David Graham

David Graham
Age	Looks like hes at least 50, in reality is likely to only be about 35 or so
Gender	Hobbit
Location	Wollongong, New South Wales
Occupation	Concretor, but one suspects the sacks of concrete sand are almost bigger than he is
Height	Gnarly and gnome-like in stature
Weight	how fat can you be when you exist off tinnies, winnie blues and shard?
Affiliation(s)	Hawkesbury River Houseboat Owners Co-operative, Hobbiton
Aliases	Kanga Guru
Social Media
Instagram	https://www.instagram.com/
Facebook	https://www.facebook.com/gurudownunder/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070112163873
Telegram	idk

Sovshit with Severe Substance-Abuse Sleep Dep

About Kanga Dave

David Graham AKA Kanga Guru is an angry little troll who crawled out of some back of Bourke hick town opium den after being lured out by the whiff of sweet sweet grift gofuckme funds by friend, fellow sovshit redneck and glass barbie enthusiast Jimmy Greer. He is frequently seen beside his master, Riccardo Bosi.

Cooker Influencer Cred/Claim to Fames

None that our researchers have been able to uncover, which is puzzling given notoriously tough crowd of Freedom bravehearts have been remarkably accommodating of this newcomer commandeering megaphone rights and have been seen tolerating the incoherent racist delusional rantings of this crackhead.

Guru's most cooked moment was probably when he advocated for bombing Parliament House in front of a roaring crowd.

Personal Life

The Guru lives on a boat.

Double Agent Allegations

No intelligence agency, police human asset case manager or just graduated journalism student in their first job at some obscure regional news company who are in full possession of their mental faculties would entertain the idea of engaging this offtap cooker as a source, the bloke is a deadset liability. Unless they happened to be a high-functioning methamphetamine addict that is, then using Kanga Kooker as a source would be a smart move. The bloke clearly gets the best shit in town