Difference between revisions of "David Graham"
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| image = [[File:Kanga.jpg]] | | image = [[File:Kanga.jpg]] | ||
| age = Looks like hes at least 50, in reality is likely to only be about 35 or so | | age = Looks like hes at least 50, in reality is likely to only be about 35 or so | ||
| gender = | | gender = Hobbit | ||
| occupation = Concretor, but one suspects the sacks of concrete sand are almost bigger than he is | | occupation = Concretor, but one suspects the sacks of concrete sand are almost bigger than he is | ||
| location = Wollongong, New South Wales | | location = Wollongong, New South Wales | ||
| height = Gnarly and gnome-like in stature | | height = Gnarly and gnome-like in stature | ||
| weight = how fat can you be when you exist off tinnies, winnie blues and shard? | | weight = how fat can you be when you exist off tinnies, winnie blues and shard? | ||
| affiliations = Hawkesbury River Houseboat Owners Co-operative | | affiliations = Hawkesbury River Houseboat Owners Co-operative, Hobbiton | ||
| aliases = Kanga Guru | | aliases = Kanga Guru | ||
| instagram = https://www.instagram.com/ | | instagram = https://www.instagram.com/ | ||
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== About Kanga Dave == | == About Kanga Dave == | ||
David Graham AKA Kanga Guru is an angry little troll who crawled out of some back of Bourke hick town opium den after being lured out by the whiff of sweet sweet grift gofuckme funds by friend, fellow sovshit redneck and glass barbie enthusiast [[James Greer|Jimmy Greer]]. | David Graham AKA Kanga Guru is an angry little troll who crawled out of some back of Bourke hick town opium den after being lured out by the whiff of sweet sweet grift gofuckme funds by friend, fellow sovshit redneck and glass barbie enthusiast [[James Greer|Jimmy Greer]]. He is frequently seen beside his master, [[Riccardo Bosi|Riccardo Bosi]] | ||
== Beliefs == | == Beliefs == | ||
== Cooker Influencer Cred/Claim to Fames == | == Cooker Influencer Cred/Claim to Fames == | ||
None that our researchers have been able to uncover, which is puzzling given | None that our researchers have been able to uncover, which is puzzling given notoriously tough crowd of Freedom bravehearts have been remarkably accommodating of this newcomer commandeering megaphone rights and have been seen tolerating the incoherent racist delusional rantings of this crackhead. | ||
Guru's most cooked moment was probably when he advocated for [https://twitter.com/LizardHumanoid/status/1490543322133590019 bombing Parliament House] in front of a roaring crowd. | |||
==Criminal Charges== | ==Criminal Charges== | ||
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== Personal Life == | == Personal Life == | ||
The | The Guru lives on a boat. | ||
==Double Agent Allegations== | ==Double Agent Allegations== | ||
No intelligence agency, police human asset case manager or just graduated journalism student in their first job at some obscure regional news company who are in full possession of their mental faculties would entertain the idea of engaging this offtap cooker as a source, the bloke is a deadset liability. Unless they happened to be a high-functioning methamphetamine addict that is, then using Kanga Kooker as a source would be a smart move. The bloke clearly gets the best shit in town | No intelligence agency, police human asset case manager or just graduated journalism student in their first job at some obscure regional news company who are in full possession of their mental faculties would entertain the idea of engaging this offtap cooker as a source, the bloke is a deadset liability. Unless they happened to be a high-functioning methamphetamine addict that is, then using Kanga Kooker as a source would be a smart move. The bloke clearly gets the best shit in town | ||
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