Cookertown Declaration

	18:10pm 12 February 2022
	18:50pm 12 february 2022
	EPIC
	Riccardo Bossi Guru Joel Jammal Graham Hood
	Riccardo Bossi Guru Joel Jammal Graham Hood Phil Henderson
	To create a Sovereign Citizen Micronation

The Declaration

After the failure of Operation Sovereign Storm the Cooker Army returned to their garrison of EPIC with their tail between their legs for a circle-jerk and a cooker-doof. They decided the create their own sovereign nation on land -as yet found-.

Preamble

The most notable message declared by Riccardo Bossi, the soon to be Cook-Pot Despot of the Micronation of Cooktopia, Captial city of Cookertown (Most notably going to include a eternally burning flame for them to watch their dreams die in).

'We will create a new nation, by the people for the people with the people, so PLEASE hand over whatever money you have'.

The preamble was met with mixed reception to begin with, but soon met with rapturous applause from the unwashed masses and the emptying of wallets. This was shortly before the soon to be leaders of this new nation retired to their individual 5 star suites in new-acton.

The Celebration

What became a dance party that rivaled the Zion Dance in the Second Matrix movie (allegedly) the Cooker army retired to a lacklustre rave party they called Cooker doof 2022. There are now reports of shitty dancing and cringe boomercore mixed with 90s party tunes. This can only end with a lot of people being rooted in the back of some Holden utes. We expect the ensuing cooker baby boom to correct Australia's current demographic crisis.

Reactions of famous Cookers

Janaya: I don't know what Jonestown is but I'm really keen to experience the love and beauty of this movement for myself.

Hoody: fuck that i'm going home TO ME WIFE, AND I'M GONNA CATCH A BREAM, AND TOTALLY NOT BE ADDICTED TO PORN!

Guru: I look forward to collecting camp wives, multiple wives. Polygamy is legal in Cookertown - we've re-established the L O R E not the LAW!

Shit hat: I'm looking forward to being one of Guru's many wives.

Big BUSSI: This is a GREAT development for the movement! Oh, will I stay there? hahahaha NO, are you crazy?

Fat Russian: I will inform Vladimir, he may wish to establish diplomatic relations with your new nation!