Camp EPIC

Revision as of 08:56, 11 February 2022 by Eggman (talk | contribs)

Camp EPIC (AKA Camp Cooker, EPIC) was established in early February 2022 to house antivax refugees from all over Australia. Outside of its current occupation, Exhibition Park in Canberra’s camping facilities are set on 70 hectares of unique country surroundings only 8 minutes north of the city centre and offer:

- Full amenities including showers, toilets and laundry - Powered and un-powered sites with access to water - Quiet location - Pet friendly - Public transport services - Farmers market every Saturday morning - Large drive through grass sites for caravans and motor-homes - Grey water and black water dump points - Exhibition Park in Canberra is home to many local and national events all year round including exhibitions, fairs and festivals.

Early Occupation

EPIC was picked as the Cooker Chosen Land due to it's close proximity to Parliament House, Canberra's SBS Studio and the Lifeline Book Fair. In the early days of occupation, plans for the cookers to move into EPIC were almost foiled by a traffic controller with suspected links to the Illuminati and NWO blocking off the turning lane. It was later discovered that this was part of scheduled roadworks (ordered by the Illuminati NWO Agenda 21).

The EPIC greeting party is comprised of six bogans, a girl on roller skates and a pig. All of whom clap and cheer as cars enter the settlement.


Attempted coup d'état

  • Prior to the occupation of Camp Epic, the cookers established a makeshift camp on the lawns of the Pattrick White Terrace [citation needed], adjacent to the National Library of Australia. The Dumb Cunt was an ambitious asshole. After taking over the movement's virtual infrastructure on telegram, zello and online posters, the Dumb Cunt made his moved to oust the sovcit leadership at the camp. The attempted coup was discovered and foiled by the sovcits. the Dumb Cunt and his crew were ousted from the Pattrick White Terrace camp in the evening of 3 February 2022.
  • The Dumb Cunt retreated and established a secondary camp in Camp EPIC. Following the retreat, the Dumb Cunt retaliated against the sovcits by reporting to the police that the [James Greer|Sovcit leader] was carrying an unlicensed gun in his mobile home. This led to the police to launch an assault on the Patrick White camp and the arrest of the sovcit leader in the morning of 4 February 2022.
  • After the eviction by the Police forces, the sovcits had nowhere to go and drove around the ACT seeking refuge. The normies refused to take them in, while the Dumb Cunt closed the boom gates to Camp EPIC. Following the threat of another invasion by the Police Force, the Dumb Cunt finally conceded and opened the gates for the sovcits to join them at Camp EPIC.
  • The Sovcits established command and control of Camp EPIC. the Dumb Cunt fled Camp EPIC back to Victoria, fearing for his life. Unproven reports indicate the Dumb Cunt had slipped back into Camp EPIC in the evening of 11 February 2022 via an unmarked vehicle. Members of public are advised to be on a lookout for a dumb cunt looking person wearing an ugly pair of sunnies and holding a giant flagpole which overcompensate for his lack of manhood.

System of Government

At time of writing, the current leader/s of EPIC are unclear, as they change on a daily basis. Whoever holds the microphone during their nightly meeting is able to command the residents, or read bad poetry. The nightly meeting has been affectionately referred to as 'Open Mic Night'.

Crime

EPIC is rife with crime with reports of syringes being found in public toilets, stolen trailers and exposed rib cages being frequent.

Dog cage Glory Holes

It is unsure when they resorted too base methods to fund this ongoing conflict. Some sources indicate fairly early on in their occupation of EPIC citing 'in the epic economy $20 dollars is literally a million dollars'. First out break of CRD's (convoy related diseases) were spotted easily on journalist faces.