Cooker Open Mic Night

Cooker Open Mic Night was a series of impromptu events which occurred during the limp occupation of EPIC site during the great Gronkening of February 2022.

Format

This demonstration of a lack of talent occurred in the main performance precinct in the campgrounds, behind the stadium, and conveniently positioned adjacent to the sheep troughs, where the destitute cookers would line up for their daily meals. This allowed them to dance whilst waiting in line, and whilst they wait for their friend to bring back another beer from the neighbour's esky.

Heats would occur at random times during the day, though generally would occur in the morning around 8-9am, depending on how much gear the competitors had consumed the night before. There was generally another heat at 6pm, and a third after dark, though many random rants occurred throughout their stay.

A megaphone was used for amplification of the early rounds to the congregation, though gradually, the PA equipment was upgraded through the event.

Each episode consisted of a random assortment of messages, impassioned speeches, and musical acts. Most acts lasted until the audience started to become agitated or upset.

All speeches must focus on one of the core issues, though unique to this competition, they must then divert along one of the many secondary ideas floating around the camp. Popular amongst these was preaching about god, pedophiles, overthrowing the government, 5G, and the constitution.

Special Events

Several special events occurred throughout the festival of filth.

Celebrity Cooker Open Mic Night

Historians agree that the events of both Tuesday 8 February, and Saturday February 12, 2022, were special Celebrity Editions of the Cooker Open Mic Night series, having attracted many of the big-name cookers to the stage. These included: Riccardo Bosi, Captain Dementia, Guru and many, many more. Regular contestants were forbidden from participating in these events, for obvious reasons.

Sadly, without any mainstream media coverage, these Celebrity Cooker Open Mic Night episodes did not rate well with the people of Australia.

Grand Final

The grand final was hotly contested, immediately before the UN "black people" and Blue-shirt police moved in to evict them. The winner of this inaugural event was Danni from Sydney.

It is covered in a seperate article.