| image = [[File:Joel.png]]
| age = 18
| gender = Twink
| location = Canberra Hospital Car Park
| height = idk
| weight = idk
| affiliations = NRMA, RACV
| aliases = The Wanderer, Jelly Legs Joel
| instagram = https://www.instagram.com/joelgilmour
| facebook = https://facebook.com/joel.gilmour1
| telegram = https://t.me/FreedomForVictoria
}}
Joel is <s>an infant</s> a "citizen journalist" who lives in his parent's basement but often resides in various car parks around Australia

== About Joel ==

Joel is a pair of eyebrows attached to a facebook live streamer and baby cooker who has recently discovered the art of the grift.

Joel's dedication to the cooker cause has been hampered by the loss of his car, which he usually misplaces once or twice a day.

He has fought hard to overcome his legendary "jelly legs" to become The Wanderer.

His nemesis is Sgt Greene of Victoria Police.

A fan of water and cigs.

Joel attempted to grift for a new microphone to use on his streams. This new microphone would have significantly increased his audio quality inside concrete carparks, but during his attempt to purchase it he was beaten by a sane person. Joel is currently taking up a bed in Canberra Hospital

== History ==

Joel earned his spot in the Cooker Hall of Fame from his embarrassing arrest at an anti lockdown rally at Northcote Plaza Coles. As soon as large numbers of police arrived protestors scattered and Joel ran for his life on a panicked parkour adventure to escape consequences through the park.
Like most cookers, Joel likes to talk tough about cops but totally capitulates when actually confronted by them. When questioned by police Joel claimed he was media, but was forced to admit he had no media pass and was not even studying journalism, though he might study it in the future. He befriended a second group of police and was escorted to his car, getting the name Sgt Green from one of the police.
Despite Joel's belief he was ensured safety by Sgt Green, Joel went back in and was later arrested by two riot police who bullied him about his eyebrows, likening them to those of Uncle Leo in the Seinfeld Episode "The Package". Joel then sat against a wall waiting to be arrested filming his now famous jittering "Jelly" legs. Joel later theorised that "Sgt Green" was in face a codeword to indicate he should be arrested. During the arrest one of the riot cops bellowed the immortal phrase "MOVE YA CAR... MOVE!"

== Antics ==
*Highlight reel of the Sgt Green Arrest.
<youtube>U2Mne_NysLE</youtube>

Gabe

2022-02-11T02:44:20Z

RayDio:

[[Category:Cookers]]
{{CookerInfoBox
| image = [[File:GABE.png]]
| age = physically about 25, mentally about 13
| gender = Male Conforming
| location = Port Melbourne, Australia
| height = 5'1"
| weight = 17 stone
| affiliations = Don't know.
| aliases = Frontman, Egg Boy, Humpty Dumpty, The Thumb, Omelette
| instagram = https://instagram.com/frontman_the3rd
| facebook = idk
| telegram = idk
}}
Gabe is <s>an idiot</s> a cooker who lives in Port Melbourne, Australia.
[[File:TSR Dr Eggman.png|thumb|left|Dr Eggman. The father of Gabe]]

== About Gabriel ==

Scientists are unsure whether Gabe is a human toe, an egg, or some kind of accursed, advanced genetic hybrid between the two.

Observers have also noted, that he may actually be a thumb, with a face drawn on.

== Habitat ==

He can generally be found in his bedroom, livestreaming on Instagram, while obsessing over the Twitch chats of [https://twitch.tv/asseenontelegram AsSeenOnTelegram] and [https://twitch.tv/discodeadpigeon DiscoDeadPigeon], much to the detriment of his guests, his attention rapidly drifting away from them, to fully fixate on his new addiction, leftist Twitch chat.

== Beliefs ==

Gabe maintains a stern policy of "All talk, no action", as he has yet to visit Canberra, but assures us all, he'll definitely Hood Oos "The Cossack" if he does.

== Personal Life ==

Gabe currently appears to be listless and directionless in life, perhaps due to his recent involvement in a one-sided parasocial relationship, as he yearns for and obsesses over a popular Twitch streamer known for her egg-baiting antics.