Difference between revisions of "Clive Palmer"
(Created page with "Category:Cookers {{CookerInfoBox | image = File:Cpl.jpeg | age = 66 | gender = he's a big bear baby | occupation = Collector of Moon Rocks | location = Wherever he can fit through the door | height = 6'0" | weight = about the same as a small grey southern humpback whale | affiliations = United Australia Party,Minerals Council of Australia | aliases = Clive | instagram = https://www.instagram.com/ | twitter = http://www.twitter.com/...") |
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== About Clive == | == About Clive == | ||
Clive Palmer was birthed from an ancient egg sometime around the occupation of Rome by the Visigoths. He has been the bain of legitimate governments since the dawn of popular democracy, showing up from time to time to either lobby for more treats for himself, get elected and have nap time in the house, or rally the barely literate into voting for him and his half baked schemes. His last trick of spending $80 million dollars and ending up with zero seats in a parliament found himself looking to come up with his next trick. At the last election he rallied the populace into thinking Labor would introduce 'death taxes' this election he has latched onto the 'Freedumb' movement and plans to rally them into not voting for anyone, but still deliver a government that will let him open his mines and ship iron, coal and whatever else he finds back to his masters in China. | |||
== Beliefs == | == Beliefs == | ||
Clive's only real belief is in money. The acquisition of money, the storing of money, the using of money to get more money & Tim Tams. In fact, his whole life view could have been gleaned from the Star Trek universes resident species that only craves money, the Ferengi. Their rules of acquisition [https://memory-beta.fandom.com/wiki/Ferengi_Rules_of_Acquisition#The_Known_Ferengi_Rules_of_Acquisition] were closely modelled on Clive's life. Gene Roddenberry had modelled the Ferengi on Clive from an ideological view, George Lucas modelled Jabba the Hutt on his appearance. The original drawings for Jabba were far more slothful and slug-like, but Lucas, fearing the wrath of Clives $5 lawyers, re-did the model and it ended up with what we have today. | |||
Today, Clive's money is being used to spruik snake oil to people in the form of politics. Clive is promising the cookers that if he is elected and his minion Craig Kelly is made Prime Minister, all their wildest dreams will come true. The truth is far more sinister, in that all he really wants is another mine, a bigger boat he can register in foreign countries and easier access to tax safe havens to hide his ill-gotten gains from the public. The poor cookers have been sold a lie, will gladly donate yet more of their money to an already wealthy person, only to have the same regime reelected into power all so Clive can get yet another billion to waste on more Tim Tams. | |||
== Cooker Influencer Cred/Claim to Fames == | == Cooker Influencer Cred/Claim to Fames == | ||
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== Personal Life == | == Personal Life == | ||
[https://cookerpedia.org/images/2/28/Palmer%2Bsleeping.jpg] | |||
==Double Agent Allegations== | ==Double Agent Allegations== | ||
Latest revision as of 09:43, 16 February 2022
Big Daddy Boss who is blatantly Buying Cookers Off
About Clive
Clive Palmer was birthed from an ancient egg sometime around the occupation of Rome by the Visigoths. He has been the bain of legitimate governments since the dawn of popular democracy, showing up from time to time to either lobby for more treats for himself, get elected and have nap time in the house, or rally the barely literate into voting for him and his half baked schemes. His last trick of spending $80 million dollars and ending up with zero seats in a parliament found himself looking to come up with his next trick. At the last election he rallied the populace into thinking Labor would introduce 'death taxes' this election he has latched onto the 'Freedumb' movement and plans to rally them into not voting for anyone, but still deliver a government that will let him open his mines and ship iron, coal and whatever else he finds back to his masters in China.
Beliefs
Clive's only real belief is in money. The acquisition of money, the storing of money, the using of money to get more money & Tim Tams. In fact, his whole life view could have been gleaned from the Star Trek universes resident species that only craves money, the Ferengi. Their rules of acquisition [1] were closely modelled on Clive's life. Gene Roddenberry had modelled the Ferengi on Clive from an ideological view, George Lucas modelled Jabba the Hutt on his appearance. The original drawings for Jabba were far more slothful and slug-like, but Lucas, fearing the wrath of Clives $5 lawyers, re-did the model and it ended up with what we have today.
Today, Clive's money is being used to spruik snake oil to people in the form of politics. Clive is promising the cookers that if he is elected and his minion Craig Kelly is made Prime Minister, all their wildest dreams will come true. The truth is far more sinister, in that all he really wants is another mine, a bigger boat he can register in foreign countries and easier access to tax safe havens to hide his ill-gotten gains from the public. The poor cookers have been sold a lie, will gladly donate yet more of their money to an already wealthy person, only to have the same regime reelected into power all so Clive can get yet another billion to waste on more Tim Tams.
![[2]](https://cookerpedia.org/images/2/28/Palmer%2Bsleeping.jpg){kind=link}