Dunny Kirk Evacuation
The Dunny Kirk Evacuation, code-named Operation Dunny-go and also known as Cooker Rush of Dunny kirk, or just Dunny kirk, was the evacuation of the cooker protestors during the Canberra Siege from the EPIC park and surrounds in the north of Canberra between 12 February and 14 February 2022. The operation commenced after a large number of cookers returned to the EPIC center after the decisive and devisive draw of Operation Sovereign Storm and the successful counter action of Operation Sovereign Stand-around.
After the cookers invaded Canberra in February 2022, Canberra and the AFP allegedly declared war on the cookers and imposed a general blockade of local outrage and annoyance on them. After the phoney protests earlier in the first week of February, Canberra was better prepared to handle the influx and called in a few (probably less than) of AFP units from the surrounding regions, the Parliamentary Triangle wardens, and a couple well marked stationary cameras that were clearly ignored.
Late on 10 February, a eviction order was issued by Supreme Chancellor, Commander-in-Chief and Glorious leader of Canberra Andrew Barr with a demand that they depart at 12pm on 13th February 2022. This was approved and ratified by the Territorial Assembly and delivered to EPIC showground that very day. This gave the cookers time to prepare for their evacuation and to do so in an orderly fashion.
On the first day, 12 February, they lost 75% of their number but by the end of 13 February the Garrison at EPIC was all but vacated with a group creating an an incursion into the Cotter region and the more bold Expedition to the Caloola farm representing the first real attempt to break into the south of Canberra. This left the 'Cold Cookedhundred' a band of irregulars made up of the remaining factions in a vain attempt to hold the line, and buy time for the evacuation elements.
Prelude
Without informing the greater elements of the cookers, the leadership began preparing on 12 february for Operation Dunny-go, the evacuation and re-organization of their forces across parts of Canberra. The planning was headed up by General Riccardo Bossi in his five star hotel room, over a cheese platter and a bottle of Chateau-o'der-floor while watching the Married at first sight Season finale. This was interrupted as He was required by Admiral Hoody to help and lead Operation Sovereign Storm.
Evacuation
12 Feb
13 Feb
The day was largely devoted to the exodus of a small percentage of the camp who had been eliminated during the Cooker Open Mic Night events throughout the camp. Camp officals, all of whom refused to be identified as a leader, believe that just 1% of the residents have left.
It also saw a number of semi-finals of the Cooker Open Mic Night, believed to be anywhere from 3 to a staggering 5 million semi-finals. Following these hotly-contested events, which took place in a shed rather than the usual performing arts complex, the grand final commenced at 8:30pm. Danni was crowned winner of this inaugural event, and was awarded the Broken Crack Pipe.
A group of veterinarians established an a campsite, near to the gate at 7th Heaven, where women and children could be protected by angry people with PTSD, and likely weapons. A group of bicycle thugs were also rumoured to have been within this group.
The festivities of the night gradually dwindled around 11:40pm AEST, where the police were seen closing the gates to EPIC, trapping around 1.4 million people inside. A few brave livestreamers continued to prowl through the huge crowds in the final minutes, recording this historic victory for the great unwashed. We anticipated that all mobile data will be cut to the site shortly.
14 Feb
Midnight came, and, just like everything else the cookers have done during their time in Canberra, they once again disappointed the normal people of Australia when nothing actually happened. A few racists comments were made to security guards, but that was about it.
leaked footage of the "vederans" departure
The Operation
Evacuation Routes
Vehicles
| Cooker Cars | Total Engaged | Impounded | Damaged | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cookerforce 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | |||||
| fully sick civic, bruz | 1 | 0 | Probably | |||||
| Vaxed Bus | 1 | 0 | 0 | |||||
| VW Golf | >10 | 0 | 1 | |||||