Difference between revisions of "Camp EPIC"
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The '''Battle of EPIC''', also known as the '''Cooker Offensive''', is an ongoing conflict in the battlefields of EPIC Campground in Canberra, Australia; between [[Graham Hood|Admiral 'Captain Hoody' Hood]] , and [[Riccardo Bosi|General Riccardo 'Il Douche' Bosi]]. The struggle is primarily centered on whether Camp EPIC should execute politicians, or baptise them. | The '''Battle of EPIC''', also known as the '''Cooker Offensive''', is an ongoing conflict in the battlefields of EPIC Campground in Canberra, Australia; between [[Graham Hood|Admiral 'Captain Hoody' Hood]] , and [[Riccardo Bosi|General Riccardo 'Il Douche' Bosi]]. The struggle is primarily centered on whether Camp EPIC should execute politicians, or baptise them. | ||
===Exodus from EPIC=== | |||
Hungover and tuckered out from their [[Operation Sovereign Storm|antics]] the previous day, and threatened with eviction by the World Bank, the Cookers began a mass exodus from EPIC on 13 February 2022. | |||
Some intrepid Cookers, likely high on meth or something sourced from local supplier [[David Graham|Dave 'Guru']], decided it would better if they [https://twitter.com/CelerySorbet/status/1492484396263571458?t=jx8xTeHSA_X_anLdW9qNtw&s=19 '''blockaded the EPIC gates'''] and not let anyone leave. | |||
[[File:UnitedNations.jpeg|200px|thumb|Eviction notice from the World Bank|none]][[File:EPICBlocker.PNG|200px|thumb|This strapping young lad would prefer if everyone was forced to stay inside EPIC by threat of violence.|none]] | |||
==System of Government== | ==System of Government== | ||
At time of writing, the current leader/s of EPIC are unclear, as they change on a daily basis. Whoever holds the microphone during their nightly meeting is able to command the residents, or read bad poetry. The nightly meeting has been affectionately referred to as 'Open Mic Night'. However, it is mandatory for the speaker to claim to not be the leader, despite clearly telling people what to do. [[Graham_Hood|Captain Dementia]] popularised this during his time leading the cookers, but most of the Hall of Fame have employed this as well. | At time of writing, the current leader/s of EPIC are unclear, as they change on a daily basis. Whoever holds the microphone during their nightly meeting is able to command the residents, or read bad poetry. The nightly meeting has been affectionately referred to as 'Open Mic Night'. However, it is mandatory for the speaker to claim to not be the leader, despite clearly telling people what to do. [[Graham_Hood|Captain Dementia]] popularised this during his time leading the cookers, but most of the Hall of Fame have employed this as well. | ||
===Camp rules=== | ===Camp rules=== | ||
Due to the absolutely unhinged nature of a [[Cooker|Cooker]], the camp was forced to make some rules around basic human decency: | Due to the absolutely unhinged nature of a [[Cooker|Cooker]], the camp was forced to make some rules around basic human decency: | ||
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* The pink eye outbreak is 'worsen' today and it is spreading fast. Please if your eyes are dripping gross stuff, come see the medical tent because have got herb ointments to fix. '''Remember, do not touch your eyes after you have pooped'''. | * The pink eye outbreak is 'worsen' today and it is spreading fast. Please if your eyes are dripping gross stuff, come see the medical tent because have got herb ointments to fix. '''Remember, do not touch your eyes after you have pooped'''. | ||
* Please wear thongs or shoes that is waterproof in the showers as we are getting lots of reports of fungus foot. | * Please wear thongs or shoes that is waterproof in the showers as we are getting lots of reports of fungus foot. | ||
* '''Failure to 'adhear' to these rules will mean that you might [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaccination 'enjected'] from the freedom camp.''' | * '''Failure to 'adhear' to these rules will mean that you might [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaccination 'enjected'] from the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sty freedom camp].''' | ||
|''Camp rules''<br /> | |''Camp rules''<br /> | ||
}} | }} | ||
[[File:CampCookerRules.jpeg|200px|thumb|Notice from the United Nations demanding a cessation in hostilities by Sunday 13 February 2022.|none]] | |||
==Crime== | ==Crime== | ||
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