Difference between revisions of "Sosig Rob"
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Revision as of 12:03, 28 February 2022
About Rob
Armenian-Russian Rob aka Artyom is the pinnacle streamer of the cookers. Kind at heart, yet dedicated to the cause of broadcasting the cooker events, he has made his way into the hearts of all counter-cookers around the world - particularly the twitchy ones.
Sosig Rob is best known for his long streams - never stopping despite demands of McDonalds Managers. He will forego his morning coffee to ensure he continues streaming the tile floor of Maccas with his hundreds of viewers. His regular commentary of the things he sees is interspersed with his yearning desire to immediately pat any doggo he sees. Rob joined the cookers at EPIC, got cooked by the LRAD suns when stomping throughout the 5 Million Blades of Grass March, and remained as one of the last EPIC campers standing as they were evicted. Clearly on the side of Captain Hoody, his good heart is evidenced through his regular pleas for people to remain peaceful, and to leave the camp without resisting.
History
Rob's fame began as he aimlessly wandered the same patches of EPIC for 16 hours straight, surviving on a lone Maccas coffee (possibly with added spit), a free sosig he found in the morning, and another sausie he was given at night. Thus the Sosig Legend was born, as he continually hunted for a warm weiner to satisfy him. His walkabouts were occasionally interrupted by a cooked waiting to share their conspiracy, or try to translate his name Raaawwb or his Youtube channel Riber Tauble. Rob fixed this in later weeks by sticking a handmade sign to his back with his socials scrawled in highlighter. His infamy however, began during a live stream of the classic cooker open mic night, as the cooked hurled insults and abuse each other, questioning why the leaders had pissed off and stayed in their hotels, and what Guru did with the money buckets. As Rob's phone overheated, he searched for a way to cool it down. His dedicated viewers screamed at their screen and chats, as he beelined for a nearby tap, and subjected his audience to a POV waterboarding. After successfully cooling, and with everyone in disbelief, 15min later it happened again. A moment's silence for his phone, when it did not survive a 3min solid waterboarding. Rob was not dissuaded though, returning to stream 30min later with a borrowed phone. Pour a beer out onto your phone in honour of a fallen comrade.
Rob has become a favourite as he continues to return to Canberra each weekend, successfully finding enough people to share in a live stream the inner secrets of the cooker camps - who knows who the infiltrators could be, and how the counter cooked find out about them. Rob's love of sosig is consistent across every stream, with frequent mentions and less frequent success in locating a saucy sausie. His dedication to the stream included streaming his own shopping trip to Coles, where he sought opinions on the best steak, and of course loaded up on sausages. Rob is often seen onscreen riding his favourite horsie, also called Sosig, and sleeps on a back breaking panel of wood in the back of his tiny Kia.
In his spare time, Rob helps his landlord move stuff, makes epoxy river tables, cawks at cockies, buries the accelerator anytime the speed zone changes, and doxes himself by sharing his phone number in his live streams, and then wonders why his phone keeps ringing after. He recently enjoyed a delightful day at the Canberra Easter Show - naturally, all streamed.
As Rob avoids repeating the crazy cooker mantras, and will barely repeat or re-share the views of the truly conspiracy cooked, it's become clear that Rob is just a nice guy who feels a bit out of place. Thus the consensus view is that he can be saved and deprogrammed leaving him uncooked. #SAVEROB