Graham Hood

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Admiral (ret) Graham Archibald Theodore Hood, also known as the Admiral, is a former self confessed porn addict and freelance author, from Sydney, Australia. He has been accused of being controlled opposition and threatened to quit the protests on several occasions. Despite these continued setbacks, he is the reluctant leader of Camp Cooker (despite staying in his own private accommodation).

Never far away from a mention of God, Hoody expressed his interest in baptising people in a speech to the motley crew at Camp Cooker.

“My name is Graham [...] and my struggle is pornography.”


— Graham Hood, The Hidden Battle: Breaking Free

Battle of EPIC

Admiral Hood is currently involved in a leadership struggle against his archnemesis and Camp Cooker Insurrectionist-in-Chief, Riccardo Bosilini, and his sidekick 'the Guru'. Drone swarms, under the command of Admiral Hood, have allegedly conducted flyovers of Camp Cooker during Bosi's morning briefings, in order to gather intelligence. They have not been successful.

Unmarked vehicles, equipped with radiation weapons, have also been sighted near the front of Camp Cooker. It is not known whether they are acting under the orders of Admiral Hood.

Double agent allegations

Rumours have been heard throughout the EPIC camp that Hoody is in fact, a Hillsong plant, actively working for Scott Morrison to sow discord amongst the movement.

Mini-mental state examination (MMSE)

Due to incoherent rambling, this Mini Mental State Examination has been performed during his Karnaval of Kourage tour as part of the Conn-voy to Kambrah, 2022.

Category Possible points Score
Orientation to time 5 2
Orientation to place 5 1
Registration 3 2
Attention and calculation 5 1
Recall 3 2
Language 2 2
Repetition 1 4*
Complex commands 6 2

Several independent assessors have given him an average score of 4/1 (range 2-7) for repetition. Despite this, he has scored 16/30, which makes the diagnosis of dementia highly likely.

Personal Life

Hoody and his wife Michelle

Michelle Hood saved Hoody from a crippling pornography addiction. Together, they help others to turn around their addiction. It is believed that the former pilot developed this addiction whilst a pilot for Qantas, which allowed him to travel around the world to find the most depraved and horrific pornography. Thanks to Michelle, he no longer watches pornography, but has been seen to leave multiple fire emojis (🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥) on posts by instagram thots, and leave lewd messages in their inboxes.