Gabe
Gabe is an idiot a cooker who lives in Port Melbourne, Australia.
About Gabriel
Scientists are unsure whether Gabe is a human toe, an egg, or some kind of accursed, advanced genetic hybrid between the two.
Observers have also noted, that he may actually be a thumb, with a face drawn on.
Gabe claims the growth on his lip is plastic surgery from getting glassed in a bar fight, but it is most likely a small egg getting ready to hatch.
Habitat
He can generally be found in his bedroom, livestreaming on Instagram, while obsessing over the Twitch chats of AsSeenOnTelegram and DiscoDeadPigeon, much to the detriment of his guests, his attention rapidly drifting away from them, to fully fixate on his new addiction, leftist Twitch chat. Gabe was gifted subs to both of these channels.
Diet
Gabe's diet consists of tuna, rice and cigarettes.
Beliefs
Gabe maintains a stern policy of "All talk, no action", as he has yet to visit Canberra, but assures us all, he'll definitely Hood Oos "The Cossack" if he does. He is currently on the verge of de-cooking.
Gabe believes that vaccine passports are equivalent to when Nazi officials implemented the Jewish badge (an identifying badge to mark Jews) between 1939 and 1945. They did so in a systematic manner, as a prelude to deporting Jews to ghettos and killing centers in German-occupied eastern Europe. It’s totally cool though because he “doesn’t believe in far right conspiracy theories”
Gabe also doesn’t believe that the mRNA vaccines are actually vaccines, since his simple egg head can’t comprehend the definition of a vaccine correctly. Instead, he believes it to be an “experimental gene therapy”, and that it hasn’t completed a phase 3 trial, so is therefore unsafe. This of course, is despite the completion of phase 3 trials as of July 22, 2021. [1]
Vaccine
/ˈvaksiːn,ˈvaksɪn/
noun: vaccine; plural noun: vaccines a substance used to stimulate the production of antibodies and provide immunity against one or several diseases, prepared from the causative agent of a disease, its products, or a synthetic substitute, treated to act as an antigen without inducing the disease. "every year the flu vaccine is modified to deal with new strains of the virus"
Personal Life
Gabe currently appears to be listless and directionless in life, perhaps due to his recent involvement in a one-sided parasocial relationship, as he yearns for and obsesses over a popular Twitch streamer known for her egg-baiting antics.
Soundbites
I swear to god, I'll come around there and vaccinate you in your fuckin` head!
— Leonie, The Gabe Variety Hour