Bruce Paix

From Cookerpedia
Revision as of 03:38, 12 February 2022 by GronkSideshow (talk | contribs) (Added cooker info box)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Would you let him put you to sleep?

Bruce Richard Paix is a former anaesthetist who drank the Koolaid instead of the usual anaethetist occupations of doing soduko or day trading whilst their patient is asleep. At no time has he cared for a patient with COVID, though he claims to have been to "many houses full of COVID patients" without being affected. He attributes this to the use of high-dose vitamins and a carnavore diet.

He was also a former Air Force stooge. He claims to be a "war veteran", having chosen an office job in the most cushy of armed forces. It is unclear whether he actually has even fired a weapon, or can fly a plane.

He resigned from his hospital position after he believed in the Cooker nonsense surrounding COVID, since he cannot practice outside a hospital. He was escorted out of the hospital on this day by security guards, and on that same day, he resigned his airforce position as well.

The Airport Incident

Bruce drove his clapped-out truck from Adelaide to join the protests in Canberra. He claims that he was simply lost in Canberra, and arrived at the airport with no clear idea where he was trying to go, despite quite adequate signage. He claims that he saw somebody in high-visibility clothing blocking the road, and immediately his "trauma" experience kicked in, and rather than follow the instructions of the traffic controller, assumed that they were asking him to assist in an accident. He was unaware that this person was a traffic controller, since "we don't have those in South Australia", and continued to drive slowly towards the traffic controller as they moved to block him from proceeding any further. He then struck the traffic controller with his car, and was arrested on site for dangerous driving, a claim he weakly denies.

He was transferred to the Alexander Maconochie Centre (AMC, though incorrectly reported by his daughter [Heather_Paix|Heather] during a livestream with one of the gronks as the "ACM"), where he was placed in quarantine due to his likelihood of having contracted COVID from his exposure in camp. He appeared in the ACT Magistrates Court the next day, pleaded not guilty to the charges, but refused the bail conditions which required him to leave the ACT and not participate in the gronkfest. He felt this condition was too draconian, and decided to return to AMC until his next hearing on 11 February 2022. He went on a personal hunger strike whilst in prison, though the mainstream media did not even mention his name during this time, making his martyrdom somewhat irrelevant.

He appeared by video link to a second hearing on 11 February 2022. At that time, the bail conditions were reduced to him not being able to drive within the ACT unless it is to the court house, a condition which he accepted.

He returned to [Kamp Krusty|Camp_EPIC] standing unrestrained on the back of the truck used by [Tami_Jane|Tami] during her recent tour of the Mainstream Media centres of the ACT, and received a hero's welcome. Several live-streaming gronks then interviewed him, where he recited the usual Cooker mantra regarding vaccines, ivermectin and other similar nonsense.

Education

Bruce somehow earned a Bachelor of Medicine/Bachelor of Surgery (MBBS) from the University of Adelaide in 1988. Following several years as a hospital resident, he chose to devote his life to putting people to sleep, and was admitted as a fellow of the Australian and New Zealand College of Anaesthetists (ANZCA) in 2000.

It is important to note that, it has taken him 12 years to achieve what most other doctors can achieve in 8 years.

Personal life

He is married to his wife Susan, and has a daughter Heather Paix. His wife and daughter run the Patchwork Park Equestiran Centre, and a very interesting interview with them can be found online. Paternity has not been confirmed.

He wears a hat from the Sydney 2000 Olympics, covered in pins he has collected from his adventures around the world. It is believed that this hat smells bad.