Anthony Burge

Revision as of 05:36, 14 February 2022 by Poshstabs (talk | contribs) (→‎Interesting facts: Added interesting fact)

Anthony Burge, also known as Meth-head, the Coward of Canberra, or No-Balls Burge, is a cooker from Melbourne.

About Anthony

Anthony partakes in all the usual livestream-cooker activities, including but not limited to - vastly over-exaggerating protest numbers, calling out mainstream media, and complaining about his gimbal.

Antics

Anthony is known for apparently having Crohn's disease, for which he has needed multiple surgeries to alleviate symptoms and avoid complications such as sepsis. During a brief visit in a Melbourne hospital, Anthony streamed himself from his hospital bed post-surgery in which he complained about the hospital staff and speculated on whether or not he had been secretly jabbed whilst under anesthesia.

Meth-Head

Anthony's nickname comes from his often disheveled appearance, particularly so from his time camping out on the steps of Parliament House for several days in Melbourne as part of the "Occupy Parliament" movement.

He has been observed to get very aggravated whenever people mention his suspected meth habits in his livestream comments which he occasionally finds the energy to read.

On the topic of energy, Anthony Burge is known to be one of the laziest streamers within the AFIPN, rarely streaming for more than an hour at a time before needing to take a break - potentially to meet his meth dealer or empty his fabled colostomy bag.

Candy man

"Candyman", Anthony's secondary nickname, was brought about after a run-in with prolific YARDer 'Tom Tanuki' in Melbourne by a CARF rally. Anthony spent upwards of an hour attempting to interview Tom and his gaggle of YARDers, asking them questions about the CARF movement, vaccines, and the pandemic as a whole. During this time, his questions were merely met with offers of candycanes, of which he ate a couple, and filled his pockets with the rest. To this day, Anthony still gets messages in his livestreams asking about candycanes which are often responded to with exasperated sighs and nose exhales.

Mommy’s boy

On multiple occasions Burge has passed his mobile phone on to his mother whilst he "goes to the bathroom" in the middle of his Facebook livestreams. During these times his mother has both dropped his phone, and fallen over completely which resulted in breaking his gimbal under her almighty mass.

AFIPN Suspension

Anthony was at one time suspended from the AFIPN for a couple of days after an incident outside of Parliament House in Melbourne where he confronted a passerby with his son who appeared to be approximately 12 years of age. Burge called out the boy's father for abusing him by making him wear a mask. After a few words were exchanged the father and son duo continued on their walk whilst Anthony mumbled to himself - perhaps a scenario that was brought about by his crippling meth withdrawals.

Tears at the supermarket

After the conclusion of Operation Sovereign Storm, Burge proceeded to wander the Canberra Centre shopping mall. He spent this time maskless, and wandering aimlessly attempting to provoke a response from shoppers and staff. After 30 minutes of streaming he was confronted by a shop assistant, and Burge turned off the stream to 'have a word with her'. Upon starting the stream again, Burge was found to be in tears and whinging about the 'abuse' he suffered at the hands of the shop assistant.

The following time was spent complaining about what had happened to his viewers, where it was made clear that while attempting to harass the worker, several other nearby employees 'screamed' at him that he 'can't talk to a girl that way'. He was then approached by some local shoppers who told him "We are sick of you cunts, fuck off". Disturbed and upset by this clearly unprovoked attack, Burge asked a nearby security guard for assistance, who proceeded to eject him from the Centre.

Interesting facts

  • It is rumored that Anthony has a colostomy bag although this is unconfirmed.
  • Enjoys perving at Billboards inside shopping centres.
  • He also claims to have snorted cocaine of Monica Schmidt’s boney arse and reported a dreadful stench of faeces and urine when doing so.