David Graham

Sovshit with Severe Substance-Abuse Sleep Dep

	Looks like hes at least 50, in reality is likely to only be about 35 or so
	Hobbit
	Wollongong, New South Wales
	Concretor, but one suspects the sacks of concrete sand are almost bigger than he is
	Gnarly and gnome-like in stature
	how fat can you be when you exist off tinnies, winnie blues and shard?
	Hawkesbury River Houseboat Owners Co-operative, Hobbiton
	Kanga Guru
	https://www.instagram.com/bravestdave/
	https://www.facebook.com/gurudownunder/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070112163873
	idk

“Tomorrow night... do you reckon I could have like a double dose? Cause I'm havin' a real easy day before Parliament... So I'm just gonna relax tomorrow [incoherent muttering] Cool! Nah that was a nice trip right, a nice drop, I liked it.”

— David Graham, in conversation with his acid dealer

About Kanga Dave

David Graham AKA Kanga Guru is a notorious grifter and an angry little troll who crawled out of some back of Bourke hick town opium den after being lured out by the whiff of sweet sweet grift gofuckme funds by friend, fellow sovshit redneck and glass barbie enthusiast Jimmy Greer. He is frequently seen beside his master, Riccardo Bosi.

Guru is well known for live streaming a conversation with his meth dealer at Cookerchella.

Guru was last seen soliciting donations to buy a 300 acre farm before disappearing.

Beliefs

Talking about the quality of your 'gear' with your dealer, whilst live streaming.

It is plausible that everything Guru said during loserpalooza was just part of an acid trip. He'll likely wake up in his boat in a few days and think this was all not real.

Cooker Influencer Cred/Claim to Fames

None that our researchers have been able to uncover, which is puzzling given notoriously tough crowd of Freedom bravehearts have been remarkably accommodating of this newcomer commandeering megaphone rights and have been seen tolerating the incoherent racist delusional rantings of this crackhead.

Guru's most cooked moment was probably when he advocated for bombing Parliament House in front of a roaring crowd.

Personal Life

The Guru lives on a boat.

Double Agent Allegations

No intelligence agency, police human asset case manager or just graduated journalism student in their first job at some obscure regional news company who are in full possession of their mental faculties would entertain the idea of engaging this offtap cooker as a source, the bloke is a deadset liability. Unless they happened to be a high-functioning methamphetamine addict that is, then using Kanga Kooker as a source would be a smart move. The bloke clearly gets the best shit in town