Joel Gilmour

Revision as of 07:49, 11 February 2022 by Limking (talk | contribs)

Joel is an infant a "citizen journalist" who lives in his parent's basement but often resides in various car parks around Australia


About Joel

Joel is a pair of eyebrows attached to a facebook live streamer and baby cooker who has recently discovered the art of the grift.

Joel's dedication to the cooker cause has been hampered by the loss of his car, which he usually misplaces once or twice a day.

He has fought hard to overcome his legendary "jelly legs" to become The Wanderer.

His nemesis is Sgt Greene of Victoria Police.

A fan of water and cigs.

Joel is currently attempting to grift for a new microphone to use on his streams. This new microphone should significantly increase his audio quality inside concrete carparks, but consequently will also increase the quality of his verbal dribble at the same time.

History

Joel earned his spot in the Cooker Hall of Fame from his embarrassing arrest at an anti lockdown rally at Northcote Plaza Coles. As soon as large numbers of police arrived protestors scattered and Joel ran for his life on a panicked parkour adventure to escape consequences through the park. Like most cookers, Joel likes to talk tough about cops but totally capitulates when actually confronted by them. When questioned by police Joel claimed he was media, but was forced to admit he had no media pass and was not even studying journalism, though he might study it in the future. He befriended a second group of police and was escorted to his car, getting the name Sgt Green from one of the police. Despite Joel's belief he was ensured safety by Sgt Green, Joel went back in and was later arrested by two riot police who bullied him about his eyebrows, likening them to those of Uncle Leo in the Seinfeld Episode "The Package". Joel then sat against a wall waiting to be arrested filming his now famous jittering "Jelly" legs. Joel later theorised that "Sgt Green" was in face a codeword to indicate he should be arrested. During the arrest one of the riot cops bellowed the immortal phrase "MOVE YA CAR... MOVE!"

Antics

Highlight reel of the Sgt Green Arrest.