Riccardo Bosi
Riccardo Bosi, also known as Il Douche/Wish.Com Saddam/Reject Shop Gaddaffi and Craptain Cooker; is a prolific author, used car salesman and motivational speaker, from Sydney, Australia. He spent 24 years in the army 'protecting sickos'. He is frequently seen around Camp Cooker with his usher and offsider, David 'Kanga Guru' Graham.
He is well known as the archnemesis of Lord Admiral Graham Hood.
Quotes
GET THAT NUMBER TATTED ON YOUR FORRID! 5 MILLION PEOPLE! Sydney, Melbourne, get off your tails and do some work. Get down here! 5 Million people... This is a moment in history. If we FUCK THIS, WE LOSE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND??! THIS IS OUR TIME, WE EITHER WIN OR LOSE. THOSE BASTARDS UP THERE ARE ALREADY KILLING OUR KIDS! WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE IN STORE FOR US NEXT?
— Riccardo Bosi, Outside Parliament House
relevant conspiracy - blood libel
They wanna make - a baby does not get personhood until they are two years old. Up until that point you can fuck em, you can kill em, you can take body parts out. Ask your mates Kelly and Palmer what the FUCK they're gonna do about that.
— Riccardo Bosi, Video
relevant conspiracy - blood libel
Battle of EPIC
Bosi is currently involved in a leadership struggle against Camp Cooker LARPer-in-Chief, Admiral (ret) Graham Hood. Drone swarms, under the command of Admiral Hood, have allegedly conducted flyovers of Camp Cooker during Bosi's morning briefings, in order to gather intelligence. They have not been successful.
Unmarked vehicles, equipped with radiation weapons, have also been sighted near the front of Camp Cooker. It is not known whether they are acting under the orders of Admiral Hood.
Diet
Bosi's diet consists entirely of RICE AND FUCKIN' ONIONS.
Antics
Political influence
- Inspired by former Italian Prime Minister Benito Mussolini and former American General Flynn.
- Despite being the darling of the FreeDumb movement, Bosi's A1 party remains unable to gather the requisite 1,500 qualified party members to support the party's registration with AEC, allegedly due to the party members failing to pass the standard "Working with Children" checks.
- Bosi is running on the "Save the Children" platform popular among the FreeDumb movement. One of Bosi's election promise is to ban neo-natal abortion, an aggressive proposal that his key political rival UAP Craig Kelly is too chicken shit to support.
- Bosi was narrowly defeated in the 2020 Eden-Monaro By-election, where he accumulated 0% of the votes. [1]
- Bosi is an Islamophobe who was seen giving an unsuspecting Muslim women the classic Bosi treatment in public.
Fashion Choices
- Bosi wears his unmarked camo as his preferred fashion choice. He is definitely not LARPing.
- Bosi refuses to attach any badges or insignia on his camo (including the Australian flag one), because he regularly wears these camos as PJs and the pins hurt him when he sleeps.
War Injury and replacement nipples
- Bosi was leading a raid on innocent afghani farmers when he tripped over and grazed his chest on the ground, ripping off his nipples.
- As part of an experimental program, the SAS replaced his nipples with extremely sharp diamonds.
- Rumour has it his nipples are capable of detaching and being thrown as ninja stars if Bosi is ever disarmed.